crazy shit

Types of girls

2009-02-27T03:14:00.000-08:00

HARD DISK GIRLS:
she remembers everything, FOREVER

RAM GIRLS:
she forget s about you, the moment you turn her off

WINDOW GIRLS:
everyone know that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live
without her.

SCREENSAVER GIRLS:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun

INTERNET GIRLS:
Difficult to access

SERVER GIRLS:
Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA GIRLS:
She make horrible things look beautiful

CD-ROM GIRLS:
She is always faster and faster.

EMAIL GIRLS:
Of Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense .

VIRUS GIRLS:
Also known as "wife'' when you are not expecting her, she comes,
installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall
her you will lose something, if you don't try uninstalling her you will
lose everything.. .

Tongue Twisters

2009-02-23T00:28:00.000-08:00

1. If you understand, say "understand" . If you don ' t understand, say " don ' t understand". But if you understand and say "don ' t understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!
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2.I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won ' t wish the wish you wish to wish.
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3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
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4 ..A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.
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5 .. Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People
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6 ..If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
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7 ..I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn ' t the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn ' t have thought so much.
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8 ..Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"
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9.Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside.

Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside.

Mr Outside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.
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10..SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES
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11.. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn. **********

12..If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?

"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor ' s the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor ' s way"
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13..We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We ' ll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. Watch? Whether the weather is hot.

Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.
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14..Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely .
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15 .A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue
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16..If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.
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17..Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See ' s saw sawed Soar ' s seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See ' s saw Before See sawed Soar ' s seesaw, See ' s saw would not have sawed Soar ' s seesaw. So See ' s saw sawed Soar ' s seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See ' s saw sawed Soar ' s seesaw .....

Which is more Painful

2009-02-18T11:06:00.000-08:00

Which is more painful ?
This one...

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or This ... ????????????

Surfing Child Porn May Land You in Jail

2009-02-17T00:15:00.001-08:00

For five years with a Rs. 10 lakh fine

After the amended Information Technology Act made it illegal to publish and transmit obscene material or any sexually explicit act/content last month, a newly passed IT Bill is set to punish offenses revolving around child pornography.

So what exactly has been touted as an offense? The new bill is set to make it illegal to not only create and transmit child pornography in any electronic form, but even to browse it, as reported by The Times of India. Publishing and transmitting material depicting children in a "obscene or indecent or sexually explicit manner" can put you behind bars for a long duration - five years, not to mention the hefty Rs. 10 lakh fine it attracts.

Section 67 of the existing act will now be amended. Section 67B proposes particularly to punish acts of publishing and transmitting any electronic sexually explicit act/content that depicts children as opposed to Section 67, which does not specifically mention children anywhere. Now, it will also be an offence to "cultivate, entice or induce children to have an online relationship with other children for a sexual act," the report added.

Woman

2009-02-10T23:26:00.000-08:00

Woman is known to be made out of man's rib bone;

Otherwise how man can orbit her in such a gravity;

Most precious and beautiful creation in the world,

A woman is always the power center behind a man;

No truth is easily acceptable, but not deniable forever

How to make up when you have forgotten your wife’s birthday?

2009-02-10T01:02:00.000-08:00

* First, forget about making excuses. You need to agree with her that you screwed up big-time, and you need to admit it. Sincerely, contritely, loudly and often. Sincerely apologise and say sorry.
* Next, get ready to make a gigantic concession of some sort. Maybe, you could consider a vacation with your in laws that you have been avoiding for quite a while or do something that she has been asking you to do.
* Take her out shopping, plan on watching a movie together and finally take her for a nice and cosy dinner. Spring a surprise on her, maybe get her some flowers, buy a perfume or something like that without being asked to.
* Take a good look at her and compliment her on how nice she looks in the lovely dress that she is wearing.

Hottest Women in Professional wrestling- Diva,s

2009-02-10T00:02:00.000-08:00

Sex ed program credited with changing attitudes

2009-01-05T21:32:00.000-08:00

Now, in its third year, a comprehensive K-12 sex education program in the Cleveland Schools District seems to be producing results.

"We know we are making progress and that we still have a long way to go," says Cleveland Mayor Frank Jackson.

It is called the Responsible Sexual Behavior Initiative. It is funded by grants and also the Cuyahoga County Commissioners.

With a high teenage pregnancy rate and one of the nation's highest STD rates, city and county health officials believed it was necessary to protect young people.

A survey released today show the majority of parents like the program and it is prompting discussions at home with their teenagers about sex. It appears to also be cutting down on risky behavior among teens.

Parents can opt out of the program for their children, but most do not.

Talking about sex-ed that works

2009-01-03T06:40:00.000-08:00

By Kathryn Jean Lopez

In a season just past that’s all about a virgin birth, the Washington Post decided to play Scrooge. Virginity pledges don’t work, an article in that paper recently proclaimed, citing a study packed with the usual hyperbole: abstinence talk is for adults living in a sexless fantasy land! When it comes to kids it’s all about sex, and those silly folks who pretend otherwise are making our kids sick and pregnant.

“Taking a pledge doesn’t seem to make any difference at all in any sexual behavior,” researcher Janet E. Rosenbaum of the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health told the Post. “But it does seem to make a difference in condom use and other forms of birth control that is quite striking.”

An official from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy led the charge in what turned out to be an orgy of abstinence bashing on the Post’s part: “This study again raises the issue of why the federal government is continuing to invest in abstinence-only programs,” she fumed. These folks miss something fundamental: a virginity pledge is more than abstinence education – it’s a promise.

The National Abstinence Education Association disputed the whole premise of the study, using this obvious tack. Its executive director, Valerie Huber, remarked to me in an e-mail interview: “The author inaccurately equates the holistic breadth of an abstinence education program to the one-time event of a virginity pledge. A pledge and an abstinence program are not synonymous.”

But the problem goes beyond lumping in a simple, cut-and-dried oath with the complicated issue of abstinence education. The conundrum boils down to this: it’s not all about sex. It’s no shock to anyone who understands human nature, never mind kids, that any virginity pledge that fixates on brute carnal relations is not going to work. Repeating the mantra “Don’t do it,” even when you’ve got a teen doing the repeating, isn’t enough. How could it work? Popular culture is obsessed with sex. We can’t even manage a family dog movie (“Marley & Me”) without Jennifer Aniston taking off her clothes. And until that changes, of course, a hormone-mad teenager will be sorely tempted to join in the seemingly ubiquitous fornication, pledge or no pledge.

Does that mean we pass out condoms at school because we’re not going to change the culture anytime soon? No. It means kids need support and reasons engage in activities other than sex. Abstinence has to be about saying “yes” to something in order to work. We need to focus on the idea that kids can actually think, and should want more from a relationship than sex. We need to be open to programs that aren’t all about copulation, but about character education.

Because, as Huber and others have noted, building strong lines of parent-child communication while developing and maintaining a sturdy ethical core helps kids immensely when it comes to keeping their pants on.

Meet a child in the Best Friends program, and you’ll see what I mean. An abstinence-education program aimed at inner-city kids, Best Friends adheres to a program that’s met with resounding success. By emphasizing the wealth of activities available to today’s youth, with a special focus on fun and constructive, communal activities, Best Friends can deliver a message that sticks.

Some studies suggest that early premarital sex leads to all sorts of problems, including later divorce. But common sense suggests this as well, and programs like Best Friends teach that sort of thinking – along with a healthy dose of self-respect. Acting responsibly and waiting for a committed, loving relationship pays dividends down the line. And the more examples kids have of successful marriages, the more likely they are to put off sex until after the nuptials.

Forever ingrained in my mind is a scene from 2007’s hit film “Juno,” in which the titular teen, who has recently learned that she’s pregnant, enters an abortion clinic and is offered flavored condoms by a distant receptionist. Once the troublesome baby bump is taken care of, the assumption is, Juno will return to the activities that landed her in the situation to begin with. But this time she’ll be safe! The scene was a great example of the way we handle sex in popular culture and schools: teen sex and teen bodies are problems to be managed and then ignored. Why should teens respect themselves when we don’t respect them?

Family, religion, and yes, abstinence-education programs that focus on character development address this very problem. They treat teens as people – complicated souls who deserve fulfillment and happiness. Contrary to the common caricature, we conservatives don’t hate sex. It’s out of respect for this great gift that we want to teach a respect for it, marriage, and the individual.

The ridiculously obvious sex studies of 2008

2009-01-02T06:04:00.000-08:00

'Sex sells' is something everybody knows and thus a large volume of newsprint in 2008 was dedicated to the topic. But many findings that grabbed headlines this year didn't really tell us anything we didn't already know.

Therefore, Fox News has made a list of the ridiculously obvious sex findings of 2008, which is as follows:

Attractive people probably have more sex

Researchers at the University of Durham in Britain found that men whose faces were more "masculine" and women whose faces were more "attractive" were rated as likelier to have casual sex.

Unplanned pregnancy affects her quality of life

Research in the September issue of Contraception didn't surprise many when they concluded that unintended pregnancy has adverse effects on a woman's quality of life.

Porn as sex educator

A study by the Austrian Institute for Sexual Education made a much obvious finding that more than half of Austrian male youth rely on pornography for sex information.

She's good to ride horses

Research conducted by Dr Shaheen Alanee and colleagues at the University of Minnesota found that horseback riding is not associated with female sexual dysfunction.

Methamphetamine use makes for risky sexual behaviours

While substance abuse has long been associated with risky sexual behaviours, thus it didn't come as any wonder when research in the Journal of School Health found that using methamphetamine is associated with risky sexual behaviours and adolescent pregnancy.

He said/she said

The long known gender divide on sex was again highlighted in the research in the College Student Journal, which found that men are more likely to think that oral sex is not sex, while women felt that such intimacy was very much sex. On the matter of cybersex, men did not regard it as cheating, while women did. Finally, men thought that the frequency of sex drops in a marriage, while women thought that it stays high.

It's okay to pressure her

Research by Sheffield University in England confirmed that teen boys think that it's all right to pressure girls into sex, and use alcohol for getting them into bed.

Condoms make for less pleasure

Complaints about having to use condoms was again tackled when researchers at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University found that women who used condoms, whether solo or with other hormonal methods, reported decreased sexual pleasure.

Ugh! It's Brad and Jen all over again

Ridiculous as it may seem, but an investigation conducted at Queen's University Belfast found the obvious-sexual infidelity was more upsetting for men, whereas emotional unfaithfulness was more distressful for women. Also, it was found that men think that women have sex when they're in love.

Intra... what?

A survey in the September 2008 issue of Contraception found that over 60 percent of 14 to 24-year-old females had never heard of an IUD - intrauterine device. This isn't mind-blowing given most youth do not receive education on any contraceptives.

Abstinence-only programs do not delay the onset of intercourse

In a Sexuality Research and Social Policy review of 56 studies assessing the impact of comprehensive, STD/HIV education, and abstinence-based sex education programs, it was found that most of these programs did not delay the initiation of sex.

It's all in your head

Although sexologists have long been saying that Sex is a mind-body-soul experience, with your brain being your biggest sex organ, there was a Portuguese study this year, which reported that men's concern over erection negatively correlated with sexual arousal. For women, lack of erotic thoughts and failure to control intrusive thoughts were found to impact their sexual response.

Parents want comprehensive sex education

Parents have declared since long that they want their children to get information that protects them from pregnancy, HIV, and STDs. And in the past year, a study in the Journal of Adolescent Health once again found that nine out of 10 parents want their children to be educated on both contraception and abstinence.

Justice eludes women victims

2009-01-01T08:45:00.000-08:00

A secure environment for women appears to be a far cry in India. Crime against the fairer sex is steadily increasing, and less and
less number of the accused are getting convicted. National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) data tells this sorry tale, prevailing for the last three years.

In 2005, a whopping 1.55 lakh cases of crime against women were registered across India, but convictions were recorded in only 30,826 cases - a mere 19.8%. In 2006, case registration jumped to 1.64 lakh, but convictions declined to 28,998, or 17.5%. Continuing the trend, more than 1.85 lakh cases were registered in 2007, but the trial courts found the charge sustainable only in 27,612 cases, a meagre 14.9%.

In Delhi, where working women's security has been a concern, conviction in these cases remained lower than national average in all three years - 10.8% in 2005, 12.4% in 2006 and 13.4% in 2007.

Andhra Pradesh remained at the top of the list in terms of number of cases relating to crime against women -- 20,819 in 2005, 21,484 in 2006 and 24,738 in 2007. And there were convictions in 5,353 cases in 2005 (25.7%), 3,579 in 2006 (16.6%) and 3,911 in 2007 (15.8%).

Such mismatch between cases registered and conviction surely casts an ominous shadow on functioning of the justice delivery system at the lower levels, but importantly, it also raises a serious question about the ability of the police to conduct proper investigation and prepare a watertight case.

In Maharashtra, the conviction rate remained abysmally low at around 4% in each of these three years - 616 of 13,370 cases in 2005, 584 of 14,452 in 2006 and 597 of 14,924 in 2007.

This trend negates the consistent efforts of the Supreme Court to sensitise judges to the heinous crime that scars the victim for rest of her life. It had in numerous rulings said: "Courts must hear the loud cry for justice by the society in cases of heinous crime of rape of innocent helpless girls of tender age, and respond by imposition of proper sentence."

This passionate appeal of the apex court through its ruling appears to have gone unheeded even in Delhi, where the conviction rate in these three years has remained low despite the city registering an increase in such cases from 10.8% in 2005 to 12.4% in 2006 to 13.4% in 2007.

While 4,351 cases of crime against women were registered in 2005, the trial courts recorded conviction only in 473 cases. In 2006, as many as 4,544 cases were registered, but conviction was recorded in 565 cases and in 2007, 4,804 cases were registered, while courts found the police case true in 646 cases.

West Bengal was another state, like Maharashtra, that recorded very low conviction rate, or as statistics tell us, the accused went scot-free. If in 2005 the conviction rate was 6% of the cases registered, it recorded a small increase to 7.8% in 2006 before falling to 2.8% in 2007.

With these statistics staring at us, another missive of the Supreme Court to the trial courts has fallen in deaf ears. It had said: "Protection of society and deterring the criminal was the avowed the object of the law and that was required to be achieved through appropriate sentencing policy."

But, if the police does not prepare a water tight case, there is little the courts can do to bring the culprits to book.

Uttar Pradesh and Tamil Nadu appear to have somewhat acceptable levels of conviction rate. In UP, 2005 saw a conviction rate of 43.5%, but it steadily declined to 41.5% in 2006 and 32.9% in 2007. Tamil Nadu, which had recorded a conviction rate of 53.5% in 2005, also showed a downward trend - 45% in 2006 and 27% in 2007.

How Can More Sex Extend Your Life?

2008-12-27T07:00:00.000-08:00

Written by newsUSA

San Diego, California - Today, many couples are experiencing what is known as the "sexless marriage," or a marriage in which a couple has sex only a few times each year. But what many of these couples fail to realize is that they are missing out on the benefits that sex provides, not only for reasons of emotional intimacy, but also for its physical benefits.

Sexless marriages are neither normal nor inevitable. Setting aside time for intimacy works for some couples, while others find help from all-natural sex aids, like Magic Power Coffee (magicpowercoffee.com) or Viagra. But if you are looking for additional motivation in the bedroom, simply recall the benefits a healthy sex life can provide that will keep you feeling youthful, longer:

- Weight control. Sex can burn 84 calories in 30 minutes, while also improving heart and muscle strength, flexibility and muscle tone. Having regular sex can be used as a tool for couples who are looking to shed pounds or maintain a healthy weight.

- Pain relief. Before popping another aspirin, think about hopping into bed. Sex naturally releases endorphins and corticosteroids, which can help relieve pain from migraines, menstrual cramps and chronic back problems.

- Better sleep. Making love can help insomniacs fall asleep, and it's certainly more fun than counting sheep or keeping you partner awake as you toss and turn. Getting enough sleep carries its own health benefits, including healthy weight and blood pressure.

- Stress relief. Sex lowers both blood pressure and overall stress. In a study reported in the journal Biological Psychology, individuals who had intercourse performed better in high-stress situations like public speaking and verbal arithmetic.

- Reduces prostate cancer risk. An Australian study, reported in the British Journal of Urology International, found that 20-something men who led healthy sex lives were less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life.

Eat your toast - or lose your virginity

2008-12-26T10:13:00.000-08:00

PEOPLE who skip breakfast tend to lose their virginity earlier, according to researchers in Japan.
In a study of 3000 people, those who did not regularly eat breakfast in their early teens said they lost their virginity at an average age of 17.5, versus an overall average age of 19 for all Japanese.

Those who had a morning meal when they were younger had their first sexual experience at 19.4 years.

The study, backed by Japan's health ministry, was aimed at finding ways to curb unwanted pregnancies. It concluded that a stable home life discouraged early sex.

"Those unhappy with their parents - such as for not preparing breakfast - may tend to find a way to release their frustration by having sex," said Kunio Kitamura, head of the Japan Family Planning Association who led the research.

"If children don't feel comfortable in their family environment, they tend to go out."

Young people who start having sex early tended to miss breakfast because they return home late, he said.

Japan has one of the world's lowest birthrates as more young people put off starting families, finding them a burden on their careers or lifestyles.

The survey also found that nearly 40 per cent of married couples had not had sex in more than a month.

Respondents said they were too tired because of work or found sex to be a pain, according to the study.

Sex no longer a taboo subject at nursing homes

2008-12-22T04:08:00.000-08:00

When Kansas State University sent researchers into nursing homes to find out how the topic of sex was being addressed, they initially found silence.

"Nobody was talking about it; it was a really hush-hush subject," said Gayle Doll, director of the university's Center on Aging. "I guess it's hard enough for people to think about their parents having sex, let alone their grandparents."

In response, the researchers have produced seminars and training aids to encourage nursing home caregivers to discuss and accommodate sexual desires.

The effort brings Kansas into a national discussion that advocates say will only grow as baby boomers age and take their beliefs about sexual freedom and civil rights into the nation's nursing homes.

One of the first Kansas seminars was held at Schowalter Villa in Hesston, where many staff first reacted with, "We're going to talk about WHAT?" said Lillian Claassen, vice president of health services at the villa.

Claassen said residents' sexuality had always been a difficult subject for nursing homes and the Kansas State training affirmed her earlier efforts to address the topic.

"It wasn't like we hadn't cared for these needs in the past, but it was liberating to some folks to have an open discussion with university researchers," Claassen said. "It empowered people to think about how they could help folks."

Doll said the training focuses on explaining what sexuality means for older adults, identifying barriers to fulfilling the sexual needs, finding strategies to help residents and how to discern appropriate from inappropriate sexual behaviors.

Solutions can be as simple as providing "do not disturb" signs or making sure staffers don't barge into residents' rooms without knocking. Claassen said her nursing home provides a discreet room for residents and has staff work through possible scenarios they may encounter.

Sometimes, it's as simple as arranging a bed for someone who needs physical therapy in a way that also allows that patient to be with his or her companion, she said.

"My greatest interest is to promote dignity in a situation that can be very challenging," Claassen said. "We all need touch, kindness and companionship. We try to enable that in this setting, which can be very public but where there is still a need for privacy."

Sexuality doesn't always mean intercourse. Many lonely or depressed residents are simply looking for ways to relieve loneliness and depression, Doll said.

For example, she told of one resident who had asked for pornography but dropped the request when the staff started spending more time with him.

"The staff can help with the loneliness and need for connection that residents often have," Doll said. "Some sexual expressions that might be seen as inappropriate will go away when they simply get the attention they deserve."

When the need does include sexual activity, the issue becomes more difficult if one of the residents is suffering from dementia, advocates say. That can manifest itself in a resident making passes at a staff member.

Claassen said her staff is trained to respond politely and to understand that the impaired resident may be mistaking the staff member for a spouse or reacting as he or she has in the past, which is often more vivid than the present for those suffering from dementia.

If a resident with dementia becomes involved with another resident, the issue becomes determining if the sexual activity is consensual, said Robin Dessel, a national expert on dementia who is the director of memory care at Hebrew Home in Riverdale, N.Y.

Dessel said people with dementia, even those who can no longer speak, have wants and desires and the ability to express them. It takes a trained and educated staff to recognize if a sexual overture or relationship involves abuse or is borne of real need, she said.

Dessel said she has seen a growing awareness that the aging do not forfeit their rights as they become infirm, and that includes the right to express sexuality. She expects that trend to increase as baby boomers, with more liberal attitudes toward sex than their parents, continue to age.

"No matter what we see, even if someone needs total care or is incontinent, they still feel," Dessel said. "If there's a bonding with someone else, I think it's a time of celebration at that point that there's something left, something good and pleasurable for that person."

To meet that challenge, clinicians and providers need some standardized parameters to use to assess patients' consent, Dessel said.

The Kansas State researchers say federal guidelines should be developed to help nursing homes deal with sexuality in a positive way.

"Nursing homes are the second most regulated industry in the country, behind nuclear power plants," Doll said. "But none of those regulations address sexuality. So, consequently, no one knows how to handle it."

Legs Akimbo

2008-12-19T06:12:00.001-08:00

More Malaysian women found with HIV

2008-12-18T22:41:00.000-08:00

Hazlin Hassan
The Straits Times

The number of women with HIV infections in Malaysia has soared.

The rise has added urgency to calls for the government to make HIV screening compulsory for Muslims before they get married.

Deputy Prime Minister Najib Razak announced the move to make human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) screening mandatory after chairing a meeting of the Cabinet Committee on Aids yesterday.

'Next year, we will make it mandatory for all states to impose the HIV screening as part of the pre-marital course,' he told reporters.

Some states, including Kelantan, Negeri Sembilan, Sabah, Sarawak and Selangor, have already made it mandatory for Muslim couples to undergo HIV screening before they get married.

This latest move comes as fresh statistics reveal that the number of women infected with HIV is rising sharply.

The number of women infected through normal sexual intercourse rose from 5.02 per cent in 1997 to 16.3 per cent last year.

Back in 2006, the Malaysian health authorities had already detected a rise in the number of women infected with HIV/Aids.

According to the Malaysian Aids Council, the country's leading Aids non-governmental organisation, the majority of them were housewives.

It said that among women infected then, 1,628 were housewives while only 406 were sex workers.

As of June this year, the total number of housewives infected was 2,565, compared with 525 cases of infections among sex workers, according to Ministry of Health figures.

Many of these new infections were among married monogamous women, indicating that they acquired the virus from their husbands.

HIV infections among housewives were highest in Kedah, Terengganu and Kelantan, with each recording more than 200 cases, according to the New Straits Times.

Among the male cases, the majority of them were drug users. They comprised some 59,000 of the total 83,527 HIV cases in the country.

Aids researchers said this likely indicates that men who were infected via contaminated needles were transmitting the disease to their partners.

Left untreated, HIV causes Aids, which can lead to death.

While the number of women infected is rising sharply, the overall HIV infection rate in Malaysia has dropped by nearly half over the past five years, Datuk Seri Najib pointed out yesterday.

This year, there were 3,452 new HIV cases, compared with 6,756 in 2003, thanks to a national programme to stem infections, he said.

The government's goal is to reduce the figure to 11 cases per 100,000 population by 2015 compared with 12.8 cases now, he added.

But the move to make HIV screenings mandatory was condemned yesterday by the Malaysian Aids Council, which called it 'alarming'.

Council president Adeeba Kamarulzaman said in a statement that it was crucial that each person who receives a positive HIV test result also receives counselling and treatment.

She warned that women, in particular, 'due to their lower status in society, are more likely than men to be vulnerable to discrimination, violence, abandonment and ostracism, if they are found to be infected with HIV'.

The statement also warned that a policy of mandatory screening 'may drive those infected with HIV underground and not achieve its purported goal of protecting public health'.

However, most ordinary Muslims who have yet to tie the knot have welcomed the move.

Anis Abdullah, who is single and in her 30s, said that the test is not a big deal to her.

'If I'm going to be sleeping with someone, I'd really like to know that he's safe and I wouldn't be offended if he asked me to take the test either.

'It's because of this day and age we're in. It's very easy to tell yourself 'no sex before marriage', but it's not always that easy,' she told The Straits Times.

Lavinia Rahman, 38, said: 'I wouldn't want to feel 'cheated' if I were to discover my significant other is HIV- positive after we are married, regardless of how he got it.'

Still women loves man

2008-12-17T23:36:00.000-08:00

Interesting facts

Men are like computers hard to figure out and never have enough memory Still Women likes man

Men are like coolers load them with beer and you can take them anywhere Still Women likes man

Men are like chocolate bars sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips Still Women likes man

Men are like coffee the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night Still Women likes man

Men are like horoscopes they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong Still Women likes man

Men are like cement after getting laid they take a long time to get hard Still Women likes man

Men are like laxatives they irritate the shit out of you Still Women likes man

Men are like parking spots the good ones are already taken and what's left is handicapped Still Women likes man

A man is like a snowstorm you never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long he will last Still Women likes man

What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it Still Women likes man

How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Still Women likes man

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. Still Women likes man

Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odours and don't work half the time. Still Women likes man

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year the dog is still excited to see you. Still Women likes man

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. Still Women likes man

What's the difference between men and government bonds? Bonds mature Still Women likes man

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We don't know, it's never happened Still Women likes man

Why are men like tile floors? If you lay ' em properly the first time, you can walk over them for years. Still Women likes man

What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted. Still Women likes man

AND FINALLY Why is it hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? Because these men already have boyfriends! Still Women likes man

HIV Can Penetrate a Woman's Healthy Genital Skin

2008-12-17T07:07:00.000-08:00

Study finds virus can reach immune cells in just 4 hours

TUESDAY, Dec. 16 (HealthDay News) -- A new route of male-to-female transmission of HIV -- in which the virus can travel through healthy genital skin to reach immune cells in just four hours -- has been identified by U.S. researchers.

It's long been believed that the normal lining of the vaginal tract was an effective barrier to HIV during sexual intercourse, because the large HIV virus couldn't penetrate the tissue. But the Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine researchers found that HIV can penetrate normal, healthy genital tissue to a depth where it can get to immune cells and infect them.

The researchers labeled HIV viruses with photo-activated fluorescent tags and were able to track the viruses as they penetrated the outermost lining of the female genital tract (the squamous epithelium) in female human tissue obtained through hysterectomy and in animal models.

The findings were expected to be presented Dec. 16 at the American Society for Cell Biology annual meeting, in San Francisco.

"This is an unexpected and important result. We have a new understanding of how HIV can invade the female genital tract," principal investigator Thomas Hope, a professor of cell and molecular biology, said in a university news release.

"Until now, science has really had no idea about the details of how sexual transmission of HIV actually works. The mechanism was all very murky," Hope said.

These findings, if confirmed in future studies, could help in the development of new microbicides and vaccines to protect women against HIV.

"We urgently need new prevention strategies or therapeutics to block the entry of HIV through a woman's genital skin," said Hope. While condoms are 100 percent effective in blocking HIV, "people don't always use them for cultural and other reasons."

Women account for 26 percent of all new HIV cases in the United States, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Based on its most recent analysis of 2005 data, the CDC estimated that there were 56,300 new HIV infections that year, and 31 percent were due to high-risk heterosexual contact. More than half of the new cases of HIV infection worldwide are in women.

More information

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has more aboutwomen and HIV.

Global Orgasm Day - "Peace Through Global Ecstacy"

2008-12-15T22:35:00.000-08:00

Dec 21st, 2008 is "Global Orgasm Day" during the two hour period of the winter solstice transition. Timing varies based on your timezone, so check out the time here.

The day is designed to effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible instantaneous surge of human biological, mental and spiritual energy.

To find out more, check out Global Orgasm.

What is the difference between men and women?

2008-12-15T10:49:00.000-08:00

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night....
3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
5. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman- before and after marriage.
6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
8. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
10. Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.

Adulthood Without Sex

2008-12-15T10:44:00.000-08:00

By Philip D. Harvey
Sunday, May 12, 2002; Page B07

The abstinence-only sex education programs in our public schools call for "abstinence until marriage." The federal government spent $115 million on this message last year, and the Bush administration is proposing significant increases for the current year. Sexual abstinence until marriage is now official government policy.

The average age of marriage in the United States today is 27 for men and 26 for women. The abstinence-only program therefore asks our young people to renounce sexual activity throughout much of the early part of adult life.

Age 26 or 27 is an average. There are millions of Americans who do not marry until age 30, 35 or later. I myself did not marry until age 40. Had anyone suggested to me that I should remain sexually abstinent until that time, I would have found the idea preposterous.

Those who insist that sex education in our high schools be confined to exhortations to abstain from sexual activity might say they don't really mean abstinence until age 27 or age 30. What they really mean is abstinence during the younger years.

The problem with this approach is that it is dishonest. If those who assert that sex must be postponed until marriage really mean that sex should be postponed only until age 19 or 20 or 21, they should say so, and their message would be taken more seriously. They do not because their convictions dictate that sex outside marriage -- at any age -- is wrong and, if wrong, cannot be recognized. They may understand that it is unrealistic to expect abstinence until age 27, but they cannot permit themselves to alter their message to take that into account.

I wonder if those who seriously advocate abstinence until marriage would prefer to see the marriage age come down. It is in those cultures where marriage takes place at particularly early ages that abstinence until marriage is realistic. The average age of marriage in Bangladesh, for example, is 18. Under such circumstances abstinence until marriage is at least feasible.

But in modern industrialized societies, where women have educational opportunities and more than half attend college, marriage in the teenage years will likely become increasingly rare. If we agree, as I think most Americans do, that equal educational and occupational opportunities for women are a good thing, that our society is enhanced and enriched by these developments, then I think we must accept the fact that marriage in the middle or late twenties is the modern societal norm. If that is so, the expectation of sexual abstinence until marriage is utterly unrealistic.

I would argue also that such an expectation, when translated into a policy (such as federally funded sex education calling for such a restriction), is wrong. It is wrong to expect young people to be sexually abstinent until they are more than half way through their twenties. Sexual relations are an important component of human happiness, and there is no moral purpose served by abstaining from sex if two people are mature and responsible. Why should they be deprived of sex?

It is worth noting too that many of the reasons young Americans do not marry at age 17 or 18 or 19 are reasons compatible with much of America's traditional cultural agenda. Our youth are less inclined than they were some decades ago to marry hastily, perhaps to the wrong person. Instead, most young Americans wish to be sure that they have found the appropriate mate so that they may create an honorable and viable union. It is difficult to argue with such motivation. Even the practice of cohabitation prior to marriage, now very common in the United States, may be both a sensible and a moral practice, which makes the resulting marriage more likely to be happy and to endure.

In today's United States, a policy of abstinence until marriage is anachronistic. Abstinence until adulthood and then responsible, protected sex is the message we should convey.

Philip D. Harvey is a writer and businessman.

Young women 'have more sexual partners than men'

2008-12-11T00:42:00.000-08:00

It seems that girls do get on top of their partners when it comes to sex, for a study has found that young women have more bed sharers than men.

Researchers have carried out the study and found that young women are more promiscuous than men and the average 21- year-old is notching up for nine sexual partners as compared to seven in case of males.

In fact, they have based their findings on a survey of 2,000 people. The poll revealed that young women are twice as likely to cheat and more than 70 per cent have had a one-night stand, 'The Daily Telegraph' reported.

In fact, according to the survey, one in four young women has slept with more than ten people, compared with one in five men who had done the same.

What's more interesting is that the survey found that few young women today hold to traditional views on sexual morality -- just one per cent of young women said they would want to get married before having sex, with the majority losing their virginity at the age of 16.

More than half said they were not in love with their first partner, and only one in three believe it is important to be in love with someone before going to bed with them.

In addition, 60 per cent said they would be prepared to do a "kiss-and-tell", and would sell their account of a one-night-stand with a famous person for 20,000 pounds, the researchers found.

Four out of ten confessed they would marry for money or sleep with their boss if it meant they would get promoted, while a quarter would have an affair with a married man.

The survey also found that young women are taking "huge risks" with their health, with 38 per cent not using a condom with a new partner and 16 per cent having contracted a sexually transmitted disease.

And, the average young woman has sex three times a week but would prefer to do it five times.

"Our results show that after decades of lying back and thinking of England, today's twenty-something women are taking control of their sex lives and getting what they want in bed," Lisa Smosarski, the Editor of 'More', which commissioned the survey, was quoted as saying.

Women are now far more promiscuous than men, says shock new study

2008-12-09T19:45:00.000-08:00

By Paul Sims

Being bold and brazen in the bedroom won Carrie Bradshaw and her friends a legion of female fans.

But viewers who think the 'anything goes' sexual antics in Sex And The City is fiction should perhaps think again.

Life, it would appear, is more than a match for art.

Young women are becoming more promiscuous, with more sexual partners than men, researchers have found.
Life imitating art?: The sexual antics of Sex And The City aren't fiction after all
By the age of 21 they have had sex with an average of nine lovers - two more than their male partner.

And a quarter have slept with more than ten partners in the five years since losing their virginity - compared with a fifth of young men.

Young women are also twice as likely to be unfaithful, with 50 per cent admitting they have cheated on a partner - half at least twice.

Yet if their man was caught being unfaithful, 99 per cent of the 2,000 women surveyed said they would show him the door.

The sex survey, for More magazine, also found women crave more sex but still believe men enjoy it more than they do.

The survey follows a U.S. study earlier this year that found teenage girls who watch a lot of TV shows with a high sexual content, such as Friends and Sex And The City, are twice as likely to become pregnant.

The researchers for that study concluded: 'One problem is that these and similar programmes glamorise sex while hardly mentioning its downsides, such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.'

Lisa Smosarski, editor of More, suggested that there will be no turning back for today's sexually confident young women. 'Our results show that after decades of lying back and thinking of England, today's twenty-something women are taking control of their sex lives and getting what they want in bed. And why not?

'Women today have increasingly busy and stressful lives juggling study, jobs, friends, family, career and their relationships,' she said.

'Sex is a great and free way to relax, unwind and have fun in today's fairly stressful society.'

The survey found more than half of the women were not in love with the person to whom they lost their virginity.

And only 32 per cent believed love to be an important factor before having sex. Seven out of ten confessed to having had a one-night stand and a fifth had enjoyed more than five.

Only 1 per cent said they would wait until marriage to have sex.

One in four said they would marry for money whilst 39 per cent would sleep with their boss for a promotion. And 27 per cent would have an affair with a married man, while 14 per cent would sleep with their best friend's partner.

The study was carried out to launch More's safe sex campaign, which starts this week.

It found that almost a fifth of the young women surveyed had contracted a sexually transmitted disease while 21 per cent had been persuaded by a man not to use a condom when they wanted to.

Miss Smosarski said: 'Whilst women aren't embarrassed to take the lead in the bedroom, it seems they're not so forthright when it comes to contraception.'

Women want post-sex cuddle, not foreplay

2008-12-09T19:37:00.000-08:00

Forget foreplay, it's what comes after sex that matters most to women, a survey has found.
A survey of more than 5600 women in Japan shows almost half (49 per cent) want a longer continuation of intimate interactions with their partner after sex.

This compares to 44 per cent who said they wanted longer foreplay and the 38 per cent of women who said they wanted longer actual intercourse.

The survey also quizzed the women on how open they were with their partner about sex, and 38.8 per cent said they had never discussed their favourite sex practises with their partner.

"Women consider longer foreplay and after play to be more important," the study, published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, concludes.

"Suggesting women would benefit by being more forthright in expressing their sexual desires to their partners."

More than 30 per cent of the women also rated their partners performance in bed as either "very selfish" (6.9 per cent), or "selfish" (25.5 per cent).

The survey results were released at the European and International Societies for Sexual Medicine, which is underway in Brussels.

Women who cut hair short no longer interested in sex, claim experts

2008-12-08T10:23:00.000-08:00

Women who lop their hair short are no longer interested in bedroom action, say researchers, who claim that deliberately reducing ones attractiveness can sometimes be a way of repelling mens interest.

London, Dec 6 : Women who lop their hair short are no longer interested in bedroom action, say researchers, who claim that 'deliberately reducing one's attractiveness' can sometimes be a way of repelling men's interest.

Initially, the claim was made by sex therapist and former comedian Pamela Stephenson, 59, who said that ladies who cut their hair are deliberately making themselves less sexy to blokes.

However, now the theory has got scientific backing after experts claimed that the links between long hair and sex go back to caveman times, reports the Daily Star.

Dr Pam Spurr, a relationships expert, said: "The woman who no longer wants sex uses a haircut to show she's reclaiming power in the bedroom.

"For women, hair is a reflection of the person, of her moods and her self-esteem."

Relationship psychologist Anjula Mutanda added: "Cave paintings celebrated long-haired women - the longer the hair the more fertile and, therefore, desirable she was."

But body language and behaviour expert Judy James disagrees, saying: "The only thing it symbolises these days is the shutting off of childhood. In terms of sex, I would argue it has the opposite effect."

What If Woman ruled the World

2008-11-29T05:39:00.001-08:00

Cought red handed

2008-11-25T08:50:00.000-08:00

Blackberrys dangerous for cheating husbands

2008-09-20T13:40:00.000-07:00

Cheating husbands can be easily caught by a flirty text message on their Blackberry than a mark of lipstick smudged on their shirt’s collar, says a new study.

According to a survey, since men are rubbish at creating passwords, women can easily follow their partner’s electronic trail of adultery.

The survey of 100 couples found that a quarter of men used the password God or Sex and 15 per cent used 1966 — England’s World Cup winning year.

Another 22 per cent used their mum’s name.

“Three in five women I see now come with evidence,” The Sun quoted divorce lawyer Vanessa Lloyd Platt, as saying.

'Sex doc' busy writing books in jail

2008-09-11T05:20:00.000-07:00

Serving a life term for dabbling in the business of erotica, orthopaedic surgeon Dr L Prakash is busy churning out books on various subjects including a four-volume book on Mahabharata in his prison cell.

Convicted for providing pornographic pictures to websites, the 52-year-old doctor reportedly is busy writing on subjects ranging from science, adventure and his pet subject -- erotica.

Prakash was arrested in December 2001 following a complaint from a youth that he was forced to commit sexual acts with women, which were filmed and later posted on websites hosted by the doctor. He was sentenced in February this year.

G Asokan of Banana Books said that he has already published four books of Prakash -- Glimpses of Vedic Wisdom , Swiss Chocolates , Maybach Maiden , and Tangled Web Beats .

Asokan came to know of Prakash through an advocate S Namonarayanan who was imprisoned in the same jail for three days for unlawful assembly where he read Prakash's books and brought this to the notice of the publishers.

Following this the publishers had a brief meeting with Prakash when he was brought to court last June and clinched the deal.

"We will bring out his six lakh worded Mahabharata in four volumes in October and plan to publish more," he said.

Namonarayanan reportedly told Asokan that the doctor was involved in writing for hours. Recently, the Madras High Court allowed the doctor to have a personal computer.

10 Worst Things you could possibly say after Sex

2008-08-27T17:26:00.000-07:00

What is the worst thing you could say after sex to someone?

1. "That was alright...Ok bye."
2. "Your sister was better."
3. Does your vagina itch as much as my penis!? Maybe I should get these crabs checked out.
4. You and your mother have ALOT in common! (ooooooooo)
5. "No, I'm still pretty sure you're gay. Nice try, though."
6. " Is it out yet? "
7. I thought you said you were a virgin!
8. "You know you just raped me".
9. "How much you want for that?"
10. Boy says "I Love You Baby!" Girl says, "Why so serious?"

Cosmetic Surgery On Your Pink Bits

2008-08-27T15:11:00.000-07:00

Vulva reconstruction, vaginaplasty, vulvaplasty, vaginal rejuvenation, labia plumping, hymen repair, even g-spot enhancement…

A horde of plastic surgeons stand ready with needles and scalpels aimed at women’s most intimate areas. Feminists across the globe continue to respond with burning vindication at yet another trend requiring impossible “perfection,” now in areas that many of us don’t even talk about in public. Is genital cosmetic surgery a low blow or is it an opportunity for some women to finally come to peace with new and “improved” bodies?

There was the college housemate with inner labia so flowery that she had to roll and tuck them to keep them from chafing. With her buzzed rainbow hair and army boots, she wouldn’t opt for surgery to change her body anywhere, much less a labia reduction. I might not fault her if she did, it seemed potentially uncomfortable and inconvenient. But she loved her body and prided herself on her unique and highly sensual vulva. Her lovers felt the same.

This summer, I learned that women have been flocking for a procedure termed g-spot enhancement, in which a common cosmetic plumping agent is inserted blindly into the vagina. The result is a more prominently raised area in the g-spot region and, providers claim, a woman who is more desirous and responsive to sex. Sound too good to be true? The blind method of injecting the stuff is imprecise and runs the very frightening risk of causing long-lasting or permanent, painful damage to the urethra and bladder. Even if it works, the stuff breaks down in a few weeks or months and so she must go in and risk her health again to maintain the effects. “Clinics” that offer these procedures collect premium fees, but have failed to be monitored or studied. They claim to have research to back up their work, but refuse to release the details. Hmmm…

As nice as the g-spot is, and it can be VERY nice, I can’t help but think it is wonderful on its own. If properly aroused, the area will plump naturally and respond delightfully to the right stimulation. Perhaps her partner needs an enlarged interest in her pleasure and a more swollen set of sexual skills. Do we have a shot for that yet? Or perhaps an injection for confidence in one’s body?

And now there are Kegel spas, as featured in today’s Teasers (see the post below). On one hand, I’m all for plush palaces of pelvic pleasure where women learn the right way to do exercises that naturally tone intimate muscles and increase sexual sensations as well as the strength of orgasms. Heck, we even know that these wonderful exercises can ease childbirth and relieve many cases of stress incontinence (aka the dreaded sneeze and pee). Why must it be combined with cosmetic procedures? I want to trust a place that praises and teaches Kegels. They trust women who are insecure or unhappy with their genitals to pay for “enhancements.”

I want to know…

Are these women doing it so they are happier when they look in the mirror, or to look “better” for their partners? Are they seeking to perform “better” in bed, or are they primarily interested in their own pleasure?

In the back of my mind a small voice is screaming “It’s none of your business.” It’s easy for me to judge. I have not given birth, so I don’t want it is like for a baby to change my vagina. I’ve never felt disgusted while looking at my gentials. My g-spot is my friend. Heck, I don’t even wear make-up, so I clearly am at peace with the looks my mom & dad gave me. What happened to me here? Why do I think I should get to insert my opinions and ideas about health and morals into the pants of other women?

Perhaps, instead of asking these women why they do it, I should be asking myself:

How am I different from these cosmetic surgeons when I seek to pressure women about how they should feel about their genitals?

Earth Liberation Viagra

2008-07-06T01:07:00.000-07:00

Jamie Oliver calls for sex ban to get men cooking

2008-05-25T01:16:00.000-07:00

Jamie Oliver believes that women should abstain from sex with their husbands or boyfriends to punish them if they refuse to cook.

“Men are driven by sex,” the celebrity chef said this weekend at the annual Hay-on-Wye festival. “So the best way for women to get their men into the kitchen would be to stop having sex with them until they start to cook.”

Oliver, who is making a Channel 4 series centred on the town of Rotherham, said he was appalled by how few men in the Yorkshire town can cook.

“I ask if they cook at all and they simply say, ‘Don’t be so daft’. I found myself working with men who’ve never even lifted a pan, let alone cooked.”

Oliver, who is best known for television programmes such as The Naked Chef and Jamie’s School Dinners, said that once men had got over the first hurdle, there was “a pride on their faces” when they had learnt to cook a few dishes.

“When I was filming the documentary about better school dinners, I never got to ‘the home’. Now I’m living with families who can’t cook; food has no place in these families,” he said.

“I could halve their food budget. With £60 a week they could eat good dinners, plain lunches and a roast dinner from a good free-range bird every week.”

Oliver, who believes the best cooks in the world are women, thinks many British people are simply scared of cooking. “There is this fear, which is not the case in families in Italy,” he said.

Oliver believes that basic cooking skills should be part of the school syllabus. He is also angry with the government for, as he put it, reneging on its £500m plan to improve school dinners.

“The government has not ring-fenced that money,” he said. “Schools could just as easily buy computers and books in that case.”

The chef is still concerned about what children eat at lunchtime. “I now reckon that 60% of packed lunches are worse than school dinners. The number of kids as young as five with reheated McDonald’s meals and Red Bull [energy drink] in their packed lunches is appalling,” he said.

Oliver added that the government should reintroduce a separate Ministry of Food.

At present food comes under the remit of the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs and Oliver claimed that food issues had been marginalised. The government should encourage more towns to set up markets selling fresh food, he said.

Oliver hinted that his next role would be as a “champion for pigs”. The chef, who supported free-range chickens in his documentary Jamie’s Fowl Dinners, said he had considered concentrating on beef or milk, but opted for pigs after asking his audience.

10 reasons Women are better than Men

2008-05-15T09:18:00.000-07:00

Here is why i think women are better than men :

1. Women smell better
Have a woman exercise all day long , in the head . Have a man do the same thing. After a while you will always find that the woman smells better

2. Women are pretty
They are beautiful , men always like to look at women , they are like jewels or kittens . You can never get bored

3. Women can control men
This is old news , since the dawn of time men have been controlled by women . Even the most powerful man on the planet has a woman that will tell him what to do

4. Men feel good around women
I have noticed that men like having women around . Even on a guys night out , it is good to have a woman in the background . Men like to be watched by women , they need a woman to see what they do .

5. Women are clean
They bathe/shower more often , they will spend hours taking care of their bodies

6. Women are softer
It feels nice when you hold a woman in your arms
The skin is soft and warm , who doesn’t like that ?

7. Women can make babies
Yup , we men would be extinct if there where no babies , having women around will keep us alive . Men will never be able to have children (maybe with some tech ? )

8. Women have boobies
Another thing that a man can’t have . In fact Boobies control the universe and the minds of men.

9. Women have more holes than men
Yes it is true , they do have more holes , a tested and proven fact , unless we shoot a man , he will always have fewer holes :)

10. Women do not need men
If they discover a way to procreate without the help of man , we are fracked .. This is why we are still around ..

ok , that is about it .. i am sure there are way more reasons , these are the ones invoked by me today

Women's sexual problems rooted in inhibition

2008-05-01T07:57:00.000-07:00

Most of the sexual problems women experience seem to be rooted in inhibition, according to a Kinsey Institute study.

Researchers studied the responses of 540 women to shed light on why some of them experience these problems and others don't.

Sexual inhibition scores were the strongest predictor of current and past sexual problems, even better than demographic and background factors like age and socio-economic status, besides sexual activities.

"These findings suggest that high scores on sexual inhibition may help predict which women are vulnerable to experience sexual problems," said Cynthia Graham of the institute and co-author of the paper.

"They may also be used as prognostic factors in treatment studies,” says Graham.

"Arousal Contingency" or the ease with which arousal can be disrupted by situational factors, and "Concerns about Sexual Function" were the two most predictive of women's sexual problems.

This theoretical model reflects the idea that sexual response in individuals is the product of a balance between excitatory and inhibitory processes.

Researchers believe these two systems operate somewhat independent of each other and are different in each person.

The study was published in the April issue of Archives of Sexual Behaviour.

Dating in 140 Characters or Less

2008-04-28T10:35:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a friend the other day who was telling me about this girl he met at a coffee shop. She noticed that he had the same laptop as she did and sparked a conversation. They talked for an hour before she had to go.

“Did you get her number?” I asked.

“No, but I got her Twitter. That’s even better!” he replied.

Wow. What a world we live in.

Is it really better to get attached to someone’s Twitter? As he explained to me, it allowed him and her to get to know each other based upon what they were doing in their lives instead of the front that we put up on the phone. I, of course, countered that the lives we lead online are often not the best indication of reality.

I didn’t make a difference. He felt that she had just opened a door to her inner circle of friends, an intimate view of her world that only a select couple of hundred other people have. Oh well.

I might as well go get a wedding gift now.

Man-hating jokes

2008-04-20T06:59:00.000-07:00

these are from some man-hating chick… damn she hates us guys…

Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?
A: Because they are plugged into a genius.

Q: Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
A: They don’t have time.

Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
A: They won’t stop for directions.

Q: Why did God put men on earth?
A: Because a vibrator can’t mow the lawn.

Q: Why don’t women have men’s brains?
A: Because they don’t have penises to put them in.

Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
A: They’re intended for children, but it’s the men who usually end up playing with them.

Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A: Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock.

Q: Why do men masturbate?
A: It’s sex with someone they love.

Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A: So they won’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties.

Q: Why did God make men before women?
A: You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

Q: Why is a man’s pee yellow and his sperm white?
A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.

Q: How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
A: Nobody knows, it hasn’t happened yet.

Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: What men know about women.

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.

Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: He eats beans for dinner.

Q: What’s a man’s idea of foreplay?
A: A half hour of begging.

Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually aroused?
A: He’s breathing

Q: What’s the difference between men and government bonds?
A: Government bonds mature.

Q: How do you save a man from drowning?
A: Take your foot off of his head.

Q: What do men an beer bottle have in common?
A: They are both empty from the head up.

Q: How can you tell if a man is happy?
A: Who cares?

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don’t know. It’s never happened.

Q: How are men and parking spots alike?
A: The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

Q: What is a man’s idea of helping out with housework?
A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.

Aggressive macho men don't always get the girl

2008-04-19T06:51:00.000-07:00

Being an aggressive macho male doesn’t mean that you will always get the girl, for according to a new study, the fainthearted do also have a good chance of winning the heart of the fair damsel.

Researchers have for long been puzzled by the knowledge that if aggression makes men more likely to father kids, then all males should be selected to be very aggressive. However, this is not the case.

In a study on fruit flies, the boffins carrying out the study noted that the females of the species sometimes choose males who do not fight, and sometimes choose males for no obvious reason.

This, they say, may help explain the large variation in aggressiveness in most species, including humans.

One reason for this variation, they added, could be that no fighting strategy works all the time.

“We showed in fruit flies that even the most genetically aggressive flies can have an Achilles heel, and lose against males who are (for the most part) wimps,” study leader Brad Foley, from the University of Southern California.

“There’s no single way to win a fight, or win mates. Females didn’t necessarily prefer aggressive males -- some males mated less when they lost fights, but some males mated more if they didn’t fight. Moreover, different females preferred different males.

“Unexpected interactions between individuals can define winners and losers (so-called ‘chemistry’). In order to understand why flies, and humans, and other animals, are so genetically different from each other, we need to stop imagining there's a ‘best’ kind of strategy,” he added.

Google tackles child pornography

2008-04-16T01:20:00.000-07:00

Google engineers have adapted a software program to help track child sex predators and search for patterns in images of abuse on the web.

Google has created the technology for the National Centre for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC).

It was originally developed to block copyrighted videos on the company's YouTube division.

The program uses pattern recognition to enable analysts to sort and identify files containing child sex abuse.

Google says its aim in teaming up with the centre's Technology Coalition Against Child Pornography is to develop solutions that would make it harder for people to use the web to exploit children or traffic in child pornography.

"You always hope that your work will eventually be used to do some good in the world, and this was an amazing chance to make that hope real," said Google research scientist Shumeet Baluja.

Overwhelming task

Mr Baluja, who was also the technical leader of the project, said that as more and more predators use the web to ensnare children, "analysts were getting overwhelmed by all of the data they had to sift through".

Since 2002 the NCMEC has pored over 13 million child sex abuse images and videos in an effort to help police identify and rescue children from harm.

In the last year they have looked at five million pictures.

Google says the new tools will enable the centre's analysts to search their systems more quickly and easily as they try to sort and identify files that contain images of child sex abuse victims.

"The program uses pattern recognition and will work even if the pattern has been modified," explained technology analyst Larry Magid.

"So if police can identify a pattern such as a calendar on the wall or a t-shirt logo, they have a much better chance of finding the exploited child and catching the suspect."

Hi-tech solutions

The technology is an outgrowth of the anti-piracy software Google developed to helps its YouTube division ferret out videos of suspected of being posted without the agreement of copyright holders.

"Criminals are using cutting edge technology to commit their crimes of child sexual exploitation, and in fighting to solve those crimes and keep children safe, we must do the same," said NCMEC President and CEO Ernie Allen.

Google engineers and scientists were able to work on the project on what the company calls "20% time", which allows all employees to dedicate that amount of time to projects they initiate.

Some of those projects benefit stockholders or end users, but in this case the benefit could be to thousands of children.

Signs your spouse is having an affair

2008-04-15T00:13:00.000-07:00

1. Lately she sits at the computer naked.

2. After signing off, she always has a cigarette.

3. The giant rubber inflatable disk drive.

4. In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up.

5. She’s gotten amazingly good at typing one handed.

6. She makes sarcastic remarks about your “software”.

7. Lipstick on the mouse.

8. During sex she screams “A-colon backslash enter insert!”

9. The jam in the laser printer is a pair of panties.

10.The fax file is filled with pictures of some guy’s behind

Five advice on spicing up your sex life

2008-04-09T11:13:00.000-07:00

A sex and relationship psychologist, Dr. Petra Boynton, is giving women five advice for better sex life.

1. Concentrate on quality rather than quantity. Celebrities are NOT having sex a bunch of time each day. Did you know that an average person make love once a week or less? Explore your erogenous zones, from your toes to your clitoris.

2. Life outside of the bedroom is the main reason why there might be a problem in the bedroom. Women with more time for relaxing have a much better sex life. Try to find time to relax.

3. Shortage of confidence is also a major reason why there might be a problem in your sex life. Work on your confidence and you will feel the urge to get intimate with your partner.

4. Many women are not sure what gets them “horny” or they know but are ashamed to tell their partners. By masturbating you can explore your own body and see what you like and then tell your partner.

5. Condoms are new/old sex toys. Their different tastes can make women exited.

The Man's Guide to Buying Women's Lingerie (by Roxanne Rhoads)

2008-04-06T00:53:00.001-07:00

No matter how adorable she looks in sweats or how comfortable she is in flannel pajamas or maybe she wears lingerie for you…but it’s the same stuff you’ve seen a hundred times, you are dying to see her in something a little more racy. Yeah she still gets you hot whatever she wears…or doesn’t wear; you are just craving something different.

So what do you do? Do you risk telling her you are bored with her choice of bedtime attire and risk hurting her feelings…or worse, making her angry? Or do you take matters into your own hands and go on a shopping trip?

Obviously you are going on a shopping trip. But where do you start? What should you buy? What size should you get?

First of all you have to envision the things your woman likes and wears so you can get an idea of what colors and styles she likes. For instance a woman who likes basic solid color clothing probably would not be thrilled if you brought home some funky animal print teddy. Nor would a woman who prefers bold and dark colors like blood red, purple, midnight blue, or black be very happy with some pale pink frou-frou nightie. A conservative woman might be a little embarrassed if you expected her to wear a short latex skirt and tube top.

But if she’s into latex, leather, bold animal prints and wilder, revealing clothing than by all means get her something risqué.

You also want to consider styles. You want to give her something that will make her feel beautiful and sexy not over exposed or self-conscious. Babydolls are a good choice because many body types look good in them. They are simultaneously sexy and flattering. Teddies and long classic gowns are also good choices.

If she’s a little more adventurous you might want to try a body stocking. They are very stretchy (you don’t have to worry about size, they are usually one size fits most) and somehow flatter most body styles and many men seem to find them extremely erotic. If you are not sure what a body stocking is, look it up online, and find one on a woman, not a mannequin or just a shot of the body stocking. You’ll want the full affect. Trust me.

The most important thing you need to know though is what size she wears. Nothing can upset a woman and kill the mood faster than the wrong size. If it is too big she’ll think that you think she’s fat. If it is too small one part of her will be flattered that you were thinking she is smaller than she is but the other part of her will be pissed because you’re a moron and you got her the wrong size and now she can’t wear it for you.

Never guess when it comes to sizes. If you don’t have a clue you need to find out. The easiest though not so subtle way will be to come out and ask her. If you want the lingerie to be a surprise this is probably not the way to go because if she is like many women one simple question will lead to an interrogation of why you need to know what size she wears. You could always ask her sister, mother, or best friend if you are close enough and open enough about matters like that. I know when my husband wanted to get me lingerie he called my best friend because he was completely clueless as to what size to get.

The next best thing is to sneak into her underwear drawer and scout out the size tags on her most intimate attire. Hopefully she’s not obsessed with removing the tags from everything. Look for sizes on her underwear usually a number like 5, 7, 8 and so one. Some may just say S, M, or L for small, medium and large. Scout out a few pair to get a good idea if there are various sizes in the drawer. Also make sure you are looking at something you have seen her wear recently. Ladies tend to hold onto lots of clothing, even something that has gotten too small because they plan to lose weight and get back into it. You will also want a bra size -these magic codes are usually a number and a letter like 36 B or 38 D.

If she has any other lingerie in the drawer or closet like teddies, nightgowns, and what not try to find sizes on those as well. Those are the golden numbers if you plan to get her something in a similar style.

Now that you have her sizes write everything down so you don’t forget.

What’s next? You get to shop, but where? There are so many lingerie and adult stores on the Web it is unreal. You are bound to get bogged down and overwhelmed by all the choices and selections. Plus you won’t get personalized service or have the experience of being able to touch the fabrics. Being able to feel the fabric of lingerie is a great thing.

The Web can be a great place to get ideas but if you want to get this right shopping in a store with trained sales staff to help you make a good selection may be a better choice. These ladies are often skilled at picking out something that would be absolutely perfect. Believe me when it comes to lingerie you may need another woman’s help.

There is always Victoria Secret. There is one in most shopping malls. Victoria’s Secret might not exactly be your choice or even her style. Most department stores have lingerie sections with very helpful staff that can help you find something just right.

Do you want something a little sexier than the gowns and teddies available in regular department stores? How about Frederick’s of Hollywood or Lover’s Lane? They both carry a wide variety of lingerie from simple and sexy gowns to exotic costumes, dance wear, corsets and thongs even sexy stockings, shoes, and boots. Lover’s Lane also carries massage oils, lotions, lubricants and items for couples if you are considering including some accessories in the mix. (I would never recommend giving a woman a sex toy as a gift though, that’s a can of worms you might not want to open unless you are absolutely sure she’s into that type of thing).

So you’ve scrolled through the sites online and found some things that may rock your world but you are convinced she’d never wear them. You’ve taken trips to several stores and didn’t find anything that really stood out or else there was so much to choose from you became completely overwhelmed and scared you were going to buy the wrong thing.

I’d say trust your gut and go for it, just buy her something and get it gift wrapped nice and pretty. Women love pretty packages.

If you still can’t bring yourself to purchasing something the next best thing is to buy her some other type of gift, then take her on a “surprise” shopping trip to a lingerie store and the two of you can pick out something sexy together. This might even be the better choice because she’ll let you know what she’d wear and what she likes so there is no way you’ll get the wrong thing. Plus you might even want to pick out some other fun stuff while you are there. Shopping together could really add some spice to your love life.

Oh and be sure to take mental notes while you’re there so the next time you want to buy her something kinky you’ll have a much better idea of what she’ll wear and what size to get it in.

© 2008 Roxanne Rhoads

Roxanne Rhoads is a freelance writer, erotica author, poet, and editor She writes everything from articles to web content. She is interested in all things sexual so her writing focuses mainly on topics involving sex including; erotic fiction and poetry, how to articles, product reviews, female sexuality, and female sexual rights. A sexual connoisseur and creature of the night, She is an outwardly quiet person who best expresses herself with the written word. If she wants you to know or believe something about her it will appear in her writing. A lady must always have secrets and she guards hers closely. A voyeur at heart she lurks in the shadows learning the secrets of others while she remains a mystery.

Roxanne's writing has appeared in Playgirl Magazine, on Tit-elation.com, JustusRoux.com, Oysters and Chocolate (Online) and The Erotic Woman (Online). You can learn more about her at Roxanne's Realm, My Space and her group for erotica readers and writers, Erotica Lovers.

Penetrative Sex: Less Is More

2008-04-03T11:19:00.000-07:00

According to North American sex therapists, satisfactory sexual intercourse for couples lasts from just 3 to 13 minutes, contrary to the popular fantasy about good lovemaking requiring hours of sexual activity. Penn State researchers Eric Corty and Jenay Guardiani based this finding on a survey of members of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, which includes psychologists, physicians and marriage therapists.

The therapists rated a range of time intervals for sexual intercourse, from penetration of the vagina by the penis until ejaculation, that they considered adequate, desirable, too short and too long. The therapists' responses revealed the following ranges of intercourse activity times:

* Too short - 1-2 minutes
* Adequate - 3-7 minutes
* Desirable - 7-13 minutes
* Too long - 10-30 minutes

"Unfortunately, today's popular culture has reinforced stereotypes about sexual activity. Many men and women seem to believe the fantasy model of large penises, rock-hard erections and all-night-long intercourse," the researchers reported in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Interestingly, past research had found that a large percentage of men and women wanted sex to last 30 minutes or longer. "This seems a situation ripe for disappointment and dissatisfaction," said lead author Corty. "With this survey, we hope to dispel such fantasies and encourage men and women with realistic data about acceptable sexual intercourse, thus preventing sexual disappointments and dysfunctions."

The survey also has implications for the treatment of people with existing sexual problems. "If a patient is concerned about how long intercourse should last, these data can help shift the patient away from a concern about physical disorders and to be initially treated with counseling, instead of medicine," Corty said.

Flirtatious females confuse men : As per the new study

2008-04-01T02:22:00.000-07:00

The flutter of eyelashes, the sparkling smile, the chuckle after a lame joke - nothing will help you entice the attention of the man you desire, not because you're doing it wrongly, but because your male interest can't understand the signals.

According to a new research, men are blind to the subtle seduction techniques of the opposite sex.

The study suggests that apart from pouncing on the object of her lust, a woman's non-verbal signals of sexual interest often prove sadly lost on the young male brain.

In the study of nearly 300 undergraduates of both sexes, researchers at Indiana University tested students' abilities to spot a come-on.

The students were asked to view images of women and categorise them as friendly, sexually interested, sad or rejecting.

Each undergraduate reported on 280 photographs, which had been sorted into the four categories based on surveys by different groups of students.

Male students scored worse for accuracy than females - and they were particularly confused by amiability and amorousness. The men commonly mistook women's sexual signals as merely friendly and were prone to see friendliness as a blatant advance.

According to the researchers, rather than going through life thinking, "She wants me", men often find themselves trying to navigate a foreign world of social signals without a phrasebook.

"Women are fluent in body language, men just have the gift of the grab," the Telegraph quoted Kathy Lette, the best-selling author, as saying.

"It is really confusing for women. The average bloke either doesn't realise that we fancy them until we are giving birth to their children in the labour ward; or he presumes all women fancy him all the time.

"God was playing some kind of prank when he developed two sexes," she added.

But the research does not mean that women might as well ditch the lipstick. Not all flirting gets lost in translation.

"These are average differences. Some men are very skilled in reading clues," said Coreen Ferris, the lead researcher.

The study is published in Psychological Science.

It is Proven: Men See Six Time Worse Than Women

2008-03-30T00:52:00.000-07:00

He: Where’s the butter?
She: In the fridge.
He: I’m looking exactly here and there’s no butter.
She: It IS there, I put it to the fridge only ten minutes ago!
He: No, you must have stuck it somewhere else. There’s NO butter in this fridge!

For many this dialog will appear familiar. After these words She strides to the kitchen, pulls the fridge door and like with a wave of a wand takes out the butter-dish. Inexperienced men find it a mean trick and blame women for hiding things from them. Keys, underwear, socks, shoes – this all is here, men just can’t find it! But why can’t they?

The answer is hidden in our history. Very long time ago, when our forefathers lived in caves and had a warm in the fire in the evenings, men had to leave every day and hunt for food for the family. In order to see and follow the goal far off, the hunter needed the ability to see for long distances, everything else was set aside and did not draw away. And Clever Nature took care of men already in those ancient times. The field of the vision of the vast majority of men was formed like a tunnel: a man can see a plenty tight space, but far – and exactly this provides him the ability of hunting a distanced object.

In her turn a woman of those days stayed at home, took care of children and household and needed to have in view everything around in case of danger or threat to her descendants. That’s why the Nature programmed her in such a way, that if she looks at one object, she can also see everything around it within a radius of almost 180 degree. This explains the fact that she can find a thing in the fridge or wardrobe much easier than a man, who has only about a 30 degree vision radius.

What he sees: “Tunnel-like” eyesight of men (30 degree radius)

What she sees: “Broad” eyesight of women (180 degree radius)

And this is why a man needs to turn his head right-left and up and down to find the “vanished” object. An average woman needs only to take a look at the open fridge to have the full sight of everything there and to find the object in seconds.

By the way, the men’s habit to gaze after beautiful women, which as often as not irritates and offends wives and girlfriends, is connected with these very particularities of men’s and women’s eyesight. In reality this doesn’t mean women don’t gaze after the nice men nearby – they also commit this sin, they just don’t need to turn head or focus the eyesight at the object.

Is It Fantasy We Seek, Or Is It Love?

2008-03-25T11:19:00.000-07:00

For many of us, love begins with deep passion, romance, and hot steamy sex. This is what I call the first stage of love, the euphoric stage. You are together all the time, love everything about each other, see no faults in one another, and cannot seem to keep your hands off each other. As time goes by, you get to know one another. The party manners disappear, and you begin to see that your loved one is not so perfect, after all. This is the point where, if you are expecting perfection in another person, you will become disenchanted, and the relationship will end. You cannot expect perfection in anyone, including yourself. If you do, you are living your life in fantasy, and always will be disappointed.

Contemplate this for a moment: you have just met the person of your dreams. You are attracted to this person physically; he or she has a great sense of humor, is affectionate, romantic, and a fabulous lover. Your new partner does all the right things, pushes all the right buttons, and you have -- and I hate this phrase -- fallen head over heels in love. One day, your perfect, remarkable partner begins to irritate you. You may discover that this person is a slob. All of a sudden, you cannot stand being in his or her place because it's such a pig pen. One day you notice that your once-flawless love, who has run out of clean underwear, goes to the laundry hamper to retrieve a slightly less soiled pair. You go into the bathroom to find it flooded with water from the shower, his razor stubble, or her make-up and toothpaste, lining the sink. To top it all off, if it is a man in question, he left the lid up or did not flush the toilet. So do you dump this person? Based on my experiences in life, I do not think you should.

This is an extreme example, but it could happen. Love will reach a stage where you will begin to notice your partner's shortcomings -- things that you may have overlooked before. So what do you do? Do you give up? Relationships end for many at this point, because the fantasy has been shattered. He or she is not that perfect, after all. When you come to this point, you have graduated to the next stage of relationship. It's a challenge, an invitation, to achieve a new level of intimacy with your partner. Many of us choose, at this point, not to communicate our needs or feelings, but rather to detour into anger. Out of fear, some of us repress our feelings. In many cases, we just plain run as fast as we can. These are all just normal human reactions, when faced with this awakening. Should you choose to be angry, or if you choose to repress your feelings or to run, you are missing the opportunity to rise to the next level of intimacy.

Euphoric love ends for a reason: it is a time when your brain starts having more input than your hormones. When euphoric love ends, you have come to a stage in the relationship where you are thinking seriously about a future with your partner. Questions come to mind, such as: "Can I live with this person, the way he/she is right now?"; "Would I want to have children with this person?"; "Do I want to share the rest of my life with this person?" These are big questions, and they tend to elicit fear. The fear is totally normal, but it catches many of us off guard. Many of us take this fear as a sign that the relationship is not meant to be. In reality, this fear is a reflection of how important your relationship is becoming. When we start to consider a future that includes our partner, we tend to look at them more critically. While this is natural, it's important not to forget the positives that brought you together in the first place. Celebrate this stage in your relationship: it's a sign of growth, a love relationship on the rise. Remember, the art of loving is a lifelong commitment. It is the further development of learning to love ourselves, our partner, and all those around us.

If you and your partner decide to commit to the further development of your relationship, you need to know that this is when the real work begins. Love cannot sustain itself. As Erich Fromm wrote in The Art of Loving, published in 1956, "The art of loving is like any craft. It requires patience, confidence, discipline, concentration, faith, and practice daily." These are words to remember. Relationships change continually. As relationships grow, the level of commitment increases and the love matures. Mature love does not occur overnight. It develops over time, and requires that you give of yourself. Examine your priorities: it all starts with loving yourself first, then loving your partner, and, finally, loving your family. Mature, committed love is the most powerful experience imaginable. It is the foundation of your relationship; without it, there really is no relationship.

10 Husbands, still a virgin

2008-03-22T05:26:00.000-07:00

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”

“What?” said the puzzled groom.

“How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”

“Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!”

“Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?”

“You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!”

Shocking: 1 1/2 year old infant raped by servant in Lucknow

2008-03-15T01:06:00.000-07:00

LUCKNOW: In a horrifying incident reported in the state capital, a one-and-a half-year-old girl was raped by her servant.

The incident was reported in Gomtinagar police circle on Thursday. According to the police the incident came to light when the victim's mother Anita Sharma, a resident of Vivek Khand in Gomtinagar area, lodged an FIR against her servant Narendra Mishra alleging that he raped her daughter.

The complainant owns a general store in the same area, where Mishra, a resident of Vishal Khand, worked as a servant.

Talking to TOI, circle officer of Gomtinagar police circle, Shubhas Chandra Dubey said "Narendra who is a neighbour of the victim was also working as a servant in the shop which was owned by the victim's family."
The police while talking to the media persons also said that on Thursday when the victim's parents were busy Mishra took advantage of the situation and on finding the girl alone Mishra took her with him in the park nearby and raped her.

Dubey also said that the incident would not have come to light had the victim's parents not noticed the girl crying in pain after the incident. Dubey while committing the crime pressed the mouth of the girl so that her cries could not be heard.

It was around 8:30 in the evening on Thursday when Anita could actually figure out what had happened. After the incident, Anita rushed to the police station and lodged the report against Mishra.

Later Mishra was arrested. According to the police Mishra admitted to his crime and was sent to jail under Section 376. However, the medical report of the victim was awaited.

Who's a man's Miss Perfect?!!

2008-03-14T11:36:00.000-07:00

London, March 13 : Ever wondered what really makes the perfect woman? Well, according to a new poll, a man's ideal woman is blonde, beautiful, brilliant in bed, and one who loves sport.

More than 66,000 men voted in the poll for ukdating.com, which resulted in the creation of the perfect woman, who can be dubbed as a cross between the Bionic Woman and Mother Teresa.

The most important attribute for those polled was blue eyes, followed by blonde hair.

The third most attractive characteristic in a woman was her occasional appearance wearing spectacles.

The poll also showed that for men, the perfect mate would weigh nine-and-a-half stone, stand at around 5ft 8in and be a curvy size 12.

Most men voted for women earning between 10,000-25,000 pounds a year, working in either nursing or PR.

The poll also revealed that men preferred women who live on their own, have a wacky personality, and are 'good in bed.'

The ideal woman should also have her own car, the favoured makes being a Ford Ka or a Mazda MX5 and enjoy regular trips to nightclubs, pubs and restaurants.

It is also important that she loves pets, is a non-smoker, and only drinks alcohol occasionally, the poll showed.

"While the old adage 'Gentlemen prefer Blondes' still holds true today, it's interesting to note that in this world of size zeros and calorie counting, men are more interested in height than weight, and prefer a medium build girl to a skinny girl," The Sun quoted David Brown, managing director of www.ukdating.com, as saying.

"This research just goes to show that men are as selective with their choice of date as women are, and know exactly what they want," he added.

99 Words For Boobs

2008-03-12T23:18:00.000-07:00

http://view.break.com/462486 - Watch more free videos

Nice Video & No Extreme Porn, Funny.

Ten worst countries for women

2008-03-12T06:04:00.000-07:00

In spite of real progress around the globe, the bedrock problems that have dogged women for centuries remain

Olivia Ward

Foreign Affairs Reporter

The image of the 21st century woman is confident, prosperous, glowing with health and beauty.

But for many of the 3.3 billion female occupants of our planet, the perks of the cyber age never arrived. As International Women's Day is celebrated today, they continue to feel the age-old lash of violence, repression, isolation, enforced ignorance and discrimination.

"These things are universal," says Taina Bien-Aime, executive director of New York-based Equality Now. "There is not one single country where women can feel absolutely safe."

In spite of real progress in women's rights around the globe – better laws, political participation, education and income – the bedrock problems that have dogged women for centuries remain. Even in wealthy countries, there are pockets of private pain where women are unprotected and under attack.

Some countries, often the poorest and most conflict-ridden, have a level of violence that makes life unbearable for women. Richer ones may burden them with repressive laws, or sweep the problems of the least advantaged under the carpet. In any country, refugee women are among the most vulnerable.

So widespread are the disadvantages that it's hard to pinpoint the worst places in the world for women. Some surveys rate their problems by quality of life, others by health indicators. Human rights groups point to countries where violations are so severe that even murder is routine.

Literacy is one of the best indicators of women's status in their countries. But Amnesty International Canada's women's rights campaigner Cheryl Hotchkiss says building schools alone doesn't solve the problem of equal education.

"There's a huge range of barriers women face to getting an education," she says. "It may be free and available, but parents won't send their daughters out to school if they can be kidnapped and raped."

Health is another key indicator, including the care of pregnant women, who are sometimes forced into disastrous early marriage and childbearing, as well as infection with HIV/AIDS. But again, statistics fail to show the whole, complex story.

"On a rural lake in Zambia, I met a woman who had not told her husband she was HIV-positive," says David Morley, CEO of Save the Children Canada. "She was already living on the edge because she had no children. If she told him, she would be kicked off the island and sent alone to the mainland. She felt she had no choice, because she had no power at all."

Putting power in women's hands is the biggest challenge for improving their lives in every country, advocates agree. Whether in the poorest countries of Africa, or the most repressive of the Middle East or Asia, lack of control over their own destinies blights women's lives from early childhood.

Here are 10 of the worst countries in the world to be a woman today:

• Afghanistan: The average Afghan girl will live to only 45 – one year less than an Afghan male. After three decades of war and religion-based repression, an overwhelming number of women are illiterate. More than half of all brides are under 16, and one woman dies in childbirth every half hour. Domestic violence is so common that 87 per cent of women admit to experiencing it. But more than one million widows are on the streets, often forced into prostitution. Afghanistan is the only country in which the female suicide rate is higher than that of males.

• Democratic Republic of Congo: In the eastern DRC, a war that claimed more than 3 million lives has ignited again, with women on the front line. Rapes are so brutal and systematic that UN investigators have called them unprecedented. Many victims die; others are infected with HIV and left to look after children alone. Foraging for food and water exposes women to yet more violence. Without money, transport or connections, they have no way of escape.

• Iraq: The U.S.-led invasion to "liberate" Iraq from Saddam Hussein has imprisoned women in an inferno of sectarian violence that targets women and girls. The literacy rate, once the highest in the Arab world, is now among the lowest as families fear risking kidnapping and rape by sending girls to school. Women who once went out to work stay home. Meanwhile, more than 1 million women have been displaced from their homes, and millions more are unable to earn enough to eat.

• Nepal: Early marriage and childbirth exhaust the country's malnourished women, and one in 24 will die in pregnancy or childbirth. Daughters who aren't married off may be sold to traffickers before they reach their teens. Widows face extreme abuse and discrimination if they're labelled bokshi, meaning witches. A low-level civil war between government and Maoist rebels has forced rural women into guerrilla groups.

• Sudan: While Sudanese women have made strides under reformed laws, the plight of those in Darfur, in western Sudan, has worsened. Abduction, rape or forced displacement have destroyed more than 1 million women's lives since 2003. The janjaweed militias have used systematic rape as a demographic weapon, but access to justice is almost impossible for the female victims of violence.

• Other countries in which women's lives are significantly worse than men's include Guatemala, where an impoverished female underclass faces domestic violence, rape and the second-highest rate of HIV/AIDS after sub-Saharan Africa. An epidemic of gruesome unsolved murders has left hundreds of women dead, some of their bodies left with hate messages.

In Mali, one of the world's poorest countries, few women escape the torture of genital mutilation, many are forced into early marriages, and one in 10 dies in pregnancy or childbirth.

In the tribal border areas of Pakistan, women are gang-raped as punishment for men's crimes. But honour killing is more widespread, and a renewed wave of religious extremism is targeting female politicians, human rights workers and lawyers.

In oil-rich Saudi Arabia, women are treated as lifelong dependents, under the guardianship of a male relative. Deprived of the right to drive a car or mix with men publicly, they are confined to strictly segregated lives on pain of severe punishment.

In the Somali capital, Mogadishu, a vicious civil war has put women, who were the traditional mainstay of the family, under attack. In a society that has broken down, women are exposed daily to rape, dangerously poor health care for pregnancy, and attack by armed gangs.

"While the potential of women is recognized at the international level," says World Health Organization director-general Margaret Chan, "this potential will not be realized until conditions improve – often dramatically – in countries and communities. Too many complex factors, often rooted in social and cultural norms, continue to hinder the ability of women and girls to achieve their potential and benefit from social advances."

Think Masturbation is Wrong? Here's The REAL Truth.

2008-03-11T02:24:00.000-07:00

By Christ Pro Erotic

This is how messed up my understanding of faith and sexuality was as a believer in Jesus. In order to show myself worthy and approved, in order to make sure I can present myself pure before God, self-love was not an option for a believer because it was seen as a sin against God.

Masturbation means I see something (or someone) to cause my loins to stir and thus touch myself; this means I violated the "fornication" code of having sex outside of marriage and violating God’s plan for me.

The message against masturbation

I can’t remember if I became a believer first, masturbated first, or both, but I think after reading some Christian books and hearing teachers from the pulpit come heavy against sexual issues I got the message very clear. If you are to a believer of honor, then you are to keep yourself sexually pure till marriage.

I tried not to touch myself down there. Not to masturbate or think of pleasing myself because it’s evil, of course. My will power (unfortunately) was like one Cosmo Kramer who was the first to loose "the Contest" against Jerry, Elaine, and George on the Seinfield series.

Then again, that could be a good thing.

But is It really wrong?

You see after many tears, many times mentally and spiritually beating myself up, I soon realized maybe masturbation is not a bad thing after all. My human sexuality teacher recommended Betty Dodson’s book "Sex for One."

Man! Talk about an eye opening theory about the practice; she even had pictures and the whole nine yards.

But the thing that won me over to the "Touch Myself" club was a letter from a Pentecostal woman from Cincinnati, Ohio. She wrote how she felt guilty for years due to the church world she lives in, but because of the book it opened her eyes and mind. Now she knows God won’t shoot her down for touching herself.

"Well if she can do it and find inner peace, why not me?" I thought.

The truth about loving yourself

I realized a few things along the way to enjoy masturbation and keep things in perspective:

Many believers look at Onan as the reason why masturbation shouldn’t be part of a believer or non-believers life. If the passage in Genesis is looked at closely you can see it wasn’t masturbation in the sense of giving pleasure to ones self. God struck down Er because of his wickedness. After that happened, God asked Onan to fulfill the duty of his brother and continue the gene line by lying with his widow Tamar.

In what could be dubbed "the costliest money shot of all time" Onan "spilled his seed" so Er’s family line wouldn’t have an offspring. So Onan lost his life over the betrayal.

Tradition and retribution

Somehow tradition–or the fear of God’s retribution–latched on to this story as a way to keep many men (or women) from masturbation. So please, for the love of truth, stop blaming Onan as the one who messed up masturbation. Blame it all on tradition and for a wrong-headed approach to understanding to what self-love is all about.

The real truth

All the myths about masturbation–blindness, hairy palms, madness, neurotic disorder, etc.—are not true. Next!

We all masturbate throughout our lives. From the time we are babies till we are old and gray, masturbation is one of those things that makes us human. To deny it is both comical and tragic at the same time.

Frequency of self-love ranges from several times a day to every other day to a few weeks to none at all (unless one suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder). But normally, you are fine if that’s all you do with yourself.

God will not condemn you for having a sexual thought let alone if you are touching yourself over a sexual thought. You might have problems if you are thinking about possessing someone you know doesn’t belong to you.

But if a person turns you on, or an image, or a sexual thought and you just have to express your normal desires you are feeling then enjoy the time with yourself.

Masturbation is good for you!

The health benefits are huge! You can find out what turns you on and causes orgasm to releasing some sexual tension by masturbation. Also, it helps with sexual dysfunction due to the inability to orgasm, prostate health for men, relieves menstrual cramps, eases headaches, causes one to sleep, and promotes well being with the chemicals released during orgasm. Hmm, the benefits outweigh the myths. Did I mention it’s the safest sexual practice of them all?

The last thing about masturbation we need to touch on as Christians is the guilt factor. Again, if you feel you have the freedom to enjoy this practice without any guilt whatsoever weighing on your mind then enjoy.

Too many times believe everything our preachers and teachers say instead of studying for ourselves–with scientific fact and research–whether a practice is beneficial or not.

The information we have today is very accurate as opposed to the myths we discussed earlier. I have come to realize I have more issues about dealing with the things coming from my heart than self-love. Let all the ravers and ranters from the pulpit scream all they want. Masturbation is as good of a time as one person can with themselves.

Not that there’s anything wrong with it.

(Note: Thanks to Betty Dodson.com for their info and pick up a copy of her landmark book Sex for One: the Joy of Self-Loving)

New study of 'French women are sexual predators'

2008-03-09T05:35:00.000-07:00

Men are from sex-crazed Mars while women are from soft and romantic Venus, it is often said. But a new study in France has debunked the myth.

Researchers have found that French women are becoming increasingly assertive in their sexual habits and they've more than twice as many partners now as they did in the 1970s while one in five younger men "manifests no interest in sex".

"Are women just like men?" asked the French Aids research agency, Le Nouvel Observateur, which has carried out the Study on Sexuality in France.

In fact, the researchers came to the conclusion after carrying out in-depth interviews with over 12,000 people of all ages during 2005-06, leading British newspaper The Daily Telegraph reported on Friday.

According to the study, one of the biggest changes in recent years was that male and female sexual behaviour had become increasingly similar.

The proportion of French women who had only one partner has dropped from 68 per cent in 1970 to 43 per cent in 1992 and 34 per cent in 2006 — while a woman's average number of partners has risen from under two in the 1970s to over five today, a man's has remained the same for 40 years, almost 13.

The researchers have also found that French women's first experience of sex is now almost as early as that of the opposite sex — in 1950 there was a two-year difference, but the gap has narrowed to four months, to around 17-and-a-half.

Meanwhile, more women are found to remain sexually active for longer than earlier — nine out of ten women over 50 are sexually active today, compared to just 50 per cent of that age group in the 1970s.

According to the study, young women are still educated to consider their entrance into sexuality as a sentimental relationship experience.

However, one of the more surprising findings was that one-in-five French men aged between 18 and 24 "has no interest in sex", while abstinence rates for men under 35 was twice as high as for women.

"The good old dichotomy is in big trouble," said Le Nouvel Observateur.

Crime against women highest in WB

2008-03-08T23:53:00.000-08:00

KOLKATA: The way Seema Sai murdered her two children is a chilling pointer to the rising crimes against women and girls in the state, say experts.

The latest report of the National Crime Records Bureau paints a grim picture of the state as far as crimes against women and girls are concerned.

In 2006, West Bengal recorded the highest number of cases of 'procuration of minor girls', which means seducing or forcing a girl into intercourse, under Section 366A of the Indian Penal Code (IPC).

The state has reported 77 such cases — a share of 33.3% at the national level — and is followed by Andhra Pradesh and Kerala. Among the cities Kolkata takes the top slot with 11 cases, comprising 68.8% of the countrywide city break-up of such cases.

Bengal accounts for an alarming 92.7% of the recorded cases of girls being bought or sold for sex trade. OF the 123 cases reported across the country in 2006, 114 were in the state. Kolkata is definitely not an 'oasis of peace' for the girl child. The city recorded six cases of girls sold into the sex trade.

This constituted 66.7% of the national average. No other city in India comes even close to Kolkata.

The figures indicate that Bengal has emerged as the major centre for trafficking. Despite several intervention programmes across the state, trafficking remains the biggest menace not only in the rural Bengal but even in Kolkata.

There was a silver lining in the report though. Bengal accounted for just 7.7% of the total number of crime against children in the country.

Social scientist Pradip Chattopadhyay said, "The strict enforcement of anti-sex determination laws has ensured that there are fewer cases of female foeticide in the state. Even then, giving birth to a girl child is still seen as a matter of shame, for which the mother suffers life-long trauma. Just imagine what goes on in the mind of the girl child when she starts understanding these things. The Belur incident is just an indication of the devastating fallout of such stigma."

10 Things That Scare Men

2008-03-07T23:49:00.000-08:00

A Girl Who LAUGHS Like a Witch! When you’ve got your hair standing on end, it’s not easy to think of anything below the neck.

GYMMING along with Arnold Schwarzenegger. We need a physique, not an ego meltd own.

Getting LAUGHED at by a bunch of girls while you’re trying to make eye contact.

Meeting a GIRL Who is Gorgeous looking, when you’re in slacks and a frayed tee at Barista to pick a coffee.

Men are Afraid of Women with Super Bodies. SCARLETT JOHANSSON tops that list in several polls.

Getting DUMPED before New Year’s! Who wants to listen to “I’m all out of love” and cry when the clock strikes twelve? Brutal!

KISSING your girlfriend’s best friend only to get caught later. Who could possibly have such bad luck? But hey, Murphy’s Law kicks ass at times, doesn’t it?

REALIZING that you aren’t able to keep it up while making love. Could there be anything worse, especially when you’re making out with a new girl, with a really big mouth?

REALIZING that you are not able to keep it up while doing the deed yourself! Stress could hold him down when you’re with her. But alone?! That’s just creepy. You need to coax the lil’ guy.

Getting CAUGHT in the ACT. You’re coaxing him, But when there’s your prick, your mom, your granny, your girl, or any combination of characters along with the first one, things can’t get worse than that.

Another Oscar Winner Scandal (No Naked Pictures Though)

2008-03-04T10:09:00.000-08:00

I have a feeling Marion Cotillard is not so happy with her newly-found worldwide fame right about now, and for good reason, too. It's always interesting to note how once an actor or an actress becomes famous, all their past and previously expressed opinions become a strange kind of public property. And yes, we have to admit it – we all enjoy a good celebrity scandal, particularly when it comes to silly, controversial or downright stupid statements made by the said celebrity in more or less any circumstances involving their personal or professional life.

Charlize Theron was convinced Budapest is the capital of Turkey, remember? Well, that did not spark an international controversy, but it still helps illustrate the kind of things I'm talking about. If only Marion Cotillard had stuck to confusing European capitals, misspelling or mispronouncing names! The French Oscar winner was interviewed by a French website about a year ago, and at the moment no one really cared about her views on American history. But since now she's all famous and everything, her statements were dug up and presented as new by a French magazine, which brought them to the attention of the international press.

In short, Marion seems to believe the September 11th attacks were a cover-up and there were no plane-hijacking terrorists to begin with. Her words echo a conspiracy theory that has been circulating over the Internet for a long time now – but they are also taken out of context and made to sound much worse than they were originally. Here's a sample. "I think we're lied to about a number of things. We see other towers of the same kind being hit by planes. Are they burned? There [sic] was a tower, I believe it was in Spain, which burnt for 24 hours. It never collapsed. None of these towers collapsed. And there [in New York], in a few minutes, the whole thing collapsed", she is quoted as saying.

The fact is, Marion was talking about watching an Internet documentary in which those exact claims are made. I tend to believe she was just sharing a personal opinion in an informal context, but you must see how appealing this sounds - "French Oscar winner has anti-American views". If Marion has made these statements in good faith, they would make the ultimate scoop, but as things are, I personally believe we're dealing with some (admittedly reckless) statements taken out of context. As I was saying, fame comes at a price – and Marion is slowly starting to pay it. So, my suggestion for her would be to clear up this controversy by releasing a statement explaining what she really meant when she made those statements, and then... well, less "on record" talk and she'll be just fine.

Low sex drive distresses older men

2008-03-04T00:33:00.001-08:00

Sydney, March 4: Unlike popular belief, not only the youth, but also older men with lower sex drives are likely to feel morose and depressed, according to a new study.

Depression affects between two and five percent of the population at any given time, the study said. Women are more likely to be depressed until the age of 65, when physical differences between the stronger and the weaker sex all but disappear. Studies suggest sex hormones might be responsible for this phenomenon.

Osvaldo P. Almeida of the University of Western Australia and his colleagues based their study on a survey of 3,987 men aged 71 to 89. Between 2001 and 2004, the men completed reported on their demographics and health history.

They underwent testing for depression and thinking, learning and memory difficulties. Information about physical health conditions was obtained from a short survey and an Australian health database.

Researchers also collected blood samples from the participants and recorded levels of total testosterone and free testosterone, which are not bound to proteins.

A total of 203 of the participants (5.1 per cent) met the criteria for depression. They had significantly lower total and free testosterone levels then men who were not depressed.

After controlling for other factors - education level, body mass index and cognitive scores - men in the lowest quintile (20 per cent) of free testosterone concentration had three times the odds of having depression compared to men in the highest quintile.

The mechanism by which low hormone levels might affect depression risk has not been identified, but might involve changes in the levels of neurotransmitters or hormones in the brain, the authors note.

Findings of the study have been published in the latest issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry.

Asian women faking virginity in Britain

2008-03-04T00:28:00.000-08:00

London, March 4: Some Asian women in Britain are going to great lengths to fake their virginity, driven to desperation by concepts of 'honour' in a community where myths about their first sexual experience is still widely held, an Asian radio station reported.

If found to have sex before marriage, the lives of some young Asian women can be at risk and they can be driven away from their homes, experts and community workers told the BBC Asian Network documentary 'Like a Virgin', broadcast Monday.

As a result, desperate young women are using fake blood and even going in for reconstructive surgery to fake their virginity, the investigative radio documentary reported.

In an echo of social attitudes held in many parts of the Indian subcontinent, the programme found that most of the 17 to 21 year old men interviewed in the region of West Midlands - home to a large number of Asians - preferred women to be virgins at marriage.

Concepts of 'izzat' - or honour - are strongly held among some conservative Asian communities in Britain and have been linked not only to the practice of forced marriage but also, in some cases, the murder of young women.

An adviser formerly with the national sexual health charity Brook said she personally received requests for information on faking virginity on a daily basis from young Asian women - and that she provided the information because she feared for the safety of these women.

She said: 'They would sometimes come in to the centre because they were concerned about the fact that maybe they had had unprotected sex with a boyfriend and they were concerned about whether other men would know they had had sex before and were not a virgin.

'The discussions would then go around some of the myths around virginity... that girls bleed on the first time of having sexual intercourse. So we were able to say, 'lots of girls don't'.

'The problem is that lots of men and lots of people within the (Asian) community believe that that is true, and therefore they (young women) are very concerned that they will get married and they won't bleed and their husband will believe they weren't a virgin at marriage and all the problems that that would cause them in life.'

She said women were using red dye and mock blood that can be bought from novelty shops that they inserted into their vaginas or spread on the bed sheet after having sex. One Pakistani woman said she knew someone who had used a bottle of red ink - and got away with it. 'Her mother-in-law was very happy,' said the woman.

Underlining the seriousness of the issue, the adviser said she agreed to provide information on how to fake virginity because 'for some young women the risks to them and their personal safety were so great that if they were not able to fake it then the consequences could have been dire.''

A community worker who works with young Asians in west London said some girls have had to flee their homes and go into shelter 'because their life is on the line. Somebody may have found out'.

Linda Cardozo, a gynaecologist at Kings College Hospital in London, said some desperate Asian women were seeking reconstructive hymen-repair surgery, but that it was 'quite difficult to achieve' the repair because there may not always be enough tissues to bring together.

In any case, there was no guarantee that the woman would bleed.

'The main aim of hymen repair is to bleed on wedding night, but of course there are many women who don't bleed on their wedding night, whether they are virgins or not.

'This is because the hymen may be very stretchy, they may have used tampons for menstruation, they may have had lot of exercise and subtle tissues and therefore there are many women who have their first intercourse without bleeding at all.

'So there's no guarantee these women will achieve the aim they set out to achieve,' the doctor added.

Although some 24 such repairs had been performed in the state health sector, the vast majority of such surgeries are thought to take place in the private sector, which each surgery costs between 1,500 and 2,000 pounds. ($3,000-4,000)

Alba was branded a 'slut' at school

2008-03-01T10:32:00.000-08:00

Jessica Alba was bullied and branded a "slut" at school after developing her ample bosom at a young age.

The actress claims the main perpetrators were classmates' mothers and her elementary school principal, who made her life misery.

Writing in If I'd Known Then - a forthcoming book of essays by female celebrities - Alba writes, "The accusation still ricochets. 'They think I'm a slut?'"

The pregnant star also hands out advice to troubled teens, urging them to practice safe sex: "Boys are awful. They are made of nothing but hormones until they are about 20 or 21. But it's fun to have a crush, but don't think it's forever. And use birth control and condoms, please."

As Burma's economy crumbles, prostitution lures young women

2008-02-29T23:41:00.000-08:00

RANGOON - Cherry and Kay Kay walk into room Number Two of a Rangoon karaoke bar, where a man waits alone for them on a brown leather sofa.

"Come on, girls. Sing, please," he says, as they flick the karaoke machine to a Burma folk song they hope he likes.

The scene may not be uncommon in many parts of Asia, but was until recently rare here in isolated Burma, where economic desperation is increasingly pushing young women into a sex trade that hides behind the facade of karaoke bars and massage parlours.

At the bars, known locally as KTVs for "karaoke television," young women in their late teens and early 20s entertain clients in private air-conditioned rooms furnished with sofas and karaoke equipment.

Waiters enter only when customers order food and drinks, or if the women ring a bell to alert the management that a client is getting out of hand.

You could be here

Workers at KTVs say sex is not necessarily on offer, but they add that in the private rooms boundaries can be vague.

"It's hard to control men in this kind of room," 22-year-old Kay Kay says.

"They are so wild when they get drunk. I need to hold both his hands to protect myself. Sometimes I need to ring the bell to call for help from the waiters," she says.

Customers vary from teenagers to adults. Sometimes they come with friends, occasionally even with family, to venues that blur the line between casual entertainment and brothels.

Cherry and Kay Kay are among 20 girls working in their KTV bar, located near Rangoon's landmark Shwedagon Pagoda, one of the Buddhist country's holiest shrines. Ostensibly they are hostesses, paid to keep customers company, encourage them to buy drinks, and to sing for them.

Prostitution is illegal in Burma, but it began to take root underground after the ruling junta abandoned socialism for a market economy in 1996.

Myanmar is one of the world's poorest countries, where even urban professionals scrape out a living on less than a dollar a day. Salaries for civil servants, for example, start at about 20,000 kyats (about $17.50) a month.

Many industries have been decimated by decades of economic mismanagement by the military, coupled with the effects of Western sanctions imposed over the regime's failure to make good on promises of democratic reforms.

Cherry says she decided to work in the karaoke bar after quitting her low-wage job at a garment factory.

The eldest daughter in her family, Cherry was taken out of school before she reached her teens so her family could afford to send her brothers to school.

She then started working in the factory, but quit after discovering that she could earn more in tips in one night at the karaoke bar than she earned in a month at her old job.

Cherry and Kay Kay say they both grew up in broken families, and have not told any of their relatives about their new jobs.

"I didn't tell my mom that I'm working at KTV. She thinks that I'm working as a sales girl in a supermarket," Cherry says.

Many of the girls working in Rangoon's KTV bars have come from Burma's impoverished countryside in search of better opportunities in the city.

The bar that employs Cherry and Kay Kay provides them with free room and board, and a base salary of 20,000 kyats, or about $17.50.

"The basic salary is similar to what I earned at the factory, but here we get tips from customers," Cherry says. "Sometimes we earn 30,000 kyats ($27.00) in one night just from the tips."

The women are not allowed to leave the bar before its 2 am closing time, and then they are driven back to the hostel.

In a nation that prides itself on the glories of its past and its literary culture, the growth of the entertainment industry has caused some public soul-searching.

One poet, who wrote about the trend in a poem called "Rangoon Nights," said poverty was not the only culprit driving young women to their after-hours jobs.

"As many of them are uneducated and don't value their life, so they eventually end up in this community," he said, speaking on condition of anonymity.

But Wine, who worked as a cashier in a music restaurant, said that even some professional women are turning to the nightlife for second jobs to help make ends meet.

"The girls working in our shop include schoolgirls, nurses who are available to work at night and university graduates," Wine said, adding that she started working at the restaurant after twice failing her high school graduation exam and being unable to find any other job.

"Many friends of mine work in KTVs or music pubs while also taking university correspondence courses," she said.

The stigma attached to the bar girls remains strong, and many parents would rather see their children join the millions of Myanmar migrants heading overseas to search for work.

"My youngest daughter wanted to work in a KTV bar. I did not allow her, because once she takes the step of working there, it becomes very easy for her to become a commercial sex worker. It's very hard to control," said Ei, a 59-year-old mother of two daughters.

Ei says that like many families here, hers is struggling to survive. But she would rather see her daughters try to find work overseas than let them work in a karaoke bar.

Cherry and Kay Kay say they are happy they make enough money to support their families without having to leave the country.

"I can support my family well. One of my brothers will graduate from university very soon," says Cherry.

"I don't need to work very hard like I did in the factory but you know customers treat us just as bar girls, they look down on us. The reputation of a bar girl is not so good in this community."

Study: Spanking May Lead to Sexual Problems Later

2008-02-29T06:20:00.000-08:00

A proposed Massachusetts law would outlaw corporal punishment, including spanking, even for parents disciplining their kids at home.

Children whose parents spank them or otherwise inflict physical punishment may be more likely to have sexual problems later, according to research to be presented Thursday to the American Psychological Association.

The analysis of four studies by Murray Straus, co-director of the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire-Durham, suggests that children whose parents spanked, slapped, hit or threw objects at them may have a greater chance of physically or verbally coercing a sexual partner, engaging in risky sexual behavior or engaging in masochistic sex, including sexual arousal by spanking.

"It increases the chances of sexual problems," though "it's not a one-to-one causation," Straus says.

Elizabeth Gershoff, an assistant professor of social work at the University of Michigan-Ann Arbor, who reviewed 80 years of spanking research in 2002 in the APA's Psychological Bulletin, says Straus' work appears to be the first to link spanking with sexual problems.

Gershoff says that though many children have been spanked (85 percent in one 2007 survey), problems may depend on how they process the spanking.

"They may internalize that to mean that in loving relationships sometimes there's pain or physical aggression," she says. Another possible lesson is that "whoever is stronger and has more power can overpower the other person and use physical aggression to control the other person's behavior."

But linking sexual problems with spanking is a "big leap," says human-sexuality researcher John DeLamater of the University of Wisconsin. "It's probably one of many elements that might contribute to sex problems or risky sex, but it's a long leap."

Most children who are spanked escape from long-term harm, says Straus, 81, a sociology professor who says he occasionally spanked his own children but later became a staunch critic of spanking. His work on violence in families is regarded as landmark research.

He is scheduled to present the studies today at the psychological association's Summit on Violence and Abuse in Relationships in Bethesda, Md. Three are yet unpublished; one has been submitted to a journal. He plans to include two in a book this year. The fourth was included in a 1994 book.

The two most recent studies examine sexual coercion and risky practices among 14,252 college students between 2001 and 2006. The third study, of 440 high school students from New Hampshire, examined risky sex, such as premarital sex without a condom. The fourth study, of 207 students from the Northeast, focused on masochistic sex.

In each case, Straus found that those who had experienced corporal punishment had increased probability of coercing sex, risky sex or masochistic sex.

The literature on effectiveness of spanking to correct behavior is still "very mixed," says Robert Larzelere of Oklahoma State University, who has studied parents' disciplinary methods.

"Like any discipline tactic, it depends on how it's used," he says.

Quebec woman dies during kinky sex: police

2008-02-27T23:42:00.000-08:00

A Quebec man may face criminal charges after a woman died while they were having sadomasochistic sex.

The 39-year-old woman died Saturday night in a home in Saint-Bruno-de-Montarville on Montreal's South Shore, police said.

She went into cardiac arrest while engaging in "out of the ordinary" sexual practices using "very particular" accessories, said Longueuil police agent Martin Simard.

When police arrived at the residence on Sommet-Trinité Street, the man was trying to resuscitate the woman, but she died, Simard said.

Police say they found torture devices in the homes, but would not give specifics.

The man was arrested and questioned but released without charge, police said.

Investigators are waiting for the autopsy report to determine if he'll be charged with criminal negligence causing death.

Consumerism And Sex

2008-02-26T07:07:00.000-08:00

It is shocking to see the number of advertisements floating around these days which portray women as desired objects and man as consumer, directly or in-directly. According to these advertisements the Man is the hunter, woman the hunted. Man the voyeur, woman the victim. At times some of these women advertisements are so over the top, that it makes it hard for the whole family to sit together and watch television. And sadly, there is no one to question the present market-and-media ethics that turns women’s bodies into consumer objects?

Consumerism talks about manipulating people’s desires. It’s basic and founding ideology is that one should be able to acquire all one wants. In other words, desired objects become commodities - available to the highest bidder. Bodies (commodities) are for sale, in “representation” and in “reality”. Modelling, be it nude or semi-nude is not considered a big deal in today’s society. It is considered as one of the few ways for women qua women to make money. Male desire is aroused by this display of titillating female bodies. This results in passive viewing to active buying. And this is where Consumerism meets Sexism. This however is not where the relationship ends; it at times further leads to “Sexual Violence”.

Bodies advertised on television - or others like them - are available in the real marketplace. Therefore today “Sex work” is a fast-growing service industry, in India and abroad. Sex all over the world is still considered to be labour for women and pleasure for men. Obviously there is something not quite natural about the explanation of sexuality if it is a commodity on sale like any other.

Women are learning to wear less and less in order to be appreciated. Bollywood actress Mallika Sherawat claims that exhibiting her physical assets was the only way an ordinary woman like herself could make it in glamorous Bollywood. On the other hand, high-circulation daily newspapers discuss the ‘oomph factor’ and present ‘mirchi meters’ comparing various ’sizzling’ females (Mandira Bedi during the Cricket World Cup matches & Ashwariya Rai during her visit to Cannes Film Festival). Images of nude women, vulnerable and seductive, are doing the rounds on computer, television and cinema screens, mobile phones (MMS controversies). Tell me, are we returning to the time when slave traders would make a woman open her mouth to count the number of teeth she had, and feel her muscles to ensure she could do the work? Today many Indian women make a beeline towards cosmetic surgery to sculpt their figures and faces into desirable shapes and contours. Why is that even today, the privileged male gaze still seems to determine and dictate ideal female form, image and behaviour.

Former US President Bill Clinton revealed in his biography My Life, that he did have an affair with Monica Lewinsky (which he had earlier conveniently denied). Having confessed, he excuses himself, dismissing it as a mistake that should never have happened. His book sold like hot cakes, the media excused him and men at large were again reassured that they do not need to take responsibility for their own sexual behaviour. This makes me wonder are we still living in Patriarchy type of sociological conditions. Patriarchy has always allocated sexual rights to men and responsibilities to women. It’s simply sad and pathetic to see that this ethical code still exists, even among progressive and enlightened people.

Sex, Religion, and Hypocrisy - Will Embracing Your Sexuality Offend God?

2008-02-25T10:49:00.000-08:00

"The trouble with lies is it’s hard to forget where the real man hides."

–Gene Eugene, lead singer of Adam Again

I always admire people who are not afraid to come out in the light and live their life fearlessly. The Naked Cowboy in Times Square playing his guitar and giving a smile in the busiest city in the world.

An exotic dancer at a Gentleman’s club showing off her skill, talent and her body knowing full well their relatives or friends could walk into the door at any time. They are honest and open about who they are and despite their inner fears they face it and deal with whatever the outcome.

Unfortunately, people of the Christian faith have a harder time dealing with being an honest people. Oh don’t get me wrong, their faith is strong and many don’t have a trouble getting dressed to head into church to worship God. But if there is any subject that causes even the truest of believer to cower into the corner its sex.

Sex keeps even the truest believer to find a good excuse to be somewhere else other than in the place where you are. Why? In many pulpits around the world it is taught that sex is wonderful when it is placed in the marital bed.

Sex outside of that (or any variance of “God’s design”) is an abomination in the eyes of God, so they say. Yet many a believer—myself included—find us in situations where we say one thing and do another.

This is the hypocrite’s tale. It is a tale of longing, wanting badly to be honest about what we are attracted to. Our love of everything sexual, and a desire to have a relationship where there are no secrets between our partners and ourselves is a dream that seems so far away.

Some in the church say that’s an oxymoron! I say this is not only attainable but something I think God supports in our lives. But if we are to get to that place of honesty there is one thing you and I need to say from the get go:

I LOVE SEX!

Say that three times to yourself or stand in the mirror and say it out loud. There, don’t you feel better now? I hope so. If we are to start on the road to honesty we need to say this to ourselves and admit we enjoy this great gift God created in us. So you like sex eh? Good. Now lets get down to the next phase of an honest life.

Here is a revelation that is going to shock the socks off of you. Baring any sexual abuse to children, animals, an adulterous affair, or other adults who are forced upon sexually you can enjoy pretty much anything else provided it doesn’t offend your conscious or the conscious of anyone else. God has given you the freedom to enjoy the wide range of sexuality. From masturbation to even (dare I say it) inviting others into your bedroom you don’t have to act in the shadows again.

I thought so too because for many years I lived in the shadows sexually gorging on anything erotic to whet my appetite while in public I denounced these very acts as wicked and wrong. The best way to describe it is like you gorge on mounds and mounds of sexual material and experiences as if you never had sex before.

Then you get so stuffed (sexually speaking) you go to church or to your own home and regurgitate all those experiences with promises of “I’ll be a better Christian Lord if you’ll help me never to do this again”. You’re then caught in a vicious cycle of craving for sex, getting filled behind the backs of everyone, regret, repenting and re-repenting to never do it again.

Sit back and look at what’s going on here. You are letting this cycle take control of you and one day it will destroy all the things that is good within your life.

Relationships with spouses, boyfriends and girlfriends are ruined because you can’t bring yourself to the truth you like sex. Take it from me you don’t have to beat yourself up for having a sexual thought.

Break the cycle. Learn to accept yourself not just as a spiritual being but also as a sexual one too with needs for intimacy and love. Accept yourself not as evil for touching yourself, for seeing bodies entwined in passion, or enjoying entwining yourself but as a normal person of God. Paul said it best in Romans: “Therefore do not let what is for you a good thing be spoken of as evil.” (Rom 14: 15).

Today is the day to stop living in the shadows and start living an honest life. It is sad the rest of the church is more worried about sex toys or whether a child sees a nipple and not enough time encouraging fellow sisters and brothers to enjoy their God given right to sex.

Determine today that this will be the time in your life you don’t have to be crushed by guilt and manufactured fear (fed by tradition and misinformation) and find out how much of sexuality you really can enjoy.

Harassed in India: Women face an uphill battle in a culture that devalues females

2008-02-24T10:33:00.000-08:00

In its global campaign to attract foreign tourists, India's "Incredible India" ads feature a young woman enjoying her morning yoga session on a secluded beach.

In reality, what female tourists experience too often is this: persistent ogling and heckling by Indian men.

"At times I find it hard traveling around as a woman in Delhi. I've been groped twice in public," said Amanda Burrell, 36, a blue-eyed, blond-haired documentary filmmaker from England on vacation in India. "I think Indian women have it much worse."

If the Indian male ever had a reputation for being suave and sophisticated, that image has hit rock bottom. In recent weeks a spate of attacks against women and a new study showing rape as the fastest-growing crime in New Delhi are painting a less flattering picture.

In India, the fact that men are being held under such heightened scrutiny is a sign of changing social rules between men and women as the country modernizes.

While more and more Indian women move into the high-tech workforce or rise to key government posts in the new India, some analysts say many women appear to be losing the battle to overcome centuries-old cultural attitudes that tend to devalue the role of women and keep them dependent on men.

"Many of India's social values have not kept pace with the development of its modern cities," said Shaibal Gupta, a social analyst for the Asian Development Research Institute, a nongovernmental agency based in the northeastern Indian state of Bihar.

India's predominantly Hindu culture is skewed in favor of boys and men, say some social experts. In India's deep-rooted system of dowry, a bride's family pays the groom for marrying her - a custom that has been outlawed but only loosely enforced.

"Most Indian men don't have opportunities for intimate contact with women until their mid-20s," Gupta said. "For some of them, their only exposure to women in a sexual context has been in the virtual realms of Bollywood and Internet porn sites."

For many women in India, the result can be terrifying.

In an incident that rattled the country, dozens of young men taunted and groped two girls as they left a New Year's Eve party at a popular five-star hotel in Mumbai, formerly known as Bombay. An Indian newspaper photographer called the police and recorded the melee in a shocking series of photos that ran on the front page of almost every major newspaper in India, launching a flurry of editorials.

In a televised interview, the outraged chief of India's ministry for women and child development called for the death penalty for those convicted of rape.

There have been several high-profile assaults recently against foreign women in India. A British freelance journalist allegedly was raped by the owner of a guesthouse where she was staying in northern India. A 28-year-old American tourist was groped by a Hindu priest while visiting a temple in the northwestern Indian state of Rajasthan.

Several Western embassies have issued warnings on the dangers women often face in India.

"I get stared at, and sometimes men approach me and say things. But I've lived in India long enough that I've almost stopped paying attention to it," said Lauren Olsen, 16, a student at an American school in Delhi.

"It can be difficult being a girl here," she said.

Chinese police clamp as nude photos spread

2008-02-24T10:26:00.000-08:00

Chinese police have launched a nationwide online crackdown to delete pornographic pictures of several Hong Kong celebrities and pledged to close any Websites that published the raunchy photos.

The step is the latest in authorities' bid to control the spread of the photos, which show Hong Kong actor and singer Edison Chen and several female stars naked in bed and in sexual poses.

The scandal has created a media frenzy and heated discussions on BBS communities both in Hong Kong and on the mainland since late January.

Some Internet users shared the 800-plus pictures by e-mail or posting them on other Websites.

Police in Beijing warned that anyone found sending the pictures to friends, even for free, will be detained for a maximum of 15 days. Posting the photos online violates the Security Administration Punishment Law, the Legal Evening News reported yesterday.

Those who have sent more than 200 nude pictures via email, chat rooms and BBS will be investigated under criminal law, the police said.

The Beijing Internet News Information Review Council, initiated by the government-sponsored Beijing Association of Online Media, issued a statement on Monday rapped Baidu.com, the biggest Chinese search engine, for "behaving badly."

The association "severely criticizes Baidu's behavior" and demanded the company make a public apology for spreading the nude pictures.

In Hong Kong, up to 10 people were detained for spreading the photos.

And in the southern city of Shenzhen, police have apprehended 10 suspects for allegedly producing, selling and purchasing discs of the photos.

Three suspects were given five-day administrative detention, and two others were under criminal detention and still being quizzed by police.

Thirteen online portals on the mainland have issued a joint statement asking domestic Websites to boycott the nude photos. It urged Netizens and Website staff to be self-disciplined and halt the spread of the photos.

So far, more than 40 domestic Websites have rallied to support the joint statement.

Chen out of a job

Meanwhile, actor Edison Chen said he will fulfill existing commitments and then leave the Hong Kong entertainment industry indefinitely due to the nude photo scandal.

Pictures showing the 27-year-old, Canadian-born Chinese actor and singer posing in bed with numerous female celebrities - including singer Gillian Chung and actress Cecilia Cheung, Joey Yung and Bobo Chan -- recently hit the Internet, the Shanghai Daily reported Thursday.

"I'm sorry to those ladies and their families and most of all, I feel sorry for Hong Kong people," Chen said at a press conference. "These photos were very private and have not been shown to people and were never intended to be shown to anyone."

The Shanghai Daily said Chen explained he would honor some existing commitments, and then leave the entertainment industry "indefinitely."

He said he decided to do this "to give myself an opportunity to heal myself and to search my soul.

"I have failed as a role model. However I wish that this matter will teach everyone a lesson. I hope the scandal can be over as soon as possible and prevent more young people from further injuries," Chen said.

Women put face to HIV campaign

2008-02-24T10:22:00.000-08:00

AUCKLAND: Southland grandmother Jan Waddell has one wish she wants to die from old age and not the HIV retrovirus she got from a contaminated needle in Australia six years ago.

Until then the former nurse wants people to deal with their ignorance, learn about women with HIV, and get rid of their negative reaction and discrimination.

Mrs Waddell (59), who with her husband runs a small lifestyle block with alpacas, goats, sheep and chickens at Mataura, is one of the public faces of a campaign by Auckland HIV and Aids support group, Positive Women.

The campaign, launched in Auckland yesterday, wants to overcome the common but misguided impression that women with HIV are different and should be feared and avoided.

‘‘We are no different to anybody else and that’s the message we want to get across,’’ said Mrs Waddell.

She contracted HIV in Australia in 2002 in a one-in-amillion chance, when she pricked her thumb with a contaminated needle as she put it into a ‘‘sharps’’ container, which is used for sharp instruments and syringes.

She was confirmed as having HIV, or the human immunodeficiency virus, about three months later.

Without treatment, HIV can lead to Aids (acquired immune deficiency syndrome) and death. With modern treatment, HIV patients can live a long life, some without side effects from the drugs they must take.

Jane Bruning, Positive Women national co-ordinator, who first learned she had HIV 20 years ago, said HIV did not automatically lead to Aids.

‘‘Nowadays, there are such good medications and people are living 20, 30 years and more, so it is possible you may not die from HIV although you will have to take medications for most of your life.’’

She said HIV was not restricted to the gay community and recently the number of heterosexual people with HIV, particularly women, was growing.

By 2006, the number of women with HIV had passed the number of gay men with the disease.

For Mrs Waddell, living with HIV had been an emotional challenge but she coped with a lot of support from her family and friends.

She believes she will probably live out her life without contracting Aids, particularly with the huge advances in HIV medicines.

However, with the medicines come the side effects.

‘‘I have had so many side effects. In the last six years, I have been on four different combos because of side effects.

‘‘I have had muscle wasting, fatigue, nausea. I have had problems with my liver, kidney stones, insomnia, a whole lot of things.

‘‘I am doing pretty well at the moment and the top of my wish list is that old age will get me before Aids does.

‘‘The realities are pretty good.’’

She said modern medications were giving a quantity of life and a better quality of life was just around the corner.

‘‘It is not the death sentence it once was.’’

HIV also came with another side effect which Mrs Waddell and her husband decided on jointly: sex is no longer part of their life because HIV can be passed on through sexual contact.

‘‘My husband and I decided at the very early stages we would absolutely abstain from everything. We were quite comfortable with that in our married life and still are and that has never been a problem for us.’’

She concedes doing without sex could be a big issue for some couples where one had been diagnosed as HIV positive.

‘‘There is always that worry that something will go wrong the condom will fail.’’

For Mrs Waddell and her husband it was a personal choice but it also depended on the strength of their relationship and how understanding the partner was.

It could put a huge stress on relationships but for Mrs Waddell and her husband, it meant a stronger relationship.

‘‘We talked about it. There are other things that are more important to him.’’

She said her husband understood what HIV was and had been supportive and understanding.

Her advice to other couples facing an HIV crisis was to be honest with each other.

‘‘You have to sit down and talk to each other and be totally honest. You have to say if you are going to miss this sex then we have to make a decision.

‘‘But I think it would be very hard for them.’’

She also urged people to get all the support they could from friends and family and any specialist groups such as Positive Women, where they could talk freely and not worry about any stigma.

She said there was not enough education to overcome the ‘‘fear of the unknown’’ among people who did not know enough about HIV or Aids.

She said people did not want to come near her or touch her for fear of catching HIV.

Many also felt it was a disease restricted to the homosexual community.

‘‘There are so many people out there who still believe it is called the gay plague and it is just ridiculous people can be thinking like that in this day or age.’’

She said being part of a campaign which had never been undertaken in New Zealand, was a wonderful experience.

China to draw up HIV/AIDS prevention policy for gays

2008-02-20T09:31:00.000-08:00

Beijing, February 20: China will come up with a special HIV/AIDS prevention policy this year to combat the rising incidence of the infection in the gay population of the country, the ministry of health said here Wednesday.

The policy will incorporate detailed HIV/AIDS prevention measures for gays, including extending the use of condoms, according to the ministry's work plan for disease prevention and control in 2008.

China has decided to intensify its AIDS intervention campaign on gays by carrying out AIDS prevention training among the gay population nationwide as well as conducting consultation, HIV/AIDS tests, venereal disease treatment in some areas, the ministry said.

According to an appraisal report jointly prepared by the Ministry of Health, the World Health Organization (WHO) and UNAIDS, among the 700,000 people living with HIV/AIDS in China by the end of 2007, 40.6 percent contracted the virus through heterosexual transmission, 11.1 percent through same sex intercourse.

'Sex has become the main channel of contracting the HIV virus,' the report said.

China's health department estimated that the country has 5 million to 10 million gays. Most of them are in middle and large cities in China.

According to recent research on gays, prevalence of HIV/AIDS among this group in China is getting serious with the infection rate reaching 2.5 percent to 6.5 percent.

The Chinese government will expand its coverage of replacement therapy for drug addicts, using methadone, a synthesised narcotic, and continue to improve its policy of offering AIDS patients various free services, such as counselling, testing, anti-viral medicine and education for orphans of AIDS patients, the ministry said.

Clinics providing the therapy have been built in 503 communities in 23 provinces, autonomous regions and municipalities, figures from the Chinese Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) showed.

Humans married to pups, to ward off evil

2008-02-20T02:02:00.000-08:00

KULUPDANGA: Three boys and two girls were married to puppies in the superstition that it would ward off evil at this remote tribal-dominated village in Jharkhand's Saraikela-Kharswan district on Monday.

Salu Banra, the mother of one of the girls, 15-year-old Puspa, a student of class seven in a government school said, “this is a custom. We set the puppy free after the marriage.”

The upper tooth appearing in either a girl or a boy is considered inauspicious by the Ho tribe which lives in this village. “Marriage to puppies of the opposite gender gets rid of the evil,” said some of the other villagers.

They said that six marriages between puppies and boys and girls had taken place on Sunday.

The pup-human marriage takes place on only two days in a year - the second and third of the month of Maghe. Today was the third of Maghe.

Full grown dogs are not used in the marriages but puppies which are called 'pida panda' (one who drives away evil).

All rituals and customs of a tribal marriage takes place with a priest officiating and guests invited, entertained by songs and dances, the villagers told a PTI correspondent.

Dowry in cash is sought and given. The bride is also given new clothes to wear. Only in case of smearing of sindur (vermillion), it is applied not to the puppies or humans but to a tree known locally as 'renge banam'.

When contacted, SDO Dinesh Prasad said, “this is a tradition. As long as they don't disturb others, we don't interfere.”

An elderly woman belonging to the Ho community, Laxmi Kalundia, said such marriages also demonstrated the fondness for pets and nature.

“Only pet dogs are preferable in such marriages,” she said. The marriage to pups also did not hinder the real marriage in future, she said as husbands and wives accepted this as a part of tribal custom.

The 15-year-old bride said she was happy and hoped to lead a peaceful life free from evil.

Buxom Tattoo Implants Go Wrong

2008-02-19T10:20:00.000-08:00

Lane Jensen, an Edmonton tattoo artist, decided that in order to make his calf tattoo of a buxom woman more realistic, he would get silicone implants for it. You can guess for which part of the tattoo, I'm sure.

However, even in women, silicone implants don't always take. In this case, they didn't take either. His body rejected them.

According to Jensen, augmenting tattoos with implants is becoming more popular. As an artist, I'm sure he's always into the latest developments.

In this case 3-D might have been better achieved with 3-D glasses, I guess. You can see the tattoo above prior to the rejection. I'm sure you can make out the, er, shapeliness.

Iranian sisters face stoning for adultery

2008-02-16T09:41:00.000-08:00

Two Iranian sisters convicted of adultery face being stoned to death after the supreme court upheld the death sentences against them, the Etemad newspaper Monday quoted their lawyer as saying.

The two were found guilty of adultery -- a capital crime in Islamic Iran -- after the husband of one sister presented video evidence showing them in the company of other men while he was away.

"Branch 23 of the supreme court has confirmed the stoning sentence," said their lawyer, Jabbar Solati.

The penal court of Tehran province had already sentenced the sisters identified only as Zohreh, 27, and Azar (no age given) to stoning, the daily said.

Solati explained that the two sisters had initially been tried for "illegal relations" and received 99 lashes. However in a second trial they were convicted of "adultery."

The pair admitted they were in the video presented by the husband but argued that there was no adultery as none of the footage showed them engaged in a sexual act with other men.

"There is no legal evidence whereby the judge could have the knowledge for issuing a stoning sentence," Solati said, adding that he had appealed to the state prosecutor.

"The two sisters have been tried twice for one crime," Solati protested.

Under Iran's Islamic law adultery is theoretically punishable by stoning, although in late 2002 judiciary head Ayatollah Mahmoud Hashemi Shahroudi issued a writ suspending such executions.

However in July 2007, Jafar Kiani was stoned to death for adultery in a village in the northwestern province of Qazvin in a rare execution by stoning that provoked a wave of international outrage.

Capital offences in Iran include murder, rape, armed robbery, serious drug trafficking and adultery. Iran currently makes more use of the death penalty -- almost always by hanging -- than any other country apart from China.

Zohreh's husband -- who accused his wife and her sister in January 2007 of having extra-marital affairs -- had planted a camera in his house in a bid to catch them in the act.

"She did not treat me well and her actions made me feel she did not want to live with me any more," said the husband, who was not named.

"To make sure I planted a camera in the house... When I watched the tape two days after, I found out that she and her sister brought over men after I left and had relationships with them," he said.

Zohreh said she had an edgy relationship with her husband because of the strict limits he imposed on her life.

"I was a teacher and loved my job but my husband did not let me work... he was always suspicious of me and thought our differences were because I had an affair," she was quoted as saying by the daily.

"I do not approve the confessions that I made in the investigation phase and I deny what I said," she said.

Etemad reported that the husband of the other sister, Azar, had not filed any complaint against her.

Keeping Sex Fresh

2008-02-15T06:32:00.001-08:00

Okay, let's be honest - even sex can get boring, especially if it's with the same person day after day and in particular, if you don't vary things a bit. Would you want to eat chocolate mousse for dessert every day for the rest of your life? And yet, people often think of having sex in the missionary position as "normal" and do it that way every time without respite. But it's not just positions that count. There are many factors which help to create surprise, fun, spontaneity and excitement in sexual relations. Let's look at some of them.

Attitude

The most important sex organ is the mind. That's where arousal begins and ideas are generated. So, let your mind get down and dirty! It‘s fun and helps a lot to take love-making out of the ordinary and into the realms of fantasy, ecstasy, and even the bizarre if you wish. Only you know your own mind, so allow it free rein. Try not to monitor or judge your thoughts even if they seem a bit "off" or unusual. After all, you don't have to live out your fantasies - in fact, a fantasy lived out is a fantasy lost. Some things you may want to try out; others, you might prefer to enjoy in the privacy of your own thoughts. So, just be open to this area of sexual expression and it'll be a good start.

Communication

Let your partner in on some of these ideas. If they don't want to try them out, that's fine, but just talking about them can be very arousing. Also, honesty about what you're thinking creates true intimacy. Ask your partner to experiment and tell them what you want, for example, if you fancy trying anal sex for the first time or if you want to try out a particular sex aid. If you don't ask, you won't know. A lot of people find it hard to talk about sex and especially asking for what they want in bed. We're not all the same - just as some of us are more verbal and clear, others can be shy and more introverted. That's where videos and sex games can help a lot in breaking down inhibitions.

Variety

Make a point of trying something new regularly. If you live busy lives and tend to have a "quickie" once a week or so, start setting time aside to just be together. Create a sensual sexual space and don't rush. Enjoy each other's bodies, play, experiment, talk openly about your feelings and desires. Don't wait for your partner to do all the initiating. Swap roles continuously - nothing is more stimulating! Sometimes, be the dominant one, at other times, be more passive, act out fantasies, dress up. Variety can come in the form of positions, the actual things you do in bed and of course, where you do it. Surprise your partner in the shower, phone him or her at work and talk dirty, wake up in the middle of the night, fondle your partner out of sleep and insist on sex right then! Maybe greet your partner at the end of the day dressed up in a PVC outfit or as a French maid then insist on wearing the outfit throughout the evening without any physical contact at all. Anticipation is half the fun! These are just suggestions but if you let your imagination run free, you'll come up with all kinds of activities and games that will put the spark back into a dull sex life.

Toys

Of course, it's best if you can keep your relationship exciting continuously rather than wait till it gets deathly dull and then try to gee it up. Often, when people see me for sexual dysfunction problems or difficulties in their marriage, it comes down to boredom, in the case of infidelity, for example. Sex doesn't have to be mind-blowing all the time but it should be satisfying to both parties and that takes a little bit of effort after the first heady days of lust and constant longing.

More reading about female sexuality:
Reconnecting With Your Sexuality
Sexual Showstoppers
Where's The Sensuality?

NYC Unveils Official New Condom

2008-02-14T10:28:00.000-08:00

The official New York City condom has a different look and a sexy new slogan: New Yorkers are being encouraged to 'get some' on Valentine's Day.

Street teams will be handing out the free condoms at busy hubs around the city on Thursday, including Times Square, Wall Street and near City Hall.

And an ad campaign on television, radio and subways and buses will soon begin, featuring the catch phrase.

'We want to give away as many condoms as people will use because we're trying to make New York City an even safer place to have sex, and this is a powerful way to do it,' said Monica Sweeney, the Health Department's assistant commissioner for HIV prevention and control.

The free condom initiative is part of the city's effort to reduce rates of sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancies. About 100,000 of New York's 8.2 million residents have HIV or AIDS, and many more are diagnosed each year.

The city has made free condoms available for years, but last year revamped the package with a distinct look to encourage usage. Since then the city has been giving away 3 million condoms a month on average, up from 1.5 million a month before the redesign.

The design introduced last year was a black wrapper stamped with the letters 'NYC CONDOM' in the same font and bright colors used on city subway maps and signs.

The new design unveiled Wednesday features the letters 'NYC' in black, inside three adjoining white circles. Underneath the 'NYC' is the word 'CONDOM,' with each letter in a different color. The wrapper is still black and the condom inside, from the Lifestyles brand, is the same.

Designer Yves Behar, founder of the San Francisco-based agency fuseproject, created the wrapper's new look, which he said he wanted to be friendly and unintimidating.

The city said new condom dispensers, also designed by Behar, will be available for establishments that wish to distribute the condoms. Currently about 900 establishments _ some restaurants, bars and salons but mostly nonprofit groups _ offer the condoms, Sweeney said.

Last year, the city's condom campaign angered New York's top Catholic leaders, who said Mayor Michael Bloomberg's administration was promoting promiscuity by 'blanketing our neighborhoods with condoms.'

'Definitely, Maybe' a crackling romantic charmer, despite draggy finale

2008-02-12T06:29:00.000-08:00

By: Christy Lemire, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS Surely it's not too early to feel nostalgic for 1992. After all, it was 16 whole years ago. No iPods yet - and those clunky cell phones! Kurt Cobain was still alive and Bill Clinton hadn't even met Monica Lewinsky, much less had sexual relations with that woman. Thankfully, writer-director Adam Brooks doesn't wallow too obnoxiously in the not-so-distant kitsch with "Definitely, Maybe," a surprisingly clever romantic comedy that starts brightly but unfortunately loses its spark at the end. He mainly uses the period to establish the story of Ryan Reynolds'Will, a disillusioned New York ad man who's just been served divorce papers when the movie opens. That afternoon, he picks up his 10-year-old daughter Maya (the always adorable Abigail Breslin) from school and is horrified to discover that she and her classmates have had a sex education lesson, which prompts a flurry of uncomfortable questions about where she came from and who else Will dated besides her mom. (Maya has fun using the new terminology she's learned that day, loudly and often.) And so Will reluctantly tells her of his romantic past as a bedtime story, changing the names so that she (and we) won't know which girlfriend became her mother until the end. There's Emily (Elizabeth Banks), his wholesome college sweetheart from Wisconsin; April (Isla Fisher), a flighty but quick-witted aide he meets while working on Clinton's presidential campaign; and the sophisticated writer Summer (Rachel Weisz), who's out of his league. Brooks, who previously co-wrote the flat sequel "Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason" and the reasonably pleasing "Wimbledon," jumps back and forth between Will's recollections of his various interludes and his present-day attempts to keep them clean for his daughter, who chimes in with sweet and frequently smart-alecky commentary. (If Breslin seems too precocious, you're too cynical.) His characters are distinctly drawn and well cast, with each woman believably shaping Will into the man he becomes. And Reynolds, who is in every scene, continues to move beyond such raunchy comedies as "Van Wilder" and "Waiting ..." to establish himself as a viable leading man, with terrific looks and even better comic timing. He has especially great chemistry with the effervescent Fisher, who is as irresistible here as she was in "Wedding Crashers"; when they're together, as close friends who clearly long to be more, they make "Definitely, Maybe" feel like a throwback to the classics of the genre. Banks, who is a bit underused, brings a sense of warmth and calm to the film, while Weisz sexes things up. Kevin Kline has a couple of crackling scenes as Summer's mentor and lover - a prolific, drunk writer whom Will mistakes for her father in his initial innocence. But while Brooks has made an inventive romantic comedy - something that seems impossible to do these days - his ending takes way too long and makes too many twists. We have to slog through repeated permutations of who Maya's mom might have been and who Will's soul mate might be. (If you're paying attention, there's a hint in the lyrics of a Vanessa Williams song that plays at one point.) It is amusing and especially timely, though, that Will's optimism mirrors that of the Clinton administration. When we first meet him, he's out to change the world, too, and perhaps become president himself someday. In time, he learns too much about the candidate in whom he had so much faith, and about the women to whom he opened his heart; the knowledge hardens him, leaving him depressed and jaded. Brooks says he finished the script just before Hillary Rodham Clinton announced her run for the White House, but the timing is a hoot. So is a comment from Derek Luke as Will's best friend on the campaign staff, who has his own dreams of becoming the nation's first black president. Three stars out of four.

Africa: No Sex, Please - You're HIV-Positive

2008-02-10T10:25:00.000-08:00

HIV/AIDS policies and programmes disregard the sexual needs of people living with the virus, claim a number of HIV-positive women who attended the third Africa Conference on Sexual Health and Rights -- held this week in Nigeria.

The initiatives focus on prevention and treatment, they add, ignoring the fact that people living with HIV/AIDS who are conducting normal lives still want to experience sexual pleasure, and have children.

"The epidemic has evolved. HIV-infected people are not dying; we are living and we are having sex," noted Beatrice Were, an activist in Uganda for the Global AIDS Alliance, a non-profit based in Washington.

She said health care providers and others are shocked when they discover that a person living with HIV/AIDS is either interested in or having sex, viewing this as irresponsible -- even though condoms have been shown to be highly effective in preventing transmission of the HI virus, and re-infection of a person who has already tested positive.

"We are looked upon as patients who need to be pitied, patients who must be told what to do -- and this includes to abstain from sex, and not to fall pregnant," added Were, who has been HIV-positive for 16 years. "We are treated with bias, even though we are capable of enjoying sexual pleasure without passing on the disease."

Furthermore, noted Belinda Tima -- board co-chair of the International Community of Women Living with HIV/AIDS (ICW), a charity headquartered in London -- sexual pleasure need not be limited to penetrative sex, but can take a variety of forms.

Even the staunchest advocate of condom use cannot claim that the prophylactics are completely effective, however. Is there perhaps a sense among health workers that even the small risk of someone contracting the virus during protected sex with an HIV-positive person is too great?

"Condoms are not 100 percent safe -- we refer to it as 'safer sex' -- but the risk of infection in minimal," responded Anne Ntombela, the ICW's programme director for South Africa. "If you understand the nature of HIV and how it is transmitted you will know that it is not as easy as people think. It needs exposure for a sufficient period of time under the right conditions, and it needs an exit and entry point," she added, in reference to cuts, sores and the like.

The larger issue at play is a moral one, Ntombela said. "Health care workers try to force their moral values on other people, but in reality people will not stop having sex. They would be better served if they were told how to have safer sex, rather than not to engage in sex at all."

In addition, countries should create "...an environment that supports access to services. We need prevention tools like female condoms...and we need more co-operative research on living with HIV and AIDS, and policies and programmes that take cognisance of this."

Pregnancy prevention

Concerns about the sexual activity of HIV-positive people extend to the matter of pregnancy.

HIV-positive women may pass on the virus to children during pregnancy, labour or while breastfeeding. ARVs can reduce the risk of transmission to under two percent, according to AVERT, a global charity that helps combat the pandemic. However, research has indicated persistent fears about mother-to-child transmission of HIV, and that mothers who are HIV-positive could die -- leaving behind orphans who may receive insufficient care.

"When I chose to have a baby 15 months ago people demanded to know why I took the risk of infecting my child. There was a 98 percent probability of not infecting my baby -- but people...demanded to know why I took that two percent risk," said Rolake Odetoyinbo, executive director of Positive Action for Positive Treatment, a non-governmental group in Nigeria. She has lived with HIV/AIDS for a decade.

A number of delegates at the conference claimed that certain clinics administer contraceptive injections when providing AIDS treatment to women, without receiving the consent of these women or counseling them. There are also reports of health workers acting judgmentally towards HIV-positive women in search of reproductive health care, and even denying them assistance. Indications are that women with the virus may be pressed into having an abortion where this option is available, or into being sterilised.

But even in the face of these difficulties, an array of factors prompt women living with HIV/AIDS to become pregnant or remain so, notes a 2002 report by Ipas, 'Reproductive choice and women living with HIV/AIDS'. Ipas is an international organisation for the advancement of women's sexual and reproductive rights.

It states that "...often younger women appear to be most motivated by a desire for motherhood and the idea that having a child will give them more hope. In a few cases, personal convictions that abortion is wrong may prevent them from seeking terminations, so that they end up having children 'by default'."

Social expectations as concerns family size, the stigma surrounding childlessness and unsuccessful attempts to terminate pregnancy also play a role. In addition, childbearing can be seen as "...a means of obtaining or ensuring economic support from partners".

Noted the ICW's Ntombela, diagnosed with HIV 17 years ago, "All pregnancy is risky. Telling an HIV-infected woman not to have a child is the same as telling all women not to have a child in case it is born with a defect, in case it has Down's syndrome."

"There are worse complications than HIV for a child HIV-infected children can experience a healthy life style -- it's not like 10 years ago."

Restrictive abortion laws

Another issue that came under discussion at the Third Africa Conference on Sexual Health and Rights, held Feb. 4-7 in the Nigerian capital of Abuja, was the failure of most nations on the continent to ensure legal and safe voluntary abortions.

Several speakers at the biennial meeting called for the liberalisation of abortion laws in Africa. "Annually there are 5.5 million unsafe abortions performed in Africa, resulting in 36,000 unnecessary deaths," said Elizabeth Maguire, president of Ipas.

The conference was organised by various groups, including Ipas and the World Health Organisation, under the theme 'Sexuality, Poverty and Accountability in Africa'. About 400 people from 32 countries were present at the event.

Report: Nursing homes help elderly residents contact prostitutes

2008-02-09T06:17:00.000-08:00

Copenhagen - Many Danish nursing homes do not shy away from helping residents contact prostitutes, the Politiken newspaper reported Friday. The newspaper quoted a recent survey conducted by the Danish Nurses Organization that suggested the practice was not uncommon.

"In general our approach is to help the elderly with that kind of need," said a nurse at a nursing home in Charlottenlund, near Copenhagen, according to the report.

Decisions about whether or not staff were allowed to assist elderly residents get in touch with sex-workers rested with local municipal authorities, the report said.

An exception was Copenhagen where such assistance is not allowed since 2006 when the city council adopted a programme to combat prostitution.

Sexologist Judith Rosenkrantz, who has earlier been head of a nursing home and now advises health workers, said that the needs of elderly residents have to be taken into account.

The most common category were men, often suffering from dementia.

"If the elderly person is not able to channel his sexuality, he can become aggressive and start attacking staff," Rosenkrantz said.

Rosenkrantz said that the main need was often physical contact, a cuddle or help to masturbate rather than actual sexual intercourse.

Prostitution in Israel: Trial by fire

2008-02-09T02:19:00.000-08:00

Yelena laughs. "What else can I do now but laugh," she asks. She has a nice smile and a hearty laugh, a youthful body and a pink, smooth face that belie her 41 years. They also belie the accident. The fire did not touch her face.

The horror is concealed beneath her clothes. The fire slowly licked every inch of her body. Limb after limb, without letup. But seven years later Yelena tells her story calmly, without tears, without trembling. At the most difficult moments she laughs. "That's how I survive," she says. Only during a late-night conversation does she add: "When you leave, I'll be left with my thoughts. I won't be able to fall asleep."

Yelena (not her real name) and her attorney, Ahuva Zalcberg, are behind one of the most unusual lawsuits ever submitted to the Be'er Sheva District Court. The incident that prompted it occurred seven years ago. In 2000, Yelena was working as a prostitute in a discreet apartment in Be'er Sheva. One night in December of that year, at 3 A.M., as part of a battle with the owner over control of the business, unknown men broke in, beat and stabbed the guard to death and set the apartment on fire. They locked in Yelena and her Russian-national coworker, Tania, who is also a plaintiff in the case.

Yelena and Tania's survival was close to a miracle. Their bodies in flames, they broke through the window bars on the second-floor apartment and jumped. Both were hospitalized in serious condition in the intensive care unit of the city's Soroka Medical Center.

Yelena was on a respirator for three weeks and underwent several skin grafts. One of her feet became gangrenous and had to be amputated. She had third-degree burns over 60 percent of her body. After a long period at Soroka she was moved to Beilinson Hospital at Rabin Medical Center in Petah Tikva. In March 2001 she was admitted to Loewenstein Hospital Rehabilitation Center, Ra'anana, where she remained for six months.

Tania had third-degree burns on her arms and legs. After several operations her condition deteriorated and she returned to intensive care. Eventually, scorched and scarred, both women came through.

Today, in an unusual step, they are demanding monetary compensation from everyone responsible for operating the apartment where they provided sex services. They are suing the Be'er Sheva municipality, which according to the lawsuit was guilty of negligence and of violating its legal duty by not doing enough to close the business within its jurisdiction, about which it was cognizant. They are suing the Israel Police on the grounds that it knew about the business and about the violent incidents occurring there and did not do enough to close it or at least ensure the safety of its workers. They are suing the operator of the massage parlor, Meir Danino, who according to the suit neglected to ensure the safety of the employees and to observe fire safety regulations, including the provision of emergency entrances and exits.

Yelena and Tania are claiming compensation for lost future income. They say that had it not been for the accident they would have continued working in prostitution and earned tidy sums. In addition, Yelena seeks compensation for her exceptional expenses in the wake of her serious injuries. "It is unconscionable that there be a business, much less an illegal one, which everyone allows to exist without ensuring basic safety conditions for the clients and the workers," says Zalcberg. "Either close the business, or demand the same safety conditions as in every business. You can't have it both ways."

Better to die

In Yelena's house the lights are dimmed and the atmosphere is peaceful. Her young son is sleeping, her older daughter is off in her room with the phone. They live in a cozy, orderly apartment in a good area in the center of the country. Yelena, serious and carefully groomed, earns a living from casual babysitting jobs. She is afraid the rent will increase next year and they will have to leave. That is her greatest fear, to be left without a home for her children. It was this fear that drove her into the sex industry 10 years ago, when she was a new divorcee with a young daughter. Most of the people in her life today do not know about her shady past. When people ask about her scars she says she was injured in a terror attack.

Be'er Sheva was not the first city where she worked as a prostitute. "I went to work in Be'er Sheva because a prostitute has to go all over [the country] to survive," Yelena says. "If you stay in the same place the men get tired of you. That's how I came to Be'er Sheva, too. You know, every place has its own character and its own men. I worked in Jerusalem, Haifa, the center of the country, everywhere the work is different. It's easiest to work in Be'er Sheva, in the periphery," she smiles, whispering, "The men aren't sophisticated, it doesn't take much to satisfy them. The Israeli men in the center of the country can drive you crazy with their fantasies. In Be'er Sheva it's enough for them to see me naked and they come. A minute or two, all I do is touch their hand and good-bye."

She was unaware of the struggles for control among the city's pimps. All she wanted was to work and to leave with her money. "In prostitution it's not the police that are scary, it's the conflicts among the pimps. And I was the victim of such a disagreement." What exactly was it over? She doesn't know and doesn't want to know. "What else could they argue about? Money."

A few days before the fire several unknown men came and roughed up Yelena and the security guard at the massage parlor. She realized that serious trouble was brewing. "Scary men came in. One came over, pulled my lips up and down and looked at my teeth. Like buying a horse. I don't know what kind of nerves a person needs to allow someone to do that to him and not to move, to remain silent. Not to say a thing. At that moment I erased myself. I knew that man could kill. When they left I asked Yasha, the guard: 'Who is that? What is that?' He explained that they were the muscle for one of the big massage parlor operators in the city. We prostitutes don't get involved in the politics among the pimps. I worked, paid the cashier what I needed to and went home. But when that happened I knew I had to get out."

She did not get out. On December 21, 2000 Yelena reported for her shift as usual. "That night, from 2 A.M. to 3 A.M. I was in one room and Tania in the other, and Yasha was at the entrance. Yasha was a good guy. A father of three, he had a regular job in the morning and at night he was a guard at the massage parlor. He was always worried about his livelihood. I barely knew Tania. There was no connection, each did her own work. It was a slow night and we wanted to close up already. And then the owner called and told me to stay for another hour because he was sending a friend of his. I said alright. The client arrived. I was already naked. While I was with the client we suddenly heard a loud noise. Our door was kicked open. Men wearing black masks, with clubs in their hands, came in. At first I felt my blood flood with adrenalin, that I had no air. They laid the client on the bed and began hitting him on the legs with the clubs. And I was there. Standing in front of them and watching, naked. I thought: 'What should I do, what should I do?' And then one said to the other: 'Why are you standing there, bring the bottle.'

"I realized they wanted to burn the place down," Yelena continued. "He told me 'Go there,' to the other room. And when I started going he poured kerosene on the floor and on me, too. At that moment I thought that it was better to die on the spot than to be so scared. I went into the bathroom, I wanted to open the window and jump out. Tania, who had also come in, said: 'Don't do it now. They'll kill us.' The window was hard to open, they would have heard and killed us. Meanwhile we saw them pouring kerosene all over the apartment. I turned on the water in the bathtub, maybe it would help. And then they left and threw matches inside. Boom. The flames rose all at once."

The arsonists left and locked the apartment, dooming those inside to death. "You know, from the shock of the fear you don't feel a thing. I didn't feel the fire burning me. I didn't feel pain. The entire apartment was in flames. I saw Yasha there, lying on the floor, and told him: 'Get up, Yasha, get up or you'll burn.' At that point I didn't know that he was badly hurt. As soon as they came in they had stabbed him in the stomach. When Tania managed to open the window I couldn't see anymore. I closed my eyes and suddenly opened them. I think I woke up because I felt I had no air. And then I jumped from the second floor. The thought in my mind was that I had a child waiting for me.

"I started rolling in the sand, I tried to cool my skin a little. I saw Tania sitting in front of me not understanding what was happening. Her dress was torn, everything was black. I was completely naked. Tania said to me: 'Let's go.' We were in a backyard but we were afraid that the arsonists were still there. In the end we went out into the street. A taxi driver stopped, I never learned his name. But I thank him. He brought us to the hospital." When she saw the doctors she managed to utter one sentence: "Put me to sleep. I can't stand it anymore."

Is that hell?

"I think that there, in hell, it's easier. I was clinically dead, I closed my eyes, I know what it's like when you get there. There's nothing there that's like what I went through in that apartment. Now I'm not afraid of death."

Security

Yelena immigrated to Israel in 1991 from St. Petersburg, Russia with her husband and their daughter. They divorced soon afterward and Yelena found herself alone in a foreign country, without a support network, without language skills and without any source of income. In Russia she had studied track and field, there was no work in Israel in that. "I didn't see any work I could do apart from prostitution," she says.

In 1997 she began working at a massage parlor in the center of the country. Yelena does not condemn prostitution: just the opposite. Were it not for the arson and her injuries she probably would have continued to spend her nights in a moldy apartment with strange men. She sees nothing wrong with it. Yelena says that the professional life of a prostitute lasts for about 15 years, and she barely managed to work for three. It was thanks to prostitution that she managed to settle down and be a good mother, she says. Her daily schedule was like that of a perfect mother. In the morning she would bring her daughter to kindergarten or school, then sleep until noon, cook lunch, pick up her daughter and spend the rest of the day with her. It was only after her daughter fell asleep that Yelena would go out for another night in the massage parlor.

"When I'm in the massage parlor I'm not myself," she says. "I'm someone else entirely. It's theater. 'The prostitute' is a disguise I wear. I don't know if you can understand, but the garbage in that place is the men. They beg for my services. I'm the strong one. You know, in those places you could explode from laughter."

What's funny?

"We would laugh at the men, at ourselves, at everything. We laughed at one another because we're all in the gutter there, as low as possible, and only in such a situation can you say everything and laugh about everything, because otherwise what's left?"

From the sidelines it's hard to understand your acceptance of prostitution. Didn't you want to get out of it?

"I didn't see anyplace to go to. How could I get out? My Hebrew wasn't good, worse than now. When I came to Israel they sent me to work in a packing house. I didn't want to. In prostitution I made money. I traveled abroad a lot with my daughter, I had a housekeeper. I lived very well. My status as a prostitute was entirely different. I wasn't a tourist, like the ones they smuggle here via Egypt, take away their papers, smuggle them from place to place and don't give them money. In my case it was a choice, I saw prostitution as work. I didn't go there to pass the time. I would see the tourist prostitutes at the massage parlors depressed, sitting, drinking, talking and not wanting to work. I came to work, not to talk. I needed the money, after a few hours I would return home to my daughter."

Didn't it tear you apart, to go from the everyday world to an underworld of massage parlors? Didn't you want to work in a decent profession?

"I knew what I was doing. I understood that it was hard-earned money, but every day you make a sum of money and for me that was security. I was here by myself, I had to pay rent. My greatest fear was to find myself on the street with my daughter."

Does your daughter know?

"She knows. There was a time when she kept telling me that a friend from school had told her that her mother was such and such, and I always told her it wasn't true. You know how it is when someone pressures you. In the end I told her: 'Yes, it's true.' I told her one thing, that I don't want her to be in this profession. I told her what had happened. I explained to her why sometimes I'm in a bad mood, why sometimes I cry and why sometimes I don't feel like getting out of bed."

Do you talk about your past, does she ask why?

"We've never sat and talked. I never asked whether or not she's been traumatized or not. She's learned to live with it. I explained to her that I started working in prostitution because I had no choice. I explained to her that I had tried everything. The city welfare department doesn't pay rent. We needed the money."

Raw flesh

The moment Yelena opened her eyes in the hospital she began to cry. "The doctors came and told me what the situation was. I was covered with burns. I was like a mummy, all wrapped in white: my legs, my arms, my back. In my legs I felt something hard, heavy. The doctors explained that they had to amputate my foot. I couldn't speak, I was attached to a respirator. I simply cried."

During those first days of hospitalization Yelena was told that Yasha had died of his injuries. She was happy to find out that Tania had survived and was with her in the hospital. The two, who until that night had barely known one another, became close friends, supporting each other through the prolonged hospitalization. Yelena's mother came from Russia to care for her granddaughter, who remained at home.

"It's a very slow rehabilitation. The worst part is the baths. The pain that can drive you crazy. Every 24 hours they have to change the bandages covering your body. They put you into a room with a special bed, with two nurses on each side. I still remember the cold in that room. And then, together, they begin pulling off the bandages and they very quickly wash your skin with soap. Under the bandages there is actually no skin, it's raw flesh. And then they put on clean bandages. There is no word to describe that pain. After such a treatment you remain empty, airless. Sometimes even the nurses couldn't do it because they couldn't stand to see my suffering. Today nothing hurts me, not after those treatments."

Yelena remained at Soroka for over three months, receiving numerous skin grafts. From there she was transferred to Beilinson and then to Loewenstein for rehabilitation.

"I was a temperamental patient. I screamed. It hurt, it drove me crazy, I was impatient. I was angry at myself, why had this happened to me. I didn't do anything bad to anyone, why did I deserve it. But in the morning, when I opened my eyes, I had to laugh with Tania. We laughed over nonsense. The nurses were amazed at how we laughed. We would ask the doctors when we would be sexy again, and they would laugh. With all the pain there was joy as well. We were glad we were still alive."

Were there moments when you were in despair?

"In Soroka there was a period when I didn't want to recover. And then my daughter came to the hospital. She cried, I cried, and at that moment I decided that I would recover. I agreed to begin going to physiotherapy, which is very difficult because the skin shrinks and you can't stretch your arms and legs. I'm here today thanks to her. She gave me the motivation. She needed me."

After about a year Yelena returned home. "When I left the hospital I didn't even take my medical records. I didn't want to know how hard it had been. It's hard to return to life afterward. You keep thinking about it. I had bad moods. I didn't always want to get up in the morning. Even today, every morning I get up and look at the stump and it puts me in a bad mood."

How did your daughter react to all the events?

"I missed a year with her, and that's hard. She was just beginning adolescence when it happened. When I returned from the hospital I found another child, grown up, she already had a ring in her navel. She went through something and I lost the mother- daughter relationship. She began to menstruate and I wasn't even there."

Like any mother

Yelena met Zalcberg, who specializes in damage suits and does a lot of work on behalf of foreign workers, while she was at Beilinson. The hospital social workers called the lawyer and asked if she would meet with a solitary woman who needed help. "I came Friday evening," Zalcberg says. "I can't forget that day. She was lying in the room alone, for fear of infections. I saw a figure entirely covered with white bandages, with her extremities raised. Like in the movies. I could barely understand her when she spoke. But this figure, from inside the wrappings, radiated great strength and power."

Zalcberg also met Tania, who was staying at a police shelter for foreign nationals who are victims of trafficking and women and are to testify against their employers. "Tania's case was more difficult because she had no health insurance. After Soroka she had nowhere to go. Her medical condition was serious. The only organization that aided her was Physicians for Human Rights. She needed daily medical care, she had lots of burns and bandages."

Zalcberg took the unprecedented step of demanding that the National Insurance Institute (NII) recognize Yelena and Tania as the victims of a work accident, guaranteeing paid medical care and a lifetime disability allowance. "The NII is the most conservative organization in the world, and nevertheless we succeeded," Zalcberg says. Using documents obtained from the police Zalcberg was able to prove that the accident happened on the job and because of the job. "This is the first time the NII is recognizing an incident like this as a work accident, and it saved their lives."

The Be'er Sheva police arrested three men in connection to the incident, brothers Moti, Asher and Michel Abecassis, who are known to the police as being involved in the battle for control of the city's sex industry. They were held for a period of time but were never indicted. "There was no evidence," their attorney, Esther Bar-Zion, says. Tania was asked to testify but she was unable to recall the appearance of the attackers.

Zalcberg has been a witness to Yelena's difficulties. She was repeatedly evicted for failing to pay her rent when she was unable to find work. "I personally tried to find her a job," Zalcberg says. "It didn't work out. There's a language problem. She can't work as an office clerk, in sales or at any physical work, because of her disability. With all my connections I was unable to help. At one point I spoke to [Bar-Zion, whose client] was suspected in the arson, and asked whether there was any way to compensate these women, who are completely free of blame, without her clients confessing. The answer was that there's no possibility."

Zalcberg suggested to Yelena and to Tania, who returned to Russia after her recovery, that they sue the authorities and Danino, the owner of the massage parlor, for damages. The women were fearful and hesitant at first but eventually they came to realize that their lives had been destroyed and that someone had to pay. "Now I'm not longer afraid," Yelena says. "When I worked for Danino in the parlor, he always got his half, now I deserve to get something. After the incident I tried to contact him, he immediately hung up. He didn't take an interest in my fate, nor do I want to see him. I know he has a luxury car, a wife, a business, children. His children can study at the university. What about my children? I don't want money for new clothes, I want to guarantee my children's future. I want them to go and study. I keep telling my daughter: 'Knowledge is power.' I don't want my daughter to be like me."

About a year after returning home Yelena decided to have another baby (and did so with a friend). "After what had happened, I felt that I had to have something that would make me get up in the morning," she explains. "Something that would wake me up, literally and figuratively. I'm extremely lonely here. A few friends, but mainly alone. I became pregnant. The moment the child was born, my joie de vivre returned."

But a child is also a big financial responsibility.

"What's better, to die of loneliness? I'm a good mother."

They live very modestly, but the house is pleasant, the kitchen is well stocked and Yelena is always there, with her children. The pain does not disappear, there are mornings when she can't get out of bed, but with endless pride she tells about her daughter's grades and her son's after-school activities. "The only joy in my life is the children. I'm like any mother, I take my son to the park, to activities, to friends, I don't deny them anything."

What is your dream?

"An apartment of my own."

And on a more personal level?

"To dance in high heels."

Lies We're Told About Sex

2008-02-07T09:01:00.000-08:00

The messages we receive about sex from our parents, the media, and our educational, social, and religious institutions tend to be contradictory, and often downright false. One way to combat the lies we’re told about sex is to start cataloguing them. Below is a very incomplete list of some of the biggest lies we’re told about sex.

Sex is genetic: It’s the puppet-master and we’re lucky to be getting our strings pulled now and then.

Because procreation is tied to our species survival, evolutionary scientists and pop psychologists alike argue that the most important understanding of sexuality is the one that links our sexual behavior to procreation. Thus we are told that male sexuality is voracious and dangerous, that female sexuality is a side effect of the need for women to have babies, and that the psychological, emotional, and spiritual aspects of sexuality are not as important as the genetic ones.

There is clearly a genetic component to sex, but that doesn’t mean that this is either the most useful, or “truest” perspective from which to think about our sexuality.

Sex is natural and simple: You should just know how to do it.

Sex is natural, we’re told, because we have to do it to survive. But this doesn’t accurately describe what human sexuality has become. Intercourse may be instinctual for some (but clearly not all) of us, but sexuality is much more than intercourse, and none of it actually comes easily. It’s it strange that we are taught how to perform most other basic human behaviors (how to eat, how to communicate, how to go to the bathroom) and as we get older we learn the more complicated ones (how to read, write, drive a car, work) and yet we’re just supposed to know how to have sex.

Sex is gender: Men are from sex-crazed Mars; women are from soft and romantic Venus.

This lie takes many forms:

* Women just want to cuddle, men want to have raunchy sex.
* Women are sexual communicators, men can’t talk about their sexual feelings.
* ”Real sex” takes place between a man and a woman.
* Men and women can’t ever be friends, sex always gets in the way.
* Men want sex all the time, and women don’t.
* Men are more visual than women when it comes to sexual arousal.

All of these are variations on the big double-shot sex lie: That sex is 100% tied to our gender, and we are all only one gender. The fact is that how we think about, feel about, and actually have sex is infinitely more complicated than which door we walk through in a public washroom.

Sex is spontaneous: Don’t talk about it, just do
it.

When you think of it, this lie about sex doesn’t make any sense. If sex is meant to be something fun and exciting, something that makes you feel good about your body and yourself, makes you feel loved and attended to, why would planning for sex ever be a bad thing? Wouldn’t it actually be nice to know you’re going to get to have sex at the end of a particularly hard day? Yet we’re told that the most exciting sex is the sex that “just happens”. In reality, sex rarely “just happens”. It’s true that many couples never talk about sex beforehand, but that doesn’t mean that one (or more likely both) partners aren’t thinking about it, wondering when they’re going to have it next, and fantasizing about what kind of sex it will be.

Bigger is better, more is better…better is
better.

These statements are true for some people, some of the time. The specific lie we’re told is that these things are true for everyone, all of the time. In reality people have size preferences that change depending on their mood and what sort of sex they want to have. Similarly, we all have different levels of sexual desire, and these levels can change throughout the month, and over the years. Finally, there is a more contemporary lie that tells us we should always be reaching for better sex, trying new things, pushing ourselves and our partners to attain new heights of great sex. Some researchers have pointed out that this competitive attitude can have the opposite effect, making us anxious and on edge about the sex we’re having.

Sex is special: It’s a rare transformative moment that only comes once in a while.

On one hand, it’s true that sex can be transformative and that some of us don’t get to have sex as often as we’d like, but on the other hand, sex is an incredibly common and regular occurrence. Yet many of us are raised to think of sex like it’s a non-renewable resource that’s about to dry up. If instead we put sex in its place among all our other activities of daily living and all the ways we communicate with the people around us, we might have a lot less anxiety about how we’re doing it, when we’re doing it, if we’re doing it right, and who we’re doing it with. Sex doesn’t need to be treated with kid gloves, it can take it, if we start to dish it out.

We can make it on our own: Sexual agency is the same as sexual independence.

We can thank the mostly positive influence of the women’s movement on sexual expression for this subtle lie.

What’s true is that we all have a right to sexual agency -- to experience sexual pleasure on our own terms, think sexual thoughts, and have sexual desires separate from those around us. But the silent lie is that sexual agency equals complete independence. In truth, none of us are completely independent from those around us, and we rely on others in ways few of us acknowledge. Among the few people who have managed to really figure this out are folks living with disabilities who require assistance with regular daily activities. When you rely on others for some form of help, it becomes very apparent the way we are all connected. If you don’t, you can go through life imagining that you’d be fine without anyone around. Yet even masturbation, which is often fueled by sexual fantasy, requires some external stimulation (even if you’re only dreaming of the UPS guy or gal, they’re still involved to some extent).

There’s a right way and a wrong way to have
sex.
Whether we’re being told we have to do it with someone else (masturbation isn’t “real” sex), we have to do it with someone of the opposite sex, we have to do it in a bed, 2.5 times a week, or some other form of this lie, there are no lack of people who want to feed you the lie that there is only one (or two) right ways to have sex. The truth is that there are no rules (beyond age and consent) to how you can have healthy and fun sex. Whenever you catch someone feeding you this lie, call them on it.

Great sex is all about…
Is it about sexual technique? Is it sexual communication? Is it the “spark”, or the bed sheets, or the sex toys, or the weather system? Amazon lists over 150 books with great sex in the title, each one offering you an endless stream of advice on what constitutes great sex. It’s no lie that great sex can be had, but the lie is that one person’s great sex will be your great sex. Great sex probably isn’t like a great chocolate chip cookie recipe, which works best if you follow the directions to the letter. Learning more about sex can probably only add to your experience of good sex, but in the absence of any proof, I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that great sex happens in the way you uniquely put it all together, not in following a step by step guide book written by someone whose main goal is to sell you a book.

Grandmother is "delivered" a penis by postman

2008-02-04T01:14:00.000-08:00

A postal worker delivered a nasty surprise to an elderly grandmother, exposing his erect penis while handing over her mail.

A court in Australia heard that Raymond Toa Vaele, 46, had been delivering a parcel to the woman when she invited him inside to put it down.

As he handed her a clipboard to sign for the item, the woman noticed Vaele's erect penis poking 10cm out of his shorts.

"He does admit that the shorts he was wearing were too short to be inside the house," Crown prosecutor Amanda Meisenhelter said of Vaele, who pleaded guilty to one count of doing an indecent act.

Vaele, a father of four who worked as a sub contractor for the Australian Postal service, was sentenced to three years' probation over the October 23, 2006 incident inside the 62 year-old woman's Brisbane home.

The court heard the woman, who had been looking after her three young grandchildren at the time, waited until Vaele continued on his rounds before making a complaint.

He was eventually identified through delivery records and a photographic line-up.

Vaele's defence counsel, John Edwards, could offer no explanation for his client's behaviour, however a committal hearing over the matter has previously heard the incident may have been an accident.

"He didn't deny that it had happened," Mr Edwards said of the erection.

"He is ashamed and he is sorry."

Judge Charles Brabazon was less forgiving, however, after it was revealed Vaele - a devout Mormon - had been on bail at the time for attempting to kiss a 13 year-old girl and breaking into her home to leave lewd magazines for her to read.

In a victim impact statement tendered to the court, the elderly woman said she had felt humiliated, violated and was now left with a deep distrust of postmen.

"It may be embarrassing for you, but it is disturbing for the people who are affected by it," the judge told Vaele.

"She was a widow at home alone.

"This was no passing event. It is something that has had a permanent affect on her."

Vaele may be ordered to undergo psychiatric treatment and counselling as part of his punishment.

Bottoms up: World's most beautiful backsides

2008-02-02T06:02:00.000-08:00

Dimitrova from Bulgaria poses after she won the final of the 'Most beautiful bottom in the world' competition in Munich on October 31, 2007.

Participants bottom-off during the final of the 'Most beautiful bottom in the world' competition in Munich on October 31, 2007. As many as 42 finalists from 26 countries took part in the competition to win a modelling contract and 10,000 euros in prize money.

Contestants take part in the final of the 'Most beautiful bottom in the world' competition in Munich on October 31, 2007.

Contestants take part in the final of the 'Most beautiful bottom in the world' competition in Munich on October 31, 2007.

Dimitrova from Bulgaria poses after she won the final of the 'Most beautiful bottom in the world' competition in Munich on October 31, 2007.

Can You Eat Your Way to Better Sex?

2008-02-02T03:09:00.000-08:00

Turning yourself on with some tongue action is nothing new. But can what you put in your mouth truly affect your sex life?

For centuries, humans have been fascinated by supposed links between certain substances and one’s sex drive, sexual performance and sexual desire. Yet only recently we’ve really been able to confirm what actually works and why.

While there’s no magical meal plan for easily enhancing sexual pleasure or attaining orgasm, you definitely can impact your sexual energy by incorporating certain ingredients into your diet. So here are a few do’s and don’ts when it comes to what to put in your mouth.

Main Courses

I’m a big fan of fish oil. This isn’t simply because I’m Icelandic. I take two tablets every morning because there are so many health benefits. So I was delighted when I learned that animal and human studies show that fish oil raises dopamine levels in the brain.

Why should you care about dopamine?

This hormone not only is good for one’s cardio health and in combating depression — factors that can affect one’s sexual gusto — but this neurotransmitter triggers lust. Dopamine can stimulate the release of testosterone, your hormone of sexual desire, as well as focus your attention and motivate you, quite possibly with none other than your love!

So in planning your three meals of the day, shoot for foods that contain the active, effective ingredient in fish oil — the omega-3 fatty acid. Sure, you can, like me, pop a tablet or two of fish oil daily, but it’s much more fun to serve up something tastier, like salmon or tuna, which I also eat weekly.

(Note: You want to avoid fried fish since often it is cooked in oils high in omega-6 fatty acids, which cancels out the effect you want).

Not much of a fish fan? Other foods, with saturated and monounsaturated fats, that can raise dopamine levels to some degree include shellfish, poultry, wild game, free-range beef, snails, avocado and dairy.

These foods also are great because the fats they contain increase total testosterone, boosting libido and the ability to reach orgasm. Still, the easiest, cheapest and safest way to consume large amounts of EPA and DHA — the two omega-3 fatty acids in fish oil helping your game — is to pop a tablet or two of fish oil daily.**

As not to kill your healthy eating efforts, make sure to avoid cooking your foods with trans fats and polyunsaturated fats, including vegetable oils such as soybean, safflower and corn. Instead, use monosaturated fats including canola or olive oil when cooking.

Side Dishes

Side dishes are the perfect way to get the vitamins and minerals you need to be a sex machine. Vitamins are a must since those with low sexual libido generally suffer from a nutritional deficiency.

Iron deficiencies, for example, can play into an individual’s sex life, affecting the energy needed for lovemaking. This issue can be nipped in the bud with some of my favorites — basil or arugula. Just be sure to avoid side dishes that can act as a depressant on your system, particularly starchy carbohydrates such as white breads and potatoes.

Now, when cooking up any of the aforementioned main courses and side dishes, be sure to flavor them with a couple of wonderful key ingredients:

Garlic — With its "heat" said to stir sexual desire, garlic releases allicin when chopped or otherwise "damaged," increasing blood flow to the sexual organs when consumed.

Chilies or black pepper — Basically, anything spicy can invite physiological responses that mimic human sexual response, e.g., raised heart rate. They can make you feel aroused, even if that’s more of an illusion than anything.

(Foods rich in zinc are particularly good for men. Pumpkin seeds and oysters are ideal for very sexually active men. High in zinc, these foods are crucial to men’s health, helping them to replenish that loss through frequent ejaculation.)

Dessert

While sugary treats, like honey, can give you a quick, short-lived energy boost, the best dessert you can serve yourself or your love is that of dark chocolate.

Marrena Lindberg, author of "The Orgasmic Diet," recommends up to half an ounce of high-quality dark chocolate per day, since its chemical compounds increase dopamine levels. I’ve read elsewhere that other forms of chocolate also can give your love life a wee bit of a boost since this romantic sweet contains three substances that flood our brain with chemicals, making us feel happy when we eat it.

The theobromine in chocolate boosts endorphin production, giving your body a high. Its two other compounds — anandamide and phenylethylamine (PEA) — may further have sex-enhancing effects, though research has yet to prove this.

A study out of Italy’s University of Vita-Salute San Raffaelle found, however, there was no difference in sexual arousal or satisfaction between women who consumed chocolate daily than those who did not nibble on the sweet.

Not being much of a dark chocolate fan myself, I totally understand the need for other desserts from which to choose. Figs are scrumptious, sweet and particularly good for women in that they are a good source of iron, magnesium and zinc.

Juicy and sensual peaches are packed with vitamin C. Pistachio nuts also are good for you since they contain the amino acid arginine, which has been shown to improve sexual function in men and women by improving genital circulation.

Just make sure to stay away from sugary and starchy carbohydrates and desserts with trans or hydrogenated fats, e.g., margarine and vegetable shortening.

Beverages

Hands down, the best thing you can do for yourself when it comes to what you drink is to stay hydrated with water and to drink natural beverages rich in vitamins, such as orange juice or V8. I suck down a yummy organic and probiotic Synergy drink daily for its restoring effect and nutrients (plus, I love its fizzy, tart flavors). Yet, there are other beverages humans have been known to dabble with when it comes to sexual arousal.

Whether it’s coffee, tea, colas or cocoa, people have reached for drinks containing caffeine for their stimulating and antidepressant effects, yet some warn it’s better to stay away from such beverages.

Their argument: Caffeine acts on one’s brain serotonin levels like a trampoline, causing sharp spikes in this neurotransmitter, which offset the sexual impact of dopamine.

Still, research has found caffeine can be a bit of an aphrodisiac. A University of Michigan survey of more than 700 couples aged 60 and older found that those who drank their java daily were likelier to describe themselves sexually active (62 percent) versus those who did not (38 percent). It is believed that caffeine’s antidepressant effect may lend to its sex-stimulating effect.

So when it comes to your "sex diet," make sure you’re being mindful about what you’re consuming. Keep foods in moderation and balanced. More than anything, experiment in finding out what works for you, since our nutritional needs are individual. Further, work with your lover in exploring the different foods and drinks that can impact both of you in your quest for better health and sex.

** If you’re on a medication that interacts negatively with aspirin, consult your physician before consuming fish oil supplements. Both fish oil and aspirin are anti-inflammatory substances that thin the blood.

In-the-Know Sex News…

— Condom-push at Carnival. Health officials in Brazil have announced they will distribute 19.5 million condoms during the country’s five-day Carnival. It is hoped the effort will reduce the spread of sexually transmitted infections, including HIV. Not everyone is thrilled with the government practicing prevention, however. Church officials are opposed to such condom distribution, fearing it will "encourage orgiastic behaviors." About 600,000 Brazilians are living with HIV/AIDS.

— Newly homeless at higher risk. A study out of the new UCLA AIDS Institute finds that homeless youth who have been away from home for up to six months are likelier to engage in risky sexual behavior if residing in non-family settings, such as abandoned buildings, the streets or a friend’s home.

Males who were tracked were likelier to have multiple sex partners if they lived in settings without relatives and abused drugs. Drug abuse was the primary predictor for risky sexual behavior for females. Such behaviors are being linked to a lack of social support and supervision.

How to Get Your Freak On - The Beginner’s Guide to BDSM

2008-01-31T09:35:00.000-08:00

A few months ago, I was talking to my new sex partner about what I liked in bed. “I like it a little rough,” I said, “You know, some hair pulling and some smacks on my butt while we’re having sex.”

He sat and pondered this and said, “Have you ever been bent over someone’s knee and spanked?”

Shocked, I exclaimed, “No!”

“Do you wanna try?” he offered.

I stared at him in astonishment.

He smiled and gestured at his lap. He wanted me to assume the position – right now!

My first instinct was to say no thanks – it was silly and weird! But then I reminded myself that I’m a self-proclaimed “trysexual,” so I decided to give it a go.

I lowered my pants, eyeballed him, then draped myself across his lap. He went slow, but he spanked me until my cheeks were pink. And they weren’t the only thing glowing. Turns out I liked it.

National Fetish Day

So how do you go about exploring BDSM and fetishes?

Everyone Has a Fetish

First, you have to come to terms with the fact that everyone is a pervert. That’s right – just like how everyone poops, every adult you know is secretly harboring their own brand of kink. Some never utter what truly excites them out loud. Some never share it with their partner. The poor dears are afraid of freaking people out.

It would be nice if there was a national coming out day for fantasies, a day where every person would put it right out there on the table and acknowledge their turn ons, As in, “Hello, my name is Lucy, and I have a thing for werewolves.” (At this point, my list of kinks looks like a dinner party grocery list.)

Believe me, even the most conservative person has something that titillates them. They tend to feel more ashamed and repress the feelings even more, then take it out on other people. This makes them seem mean, but really they’re just scared and frustrated. A nice spanking would probably do them wonders.

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary, How Does Your Fetish Grow?

I’m a big fan of taking baby steps. If you have a partner, plant a little seed and then back off. Don’t tell them, “I want to host an orgy.” Instead, say something like, “Wouldn’t it be hot if there was someone over there in the corner watching us have sex?” or “I think watching two girls kiss is completely sexy – if you had to pick a female celebrity to make out with, who would you choose, honey?”

Until your partner is more comfortable, always include them in your fantasy scenario. If you don’t, they will feel threatened and alienated. You want them to feel like they’re a part of this intimate thing you are sharing, a partner in crime, if you will. Be patient with them – give them time to digest the idea, and slowly up the ante when the timing seems right.

It’s even better to own up to your kinky fantasy if you’re single, and here’s why – you have the opportunity to put it out on the table from the beginning, which is a lot easier than springing it on someone later.

Yep, I challenge you – on the second or third date, tell her that you like wearing women’s underwear. Tell him you used to play Burglar with your girlfriends during sleepovers. This has worked wonders for me. Oh sure, I’ve scared plenty of people off, but I didn’t fake my way into a relationship, which pretty much dooms its chances of being a happy, open and honest situation.

Are You Ready to Come Out?

Sure you are! You can start by going online and searching for the things that turn you on. The one thing I’ve heard over and over again from loads of people is: “Thank God for the internet. I’m not the only one.” Join an online community – it feels great to be able to let down your guard and talk openly about what you like, even if it is anonymous.

Next, try it out on a trusted friend, the kind of friend who would pick you up at 3am if your car broke down, or bring you a care package of cold syrup and cough drops if you were home sick fighting a monster cold.

Finally, share it with the person you are closest to – you know, the one you live or sleep with. I hear a lot of people claim that they married their best friend, but a best friend in my book is someone you can share EVERYTHING with. As in, no secrets. So just do it already.

A Invaluable Tool

Not able to pinpoint exactly what gets you excited? That’s understandable – you’ve had to keep a lid on it for as long as you can remember. A great way to find out what you like (LOVE!) is to fill out a BDSM checklist. You can find several versions on the internet, but the ones I’ve seen have been limiting or incomplete in my opinion. So I’ve created my own ultimate BDSM fetish checklist. You can easily copy and paste it into a word processing program, or print it out.

Take your time filling it out, chip away at it. Your first pass through it will not be the most accurate. A great next step is to have a friend or your partner fill it out, then compare them. I guarantee when you see someone else’s, you’ll want to go back and add to yours, or change some of the answers to be more honest. (You might also want to fill it out again in a few months and see how the answers have changed.)

How does yours compare to theirs? Are they similar? Are they opposite? If you’re comparing to your partner’s list, how can you incorporate some of these new ideas into your routine? For instance, who knew that you both had a thing for latex? This calls for a trip to the party supply store! Or medical supply store, depending on the kind of latex.

Yes, your journey towards bringing out your inner pervert has begun – congratulations! You’re replacing society’s blindfold and gag with a kind that is much more rewarding and fun.

How To Be A Good, Responsible Dad And Still Have Great Sex With Your Wife (Video)

2008-01-30T09:51:00.000-08:00

Can you really be a good husband AND a great lover?

Remember that she was your wife before she was ‘mom’.

Married couples and especially new parents often forget this very important fact. You were couple before you were parents.

Your biggest responsibility as parents is to love your children and provide a stable home.

You can’t do that if you’re divorced.

Watch this short video

Make Time For Your Relationship First

I know you’re exhausted. I know you’re tired. You’ve had a really long day.

But it’s critical to your relationship whether it’s two weeks older 20 years old, to make time for one another and to nurture your relationship. Schedule some time to just be together, whether its first thing in the morning, a nice lunch, or some quite couple time before you drift off to sleep, couple time is very important.

It doesn’t make you bad parents if you get a babysitter once a week so that you and your partner can go out on a nice, intimate, romantic date. As a matter of fact, it may even make you better parents. Parents who actually stay together. Parents who are able to give fully to their children because they feel nurtured and loved as an individual.

Teach your children now what it means to be a well balanced individual. Don’t let them grow up thinking that they have to sacrifice everything to become parents. Just because that’s what your parents may have done, does not mean that’s what you have to do.

Don’t forget why you became a couple in the first place.

Remember the things that you used to say to one another and the things you used to do for one another when you first started dating…

Now start doing them again!

Remind Her How Sexy She Is To You

It’s really easy for a "mom" to start thinking of herself only as a mom and to forget that deep down in there somewhere is the sexy vicious woman that she used to be. It’s very important for a man to lead his woman note that he still thinks she’s sexy and that he still thinks of her as a wife and not just a mom.

Little things go a long way with women. Flirt with her. Let her know that you still think she’s attractive. Ask her out on a date - one that you planned to surprise her.

Don’t take your time together for granted. Treat every day with your wife as if it were the last day on earth. All we very have in life is this moment so live in the present. Not yesterday - it’s already gone. Not tomorrow - it may never come. Be the best partner and parent that you can possibly be - today.

Our best advice for a long term, successful relationship is to live it one day at a time. If you can say before you go to bed each night "I want to see you again tomorrow", then you’re well on your way to a life long relationship.

Wanted: Someone to kill my boyfriend's wife

2008-01-30T04:34:00.000-08:00

A US woman was arrested this week after she allegedly tried to hire a hitman to murder her married lover's wife by posting an ad on the popular website craigslist, law enforcement officials said Sunday.

Anne Marie, 48, from Grand Rapids, Michigan offered www.craigslist.org users the chance to kill Carol, a 56-year-old woman in California, in a vaguely worded free ad under the category of "Freelance," according to court documents.

Two women and one man responded to the ad, with at least one applicant believing it to be an offer for freelance writing work. During subsequent emails, Anne Marie divulged that the task was actually a hit.

"Marie informed (one of the people who responded) that she was looking for 'silent assassins' and she asked him to eradicate a targeted victim," offered 5,000 dollars for the job and provided the address, name, age and occupation of the man's wife.

"Asked what she meant by 'eradicate,' Anne Marie said 'Duh. Well to have her killed," the court documents said.

The woman, who also goes by the name Anne Marie Linscott, was charged with three counts relating to murder for hire and using interstate commerce to commit a felony.

"This complex investigation was initiated in November 2007 and we have been very concerned for the well being of the victim," said Butte County Sheriff Perry Reniff, according to a statement released by the Sacramento FBI.

The potential victim's husband "acknowledged meeting Linscott through an on-line college course in 2004 or 2005," and said "he and Linscott developed a very deep and intimate online relationship," the FBI statement said.

The pair met for sex on at least two separate occasions in 2005 and 2007, and "have continued to communicate via telephone and email."

Asked by law enforcement officials how she would feel if her target were murdered by a respondee on craigslist, the suspect "stated she would be scared that law enforcement would track it back to her," court documents said.

Testicle-tearing ex jailed

2008-01-29T10:17:00.000-08:00

A British woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicle with her bare hands and tried to swallow it has been jailed.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage when Geoffrey Jones, 37, rejected her advances at the end of a house party, Liverpool Crown Court heard.

She pulled off his left testicle and tried to swallow it, before spitting it out.

A friend handed it back to Mr Jones saying: "That's yours."

Monti admitted wounding and was jailed for two-and-a-half years.

Sentencing Monti, Judge Charles James said it was "a very serious injury" and that Monti was not acting in self-defence.

The court heard that Mr Jones had ended his long-term but "open relationship" with Monti towards the end of May last year.

The pair remained on good terms and on 30 May she picked him up from a party in Crosby and went back for drinks with friends at Mr Jones's house.

An argument ensued and Mr Jones said there was a struggle between them.

In his statement, Mr Jones said she grabbed his genitals and "pulled hard".

He added: "That caused my underpants to come off and I found I was completely naked and in excruciating pain."

The court heard that a friend saw Monti put Mr Jones's testicle into her mouth and try to swallow it.

She choked and spat it back into her hand before the friend grabbed it and gave it back to Mr Jones.

Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ.

In a letter to the court, Monti said she was sorry for what she had done.

She said: "It was never my intention to cause harm to Geoff and the fact that I have caused him injury will live with me forever. I am in no way a violent person."

The letter added: "I have challenged myself to explain what has happened but still I just cannot remember. This has caused much anguish to me and will do for the rest of my life."

How to Stop Resentment From Killing Your Relationship (Video)

2008-01-29T00:07:00.000-08:00

After being married for a while, many couples find themselves in a situation where one partner feels angry, hurt, and/or resentful toward the other.

They feel that they’re the only one who’s made sacrifices for the relationship, that they gave up their dreams, so that their partner could succeed.

Is it possible to overcome these feelings of resentment and move forward to have a loving and caring relationship?

Watch this short video

All The Things I Gave Up…

We often choose to ‘give up’ certain things in our lives for the ones we love.

They don’t force us to give them up, and because of this, it’s not fair to blame our partners, or anyone else, for the decisions that we make or for the things that we choose to give up.

Making sacrifices for those we love is a very admirable thing to do, and most of us do it because we want what is best for our loved ones.

Of course ‘give up’ is an interesting, and often misleading, phrase to use when referring to something in a relationship.

What ‘give up’ really means is that we’ve chosen to do something (or to not do something) in order to make our partners happy rather than to make ourselves happy.

Then we try to blame them because we’re unhappy with our decisions!

Parents are particularly notorious for this one, often saying things like, "All the things I gave up for you, and this is how you repay me!"

We did not ask our parents to change their lives or to give up their dreams for us, and yet many parents somehow blame their children for their own misery.

How Silly Is That?

We all make decisions every day that determine how we live our lives and whether or not we pursue our dreams - whether or not we’re happy.

Happiness is a choice.

We are not victims of circumstance, though many of us would like to believe that we are. If we were victims of circumstance then we wouldn’t have to take responsibility for our own lives. How convenient…

On the other hand, if we actually do take responsibility for our decisions and our happiness, then we have to own up to the fact that we are ultimately responsible for our own misery as well.

Unspoken Expectations

What normally happens in a relationship is that the moment we make decisions for the good of our partners rather than ourselves we create certain expectations for how our partners will react as a result of our ’sacrifice’.

Essentially our partner’s positive reaction to our self-negating behavior is the very reason we make those kinds of decisions in the first place.

These ‘unspoken’ expectations can include all kinds of things - from a small recognition (such as a simple "thank you") to an overwhelmingly positive response (such as complete attitude change).

From our (the sacrificer’s) perspective, we’ve chosen to give up certain things or ideals so that our partners can have what we perceive they want and need.

Often times we don’t even ask our partners if this is what they want and what will make them happy!

So when our partners don’t respond in the way we expected them to, we get angry and resentful and wonder why they didn’t keep their side of the bargain.

That’s not really fair to them, now is it?

So rather than basing our happiness on our partner’s actions or reactions, we should take responsibility for own happiness starting right now.

Take Responsibility For Your Own Happiness

Here are some questions you should ask yourself.

What else will make me happy right now, in this moment?

Identify what’s missing from your life and what will really make you happy. This is not about your wife, your children, your boss, or anyone else. This is about you looking inside your own heart.

Don’t worry about what others might think or say. Ask yourself what would truly make you happy.

There’s a book called "The Passion Test", that can be very useful in helping you identify what’s missing from your life and what will really make you happy. I highly recommend purchasing this book and actually reading it.

The only way you’ll ever be happy with yourself, or be able to have a happy and loving relationship, is to own up to your own happiness - to take complete responsibility for it, and to recognize that true happiness starts from within.

YOU OWN IT!

Med students get more sex

2008-01-28T10:08:00.000-08:00

MEDICAL students have sex with more people than students of any other discipline, a survey has found.

A survey of more than 1000 students at Cambridge University found those studying medicine had an average of eight sexual partners in their lives so far.

Student union president Mark Fletcher told student newspaper Varsity the results came as no surprise.

“It’s obvious that the mathematicians haven’t found the winning formula yet,” Mr Fletcher said.

“But it’s good to see that doctors and nurses is still a popular game.”

The poll, which was carried out by the newspaper, found theology students had the fewest number of sexual partners with two.

Political science students had seven, while those studying history had six partners.

Those enrolled in language courses averaged five sexual partners.

But don't worry if you are not the brightest student - the survey found poor performers tended to have a higher than average number of sexual partners.

About 25 per cent of respondents said they had tried sado-masochism and 40 per cent said they had had a one-night stand, but more than 60 per cent said they had never been checked for sexually transmitted diseases.

Prostitutes of Guatemala

2008-01-26T05:12:00.000-08:00

A prostitute from El Salvador who identifies herself as Melisa, 30, poses for a portrait while waiting for clients in her rented room on a street called in Spanish "La Linea," or "The Strip," where dozens of women work as prostitutes in Guatemala City, Tuesday, April 17, 2007.

Prostitutes from Costa Rica who identify themselves as Julie, 23, left, Tamara, 24, center, and Angie, 22, talk with potential clients, not seen, from their rented room on a street called in Spanish "La Linea," or "The Strip," where dozens of women work as prostitutes in Guatemala City, Friday, May 25, 2007.

A prostitute who identifies herself as Melisa, 30, laughs as she poses for a portrait while waiting for clients in her rented room on a street called in Spanish "La Linea," or "The Strip," where dozens of women work as prostitutes in Guatemala City, Tuesday, April 17, 2007.

A prostitute from El Salvador who goes by the name Kathy covers her face while talking to a potential client in her rented room on a street called in Spanish "La Linea," or "The Strip," where dozens of women work as prostitutes in Guatemala City, Tuesday, April 10, 2007.

A prostitute from Costa Rica who identifies herself as Angie, 22, smokes a cigarette while clients wait in the doorway of her rented room on a street called in Spanish "La Linea," or "The Strip" where dozens of women work as prostitutes in Guatemala City, Friday, May 25, 2007.

A prostitute from El Salvador who identifies herself as Vilma poses for a portrait as she waits for clients in her rented room on a street called in Spanish "La Linea," or "The Strip," where dozens of women work as prostitutes in Guatemala City, Monday, April 23, 2007.

A sixty-five year old prostitute who identifies herself as "La Abuelita," or "The Grandmother," poses for a portrait in a rented room where she has been living for the last 42 years on a street called in Spanish "La Linea," or "The Strip," where dozens of women work as prostitutes in Guatemala City, Friday, Jan. 19, 2007. La Abuelita is said to be the oldest sex worker on The Strip, and due to severe back pain is now considering retirement and expects to survive on selling goods.

Prostitutes buy fresh goat milk while waiting for clients outside their rented rooms on a street called in Spanish "La Linea," or "The Strip," where dozens of women work as prostitutes in Guatemala City, Monday, May 28, 2007.

A prostitute from El Salvador who identifies herself as "La Flaca," or "Skinny," checks her makeup as she waits for clients in her rented room on a street called in Spanish "La Linea," or "The Strip," where dozens of women work as prostitutes in Guatemala City, Thursday, April 19, 2007.

A prostitute who goes by the name in Spanish "Gata Salvaje" or "Wild Cat," waits for clients outside her rented room on a street called in Spanish "La Linea," or "The Strip," where dozens of women work as prostitutes in Guatemala City, Wednesday, April 11, 2007.

A prostitute from Nicaragua who identifies herself as Brenda talks to a man as she stands in the doorway of her rented room on a street called in Spanish "La Linea," or "The Strip," where dozens of women work as prostitutes in Guatemala City, Thursday, April 12, 2007.

Does Wanting to See My Wife Have Sex With Another Man Make Me Gay? (Video)

2008-01-24T09:15:00.000-08:00

When of the most popular fantasies out there is the idea of the threesome…

Most men love the idea of seeing their woman have sex with another woman while they watch, or the idea of having two women have sex with him at the same time.

But threesome fantasies don’t stop there…

There are also men out there, who love the idea of watching their woman have sex with another man.

Here’s an interesting question. If a man enjoys the idea of watching his woman have sex with another man, does this make him gay?

Here’s a question from Michael whose fantasies have him wondering about his sexuality.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My girlfriend and I have talked jokingly about threesomes in the past. But recently she’s been bringing up the idea more often. I’m worried about what she would want afterwards like if she’d wanna bring home a guy. I don’t know how to respond…

I have entertained the thought of watching her have sex with another man while I watch. Would that make me gay to enjoy watching it? Also, I had more homo erotic thoughts but haven’t gotten hard around a guy that’s straight.

Am I just curious, confused or bi?

— Michael, Massachusetts

Does This Mean I’m Gay?

We’re all sexual beings. We all have a unique ideas and fantasies, things that turn us on. Don’t get stuck on labels and just consider yourself ‘sexual’. It’s very common, and very exciting for most men, to think of their girlfriend as bi-curious, but most men get a little nervous when they think of a bi-curious boy.

But on that topic… We ran an online dating site for over three years and were very surprised by the large number of bisexual or bi-curious men. It’s not as uncommon as you might like to think.

There’s nothing wrong with being bi-curious, bisexual, or gay. That’s just your sexual preference. The sooner you get in touch with your own sexual preferences and desires, the happier and more fulfilled your sex life will be.

On The Topic Of Threesomes

So the idea of watching your partner with another man or woman that you really excited - and you have talked to one another enough to know that it gets your partner excited as well…

Here three tips to help make your first threesome more successful:

1. Talk About It

Before you and your partner set out to act out your fantasies of having a threesome, it’s critical that you both talk about it and understand why you want to do it. It’s also important to talk about what kind of threesome you are interested in.

Do you want to see your girlfriend with another woman, or perhaps another man. Do you want to see your boyfriend with another woman or another man. Do you both want to be intimately involved, or you prefer to just watch.

It’s also important to talk about who this third person will be. Will it be a close friend? Will it be a stranger? Do you want to be friends with him or her afterword are you just looking for one night stand? What should his or her age be? What should they look like?

It’s important to talk about the details up front so that you don’t end up fighting over something silly halfway down the road…

2. Set Boundaries And Stick To Them

Boundaries…

This is an important one that many people overlook. Before your first threesome, and your second, and your third, talk about what’s OK and what’s not. Where is your comfort zone? Where is your partners comfort zone? Are there any actions that are forbidden?

It’s a worthwhile exercise to actually take the time to write down what is OK and one is not. We have some good friends who jokingly refer to their first list… it must’ve been 100 items long. You can do this. You can’t do that. This is OK. That’s not. — Now they have just two runs a list away. That works for them. Your list may get longer. The important thing here is that you talk about it and agree on the ground rules before during and after.

3. Try It And Then Talk About It Some More

Once everyone’s happy and feels COMPLETELY comfortable, go for it. Try it. See how it feels and talk about those feelings. What surprised you? What didn’t? Did the experience go as you expected it? Do you want to do it again?

Hopefully by now you get the point…

Communication is critical in your relationship and even more important when you bring other people into the relationship.

We can’t say it enough… Talk. Talk. Talk.

British Growing More Liberal on Sex

2008-01-24T02:55:00.001-08:00

LONDON (AP) - The buttoned-up Brit may be a myth.

British people's attitudes to sex and marriage have grown increasingly liberal over the last two decades, according to a study released Wednesday. But behavior has changed less than opinions.

The annual British Social Attitudes Survey said 70 percent of people think premarital sex is acceptable, while less than a third believe homosexuality is wrong.

In the 1980s, almost half of Britons surveyed disapproved of premarital sex and three-quarters thought homosexuality was always or mostly wrong.

``The heterosexual married couple is no longer central as a social norm,'' said Simon Duncan, the report's co-author.

Researchers said attitudes have been shifting gradually over the years.

Britain's marriage rate is falling, with a corresponding rise in the number of unmarried people who live together. The 244,710 marriages in England and Wales in 2005 - the last year for which figures are available - was the lowest number since 1896.

Two-thirds of those surveyed felt there was little difference socially between being married and living together. Only 28 percent agreed with the statement ``married couples make better parents than unmarried couples,'' a figure largely unchanged since the question was first asked in 2000.

Duncan said views are more traditional when it comes to child-raising.

``When they are involved, alternative family arrangements are seen as less acceptable,'' Duncan said.

Opinion on single parents was evenly split, with 42 percent of people saying one parent could raise a child as well as two, and 41 percent disagreeing.

Just under a third of respondents said two gay men in a couple can be good parents as well as a man and a woman; 42 percent disagreed.

Only 17 percent of men agreed with the statement ``a man's job is to earn money; a woman's job is to look after the home and family'' - down from 32 percent in 1989.

But behavior appears to have changed less than attitudes. More than three-quarters of respondents in heterosexual relationships said the woman does the laundry, a figure little since 1994.

``People are a lot more liberal in what they think, but it is still women doing the same things they did 20 years ago,'' said another of the researchers, Elizabeth Clery.

Conducted by the National Center for Social Research, the survey interviewed 3,300 randomly selected adults across the country about topics as diverse as politics, the environment and racism.

Margins of error for sections of the report vary between two and three percentage points.

Thirty percent of respondents admitted to being biased against other races, saying they were ``very'' or ``a little'' prejudiced. That compared to 34 percent in 1985, but was up from 25 percent in 2000 - a fact researchers said likely reflected the impact of the Sept. 11 terror attacks.

The vast majority of those who admitted prejudice said they felt that way ``a little.'' Only 2 percent said they were ``very prejudiced,'' a figure unchanged since 1991.

Police: Drug Money Bought Winning Ticket

2008-01-24T00:57:00.000-08:00

ELLSWORTH, Maine (AP) - His lottery ticket was a $1,000 winner, but police have seized it saying it was bought with proceeds from an illegal drug sale.

Michael David, who had been staying at an Ellsworth motel, sold four 10-milligram methadone pills for $15 each last week, Police Chief John Deleo said. He then went to a convenience store and bought lottery tickets and other merchandise and went back to his motel room, where he was busted.

"I guess it will be up to a judge to decide, but it's in our possession right now as proceeds from a drug transaction," Deleo said of the winning ticket.

David, 46, remained in custody Monday in the Hancock County Jail on drug trafficking charges. An official at the jail said David was not available for comment.

Gay Christian group criticises new equality commissioner

2008-01-22T05:15:00.000-08:00

Riazat Butt, religious affairs correspondent
Monday January 21, 2008

A gay rights group has compiled a dossier criticising the record of one of the UK's newly appointed equality commissioners, Joel Edwards.

The Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement (LGCM) said Edwards had a history of "agitating against the full inclusion of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community under equality law".

The group was today printing a 10-page document on the appointment of Edwards, leader of the Evangelical Alliance, to the Equalities and Human Rights Commission (EHRC).

Using information from the alliance website, the LGCM set out to demonstrate that Edwards "in his own words and actions is unfit to be an equality commissioner".

In February 2007, it says, Edwards wrote to the government asking for exemptions from equality legislation in the provision of goods and services for lesbian and gay people.

Specifically, he asked that Christian agencies be allowed to opt out of dealing with gay couples: "What harm can be done by exempting certain agencies which, as a matter of conscience, are unable to accommodate such requests? Contrary to popular portrayals, those who hold to such principles are not merely bigots or narrow-minded fundamentalists."

Two months later, in a newsletter, the alliance commented that laws requiring non-discrimination would deprive Christian organisations from their right to discriminate: "The outcome suggests that, rather than balancing rights, the right to live a homosexual lifestyle will effectively trump the right to live a Christian lifestyle in public ... following other controversial developments within the human rights industry, it appears that a hierarchy of rights is emerging, with religion and belief deemed bottom of the pile and subservient, especially to sexual orientation rights."

The LGCM chief executive, the Rev Richard Kirker, said the dossier would be sent to the EHRC chair, Trevor Phillips, Edwards, other commissioners and Harriet Harman, the secretary of state for equality.

"It's a prerequisite that anyone chosen should be chosen on the basis that they've not disparaged other strands. It's mystifying, unless he has quietly and privately altered his views. The appointment brings the commission into disrepute and Edwards should resign."

The Evangelical Alliance has said its focus is not "on human beings who experience same-sex attraction but on homosexual practice which we regard as a behaviour choice, together with associated attempts to normalise it."

In a 1998 statement, entitled Faith, Hope and Homosexuality, the alliance called on congregations to welcome and accept lesbians and gays in the expectation that "they will come in due course to see the need to change their lifestyle in accordance with biblical revelation and orthodox church teaching".

"We urge gentleness and patience in this process, and ongoing care even after a homosexual person renounces same-sex sexual relations."

It also commended the work of organisations seeking to help homosexual Christians live a celibate life and those which "responsibly assist homosexuals who wish to reorient to a heterosexual lifestyle". A May 2006 event featured True Freedom Trust, a group offering to "cure" people of homosexuality.

Edwards said he welcomed and supported the presence of lesbian and gay people on the Equalities Commission.

"I therefore find it a shame that the LGCM considers my belief system less equal than others and a barrier to my serving the British public.

"The faith community is actively working for equality and justice in many different areas and I would be disappointed if my contribution to this commission is only seen in the light of issues around sexuality."

An EHRC spokesman said Edwards had the full support of the secretary of state: "He is well qualified as leader of the Evangelical Alliance and brings expertise both as a faith leader and a senior figure in the black community.

"As regards the issue of his views on a particular piece of legislation, no two commissioners share the same views on every matter. However, the views of the commission on the sexual orientation regulations remain unchanged. This has been expressed on several occasions by our chair and there can be no exceptions to equality. The law is the law and it is our remit to uphold that."

Ooh, It Hurts So Good: Sadism & Masochism - The Pleasure of Pain...

2008-01-22T00:13:00.000-08:00

The first time I ever had sex was on the hardwood floor of a friend’s house.

He was older, on top, and yep, it hurt.

But I was amazed at how receptive I was to that discomfort, how I welcomed it and accepted it as part of the complete sex package. Years later, I still feel that mingling of pleasure and pain when intercourse is initiated, and wow, is it nice!

What is S&M?

The correct sexual term for sadism and masochism is to combine it – sadomasochism, or S&M.

The sadist part refers to a person who gets sexual pleasure from inflicting pain on another person. The pain can be mental or physical.

Masochists are people who get off on receiving pain. If your immediate thought when it comes to sadomasochism is of whips and chains, well, I like your way of thinking, but that’s just on the extreme end of the spectrum.

Sadism is to domination as masochism is to submission.

That means that S&M doesn’t necessarily have to be hardcore role playing – it can be what I like to call “gentle-rough sex”.

It can be having your hair pulled or your nipples pinched. It can be your partner teasing you to the point where you’re begging for sex. It can be light, playful, and just a little bit edgy.

It’s up to you how far you want to take it.

Who Does S&M?

Lots of people.

That woman in the carpool line ahead of you. The guy who made your sub sandwich at lunch today. That mousy shy co-worker of yours who avoids eye contact. Your sister. The lawyer who fixed your traffic ticket…

You get the idea.

We’re not talking serial killers or crazed nuns out for revenge – most of the folks who dabble in S&M are nice, normal, kinky people. And they are all around you, like a zombie monster movie, only way more fun.

Where Does S&M Take Place?

Mostly, in the bedrooms of ordinary houses in the suburbs.

But it can also happen in trendy downtown lofts, 23rd floor penthouse suites, out on the farm, and sure, in clubs with S&M dungeons. Most cities have clubs like that, or fetish nights.

There are also thousands of online communities and local groups who meet to discuss safety, equipment, and exchange tips on what kitchen utensils work best in sex play.

Why S&M?

Pain and pleasure are two separate things, but they are closely related. They both stimulate nerve endings, they’re both associated with the mad release of endorphins, and they both make you feel alive.

Vanilla sex is more physical – S&M is more mental.

What do I mean by that? Vanilla sex is simple – it’s about giving and receiving pleasure. S&M is more complex – it is delving into your deep, dark fantasies, sharing them with another person, pushing your limits, and facing fears.

Most of us are conditioned to avoid pain at all costs.

That makes sense – we’re hardwired for survival. But to embrace it – to subject yourself to it deliberately and on your own terms – that is a way of finding control in a world where you often lack control.

Both sub and Dom participants will often find themselves in a euphoric “zone” once they push past a certain point.

For instance, I knew a friend whose father was dying of cancer. She took care of him, but during her respite free time, she met up with a Dom who would punish and beat her. It was her way of coping with the guilt associated with her sick father, and was an effective way to take her mind off of the helplessness she felt.

As for me, I like being bit or having my hair pulled or my bottom spanked.

I’m curious to see how much I can take, and I’m lucky enough to have found a good Dom who is willing to be my guide. He doesn’t get off so much on inflicting pain as he does in seeing how much it arouses me.

I get turned on, he’s turned on, it’s a win-win situation.

I wonder if someday I can handle a belt or paddle…Stay tuned!

Epidemic Feared - Gays May Spread Deadly Staph Infection to General Population

2008-01-21T02:24:00.000-08:00

Reuters has reported that, "A drug-resistant strain of potentially deadly bacteria has moved beyond the borders of U.S. hospitals and is being transmitted among gay men during sex, researchers said on Monday.

"They said methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus, or MRSA, is beginning to appear outside hospitals in San Francisco, Boston, New York and Los Angeles."

"'Once this reaches the general population, it will be truly unstoppable,' said Binh Diep, a researcher at the University of California, San Francisco who led the study."

According to the study, at this point, homosexual men are 13 times more likely to contract the potentially deadly, drug-resistant strain of staph infection, but the fear is that, because the infection is spread via skin-to-skin contact, homosexual men may soon spread it to the general population.

Matt Barber, Policy Director for Cultural issues with Concerned Women for America (CWA), said, "The medical community has known for years that homosexual conduct, especially among males, creates a breeding ground for often deadly disease. In recent years we have seen a profound resurgence in cases of HIV/AIDS, syphilis, rectal gonorrhea and many other STDs among those who call themselves 'gay.'

"The human body is quite callous in how it handles mistreatment and the perversion of its natural functions. When two men mimic the act of heterosexual intercourse with one another, they create an environment, a biological counterfeit, wherein disease can thrive. Unnatural behaviors beget natural consequences.

"In recent years our culture has adopted a laissez faire attitude toward sexual deviancy. Television shows like Will and Grace glorify the homosexual lifestyle while our children are taught in schools that homosexuality is a perfectly healthy, alternative sexual 'orientation.' 'Stay out of our bedrooms!' we're often commanded by militant 'gay' activists.

"Well, now the dangerous and possibly deadly consequence of what occurs in those bedrooms is spilling over into the general population. It's not only frightening, it's infuriating.

"Citizens, especially parents, need to stand up and say, 'No More! We will no longer sit idly by while politically correct cultural elites endanger our children and larger communities through propagandist promotion of this demonstrably deadly lifestyle.'

"Why does it take a potentially deadly staph epidemic for people to acknowledge reality? Will that even do it? Enough is enough!" concluded Barber.

Wife: Hubby's TV honesty improved

2008-01-21T00:12:00.000-08:00

A British husband's honesty about his sex life on a television show has won him $100,000 and -- his wife says -- strengthened their marriage.

Stuart Brandwood was hooked up to a lie detector during taping of "Nothing But the Truth," a show hosted by Jerry Springer, The Daily Mail reports. The first show, featuring Brandwood and his wife, Amanda, airs Wednesday on Sky One.

Amanda Brandwood, of Warrington in Cheshire, said her marriage is "stronger than ever" now that she has worked through her husband's answers and forgiven her.

She submitted two questions for Springer to ask her husband. One, whether he had ever paid for sex, made the cut, while the other, whether he had had an affair, did not.

But her husband admitted the affair to her privately because he did not want her to hear it first on television.

Springer also asked him if Amanda was the best lover he had had -- and he said "no."

Brandwood said he was 30 when he married Amanda and she realized he had a past.

Gay men at greater risk from superbug

2008-01-20T07:17:00.000-08:00

Washington - Sexually active gay men are at much greater risk than heterosexuals of infection from a highly virulent bacteria that has proven resistant to most antibiotics, according to a new study released this week.

The research by the University of California at San Francisco found that the highly-drug resistant "superbug" MRSA bacteria - an acronym for methicillin resistant staphylococcus aureus bacteria - can be transmitted readily through homosexual intercourse, putting gay men at increased risk.

Methicillin is a widely-used penicillin-related antibiotic.

"These multi-drug resistant infections often affect gay men at body sites in which skin-to-skin contact occurs during sexual activities," says Binh Diep, of the San Francisco General Hospital Medical Centre and lead author of the report appearing in the online edition the Annals of Internal Medicine.

The study is to appear in the print edition of the medical journal next month.

A review of medical records from outpatient clinics in San Francisco found that sexually active gay men in San Francisco are about 13 times more likely to be infected than the general population.

Extrapolating from medical records, researchers estimate that about one in 588 people living in San Francisco's Castro district - a neighbourhood with the highest number of gay residents of any community in the United States - is infected with the multi-drug resistant MRSA bacteria.

The MRSA bacteria appears to be transmitted most easily through intimate sexual contact, but also can spread through casual skin-to-skin contact or contact with contaminated surfaces.

Until recently, MRSA bacteria were confined to hospitals, where extensive use of antibiotics has prompted highly-resistant bacteria strains to evolve.

But in recent months, scientists have observed a growing number of cases of the illness surfacing outside the hospital setting, causing a number of deaths and serious illnesses.

Man In Graphic Anti-Smoking Ad Still Smokes

2008-01-18T00:58:00.000-08:00

He's the poster boy for the state's new anti-smoking campaign. But 48-year-old Skip Legault is still smoking -- despite an amputated leg, two heart attacks and a stroke.

The state Department of Health confirmed Friday that they chose a smoker for the ads, saying it helps underscore the risks associated with nicotine addiction.

In the ad, Legault, looking into the camera and supporting himself on crutches, recites a litany of health woes, including a first heart attack at age 28 and another at 29, then says: "Every bit of this is from smoking."

Dr. Richard F. Daines, the state health commissioner, defended the campaign, which began running on television, in newspapers and on the Internet in November and ends Jan. 22.

"Here's someone who's willing to step forward and show his weaknesses in public," Daines said. "I think it took a lot of courage."

A message left for Legault on his home phone was not immediately returned.

But in an interview with the Daily News, which first reported the story, he said, "I don't tell anyone to quit smoking. I tell people the effects smoking does to me and people I've been in contact with."

Legault, who once smoked three packs a day but has cut back to half a pack, was paid $4,000 for his time in producing the ads, the health department said.

Daines said the fact that Legault hasn't been able to kick the habit "demonstrates how extreme this addiction can get."

"Smoking is still the single most reversible, avoidable cause of premature vascular disease," he said. "High blood pressure typically takes lifetime treatment. For smoking, you just have to stop smoking and the risks decline."

Increased sex drive for women in their thirties?

2008-01-17T10:31:00.000-08:00

Dear Alice,

Is it true that a woman's sex drive is at its peak when she reaches 30? I can vouch for the fact that at 32, I think about sex more than I ever have in my lifetime.

—Horny 30's

Dear Horny 30's,

This sex drive statistic came from researcher Alfred Kinsey, PhD, who learned that women had more orgasm in their thirties than at any other time in their lifespan. This may be due to many reasons. Women in their thirties often have become more comfortable with their bodies and with their body responses. Their orgasms, sometimes from intercourse/penetration, more often than not, have become more reliable. They often have more self-confidence and a stronger sense of themselves. Women in their thirties also have a better sense of their needs, and perhaps are more willing to communicate their needs more fully. More familiar with their body responses, they can describe what they want to their partner more easily, thus increasing their sexual satisfaction. This increased sexual satisfaction can then result in a cycle of desiring more sex.

Another factor to take into account is the change in hormone levels as women age. As men and women age, their testosterone levels drop, with a slower decrease in testosterone in women. This gradual decrease can cause women to desire sex more often than men their own age. Also, as hormone levels fluctuate in a thirtyish-year-old woman, her desire for sex may change, as well. In most cases, the desire for sex increases.

People are unique individuals who'll desire sex in different ways and quantities. In the meantime, you can enjoy your sexual energy, your lust, your fantasies, and your magnificent thirties. Contrary to what many believe, life isn't all downhill from here. As people grow older, what they lose in frequency, they make up in quality. Just think of sexuality and pleasure as improving with age, similar to fine wine.

New Bacteria Strain Is Striking Gay Men

2008-01-17T07:57:00.000-08:00

A new, highly drug-resistant strain of the “flesh-eating” MRSA bacteria is being spread among gay men in San Francisco and Boston, researchers reported on Monday.

In a study published online by the journal Annals of Internal Medicine, the bacteria seemed to be spread most easily through anal intercourse but also through casual skin-to-skin contact and touching contaminated surfaces.

The authors warned that unless microbiology laboratories were able to identify the strain and doctors prescribed the proper antibiotic therapy, the infection could soon spread among other groups and become a wider threat.

The new strain seems to have “spread rapidly” in gay populations in San Francisco and Boston, the researchers wrote, and “has the potential for rapid, nationwide dissemination” among gay men.

The study was based on a review of medical records from outpatient clinics in San Francisco and Boston and nine medical centers in San Francisco.

The Castro district in San Francisco has the highest number of gay residents in the country, according to the University of California, San Francisco. One in 588 residents is infected with the new multidrug-resistant MRSA strain, the study found. That compares with 1 in 3,800 people in San Francisco, according to statistical analyses based on ZIP codes.

A separate part of the study found that gay men in San Francisco were about 13 times more likely to be infected than other people in the city.

The San Francisco researchers suggested that scrubbing with soap and water might be the most effective way to stop skin-to-skin transmission, particularly after sexual activities.

MRSA, for methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus, was once spread chiefly in hospitals. But in recent years, a number of healthy people have acquired it outside hospitals.

Nearly 19,000 people died in the United States from MRSA infections in 2005, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has reported.

The infection can cause unusually severe problems, including abscesses and skin ulcers. The bacteria can invade through the skin to produce necrotizing fasciitis, giving them the popular name of flesh-eating bacteria. They can also cause pneumonia, damage the heart and produce widespread infection through the blood.

Among gay men in the study, MRSA was spread by skin contact, causing abscesses and infection in the buttocks and genital area.

The new strain is closely related to earlier ones. Both are known as MRSA USA300.

The strain is much more difficult to treat because it is resistant not just to methicillin, but also many more of the antibiotics used to treat the earlier strains, said Dr. Henry F. Chambers, an author of the new study.

The new strain contains a plasmid called pUSA03.

“This particular clone is resistant to at least three other drugs, clindamycin, tetracycline and mupirocin,” Dr. Chambers said in a telephone interview.

Of the alternatives recommended by the C.D.C. and the Infectious Diseases Society of America, trimethoprim-sulfamethoxazole (Bactrim), clindamycin and a tetracycline, “this strain is resistant to two of those three,” he added. “In addition, the new strain is resistant to mupirocin, which has been advocated for eradicating the strain from carriers.”

College student sex stats: Am I the only one not doing it?

2008-01-16T08:50:00.000-08:00

Dear Alice,

Do you know how many college students are having sex? Are there any statistics? I was wondering if it is lower than a lot of people would have you believe. I feel like I'm the only one sometimes who is not having sex. Thought maybe I'd see if it was true. Thanks.

Dear Reader,

Even if you were the only college student not having sex, that wouldn't make you "strange" or abnormal. You would just be doing what feels comfortable for you. People ultimately make their own choices based on many things, including privacy, opportunity, finding a caring partner, cultural or religious beliefs, and trust levels.

A study of undergraduates at four universities published in 2005 shows how college students' perceptions of their peers' sexual activity can be overestimated. The study, by Scholly, Katz, Gascoigne, and Holck, which asked questions about various "sexual behaviors," shows that while 80 percent of students had 0 or 1 sexual partner during the preceding year, only 22 percent of those students believed their fellow students had one or fewer partners. Students in this study perceived their fellow students were more sexually active than they actually were. In fact, 59 percent of students reported having no sexual activity within the past 30 days. Similar findings were reported in the 2002 National College Health Assessments. Seventy-one percent of participants had 1 or fewer sexual partners during the previous year. However, the common belief among respondents was that their peers had at least 3 partners during the previous year.

Although national statistics on college students' sexual behaviors are available, rarely have study sponsors asked participants precise questions about specific sexual activities. For many, especially college students, "hooking up" means different things to different people. One person's hook up may be a simple kiss, while another person's hook up may include oral, anal, and/or vaginal penetration. As a result, one may get the impression that everyone who "hooks up" is having intercourse or penetration. How people define sex or interpret certain sexual behaviors shape their answers to the questions asked.

For example, a national study conducted by Zogby International and commissioned by the Foundation for Academic Standards & Tradition (FAST), a nonprofit student advocacy organization, was released in June 2000. College students were asked, "Are you sexually active?" Fifty-six-and-a-half percent of the students replied "yes"; 40.4 percent said they were not. Of the students who answered "yes," 7.9 percent said that they had not had sex during the preceding semester. The survey, however, did not define "sexually active." To some, "sexually active" meant foreplay or sexual intercourse, but to others it meant passionate kissing.

An additional national study, conducted in 1995 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), asked fifteen questions about sexual behavior. For the purpose of this particular survey, "sexual intercourse" was defined as vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse, or oral/genital sex. This study also found that 79.5 percent of college students 18 to 24-years-old had had sexual intercourse and that 55.4 percent had had sexual intercourse during the 30 days preceding the survey.

But since neither of the latter two studies presented here addressed other specific sexual behaviors, the college students who participated were able to interpret most questions for themselves. This resulted in statistics that covered a broad range of nonspecific behaviors, making these studies not definitive. And bear in mind that not every member of the student body was surveyed; the personality of a student who is willing to participate in such a survey may also skew the results.

When it comes to sex, or even alcohol and other drug use, among college students, what students perceive may not necessarily be what's real. So while it may seem to you that many college students are having "sex" while "hooking up," the research does show that many are not.

As a result, be assured you are not the only college student who is not having sex. Either way, it's important to be true to yourself — to have sex, the kind that you want, by yourself or with a consenting partner, when/because you want to, and not because of anybody else's behavior.