By Christ Pro Erotic
This is how messed up my understanding of faith and sexuality was as a believer in Jesus. In order to show myself worthy and approved, in order to make sure I can present myself pure before God, self-love was not an option for a believer because it was seen as a sin against God.
Masturbation means I see something (or someone) to cause my loins to stir and thus touch myself; this means I violated the "fornication" code of having sex outside of marriage and violating God’s plan for me.
The message against masturbation
I can’t remember if I became a believer first, masturbated first, or both, but I think after reading some Christian books and hearing teachers from the pulpit come heavy against sexual issues I got the message very clear. If you are to a believer of honor, then you are to keep yourself sexually pure till marriage.
I tried not to touch myself down there. Not to masturbate or think of pleasing myself because it’s evil, of course. My will power (unfortunately) was like one Cosmo Kramer who was the first to loose "the Contest" against Jerry, Elaine, and George on the Seinfield series.
Then again, that could be a good thing.
But is It really wrong?
You see after many tears, many times mentally and spiritually beating myself up, I soon realized maybe masturbation is not a bad thing after all. My human sexuality teacher recommended Betty Dodson’s book "Sex for One."
Man! Talk about an eye opening theory about the practice; she even had pictures and the whole nine yards.
But the thing that won me over to the "Touch Myself" club was a letter from a Pentecostal woman from Cincinnati, Ohio. She wrote how she felt guilty for years due to the church world she lives in, but because of the book it opened her eyes and mind. Now she knows God won’t shoot her down for touching herself.
"Well if she can do it and find inner peace, why not me?" I thought.
The truth about loving yourself
I realized a few things along the way to enjoy masturbation and keep things in perspective:
Many believers look at Onan as the reason why masturbation shouldn’t be part of a believer or non-believers life. If the passage in Genesis is looked at closely you can see it wasn’t masturbation in the sense of giving pleasure to ones self. God struck down Er because of his wickedness. After that happened, God asked Onan to fulfill the duty of his brother and continue the gene line by lying with his widow Tamar.
In what could be dubbed "the costliest money shot of all time" Onan "spilled his seed" so Er’s family line wouldn’t have an offspring. So Onan lost his life over the betrayal.
Tradition and retribution
Somehow tradition–or the fear of God’s retribution–latched on to this story as a way to keep many men (or women) from masturbation. So please, for the love of truth, stop blaming Onan as the one who messed up masturbation. Blame it all on tradition and for a wrong-headed approach to understanding to what self-love is all about.
The real truth
All the myths about masturbation–blindness, hairy palms, madness, neurotic disorder, etc.—are not true. Next!
We all masturbate throughout our lives. From the time we are babies till we are old and gray, masturbation is one of those things that makes us human. To deny it is both comical and tragic at the same time.
Frequency of self-love ranges from several times a day to every other day to a few weeks to none at all (unless one suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder). But normally, you are fine if that’s all you do with yourself.
God will not condemn you for having a sexual thought let alone if you are touching yourself over a sexual thought. You might have problems if you are thinking about possessing someone you know doesn’t belong to you.
But if a person turns you on, or an image, or a sexual thought and you just have to express your normal desires you are feeling then enjoy the time with yourself.
Masturbation is good for you!
The health benefits are huge! You can find out what turns you on and causes orgasm to releasing some sexual tension by masturbation. Also, it helps with sexual dysfunction due to the inability to orgasm, prostate health for men, relieves menstrual cramps, eases headaches, causes one to sleep, and promotes well being with the chemicals released during orgasm. Hmm, the benefits outweigh the myths. Did I mention it’s the safest sexual practice of them all?
The last thing about masturbation we need to touch on as Christians is the guilt factor. Again, if you feel you have the freedom to enjoy this practice without any guilt whatsoever weighing on your mind then enjoy.
Too many times believe everything our preachers and teachers say instead of studying for ourselves–with scientific fact and research–whether a practice is beneficial or not.
The information we have today is very accurate as opposed to the myths we discussed earlier. I have come to realize I have more issues about dealing with the things coming from my heart than self-love. Let all the ravers and ranters from the pulpit scream all they want. Masturbation is as good of a time as one person can with themselves.
Not that there’s anything wrong with it.
(Note: Thanks to Betty Dodson.com for their info and pick up a copy of her landmark book Sex for One: the Joy of Self-Loving)
Men are from sex-crazed Mars while women are from soft and romantic Venus, it is often said. But a new study in France has debunked the myth.
Researchers have found that French women are becoming increasingly assertive in their sexual habits and they've more than twice as many partners now as they did in the 1970s while one in five younger men "manifests no interest in sex".
"Are women just like men?" asked the French Aids research agency, Le Nouvel Observateur, which has carried out the Study on Sexuality in France.
In fact, the researchers came to the conclusion after carrying out in-depth interviews with over 12,000 people of all ages during 2005-06, leading British newspaper The Daily Telegraph reported on Friday.
According to the study, one of the biggest changes in recent years was that male and female sexual behaviour had become increasingly similar.
The proportion of French women who had only one partner has dropped from 68 per cent in 1970 to 43 per cent in 1992 and 34 per cent in 2006 — while a woman's average number of partners has risen from under two in the 1970s to over five today, a man's has remained the same for 40 years, almost 13.
The researchers have also found that French women's first experience of sex is now almost as early as that of the opposite sex — in 1950 there was a two-year difference, but the gap has narrowed to four months, to around 17-and-a-half.
Meanwhile, more women are found to remain sexually active for longer than earlier — nine out of ten women over 50 are sexually active today, compared to just 50 per cent of that age group in the 1970s.
According to the study, young women are still educated to consider their entrance into sexuality as a sentimental relationship experience.
However, one of the more surprising findings was that one-in-five French men aged between 18 and 24 "has no interest in sex", while abstinence rates for men under 35 was twice as high as for women.
"The good old dichotomy is in big trouble," said Le Nouvel Observateur.
KOLKATA: The way Seema Sai murdered her two children is a chilling pointer to the rising crimes against women and girls in the state, say experts.
The latest report of the National Crime Records Bureau paints a grim picture of the state as far as crimes against women and girls are concerned.
In 2006, West Bengal recorded the highest number of cases of 'procuration of minor girls', which means seducing or forcing a girl into intercourse, under Section 366A of the Indian Penal Code (IPC).
The state has reported 77 such cases — a share of 33.3% at the national level — and is followed by Andhra Pradesh and Kerala. Among the cities Kolkata takes the top slot with 11 cases, comprising 68.8% of the countrywide city break-up of such cases.
Bengal accounts for an alarming 92.7% of the recorded cases of girls being bought or sold for sex trade. OF the 123 cases reported across the country in 2006, 114 were in the state. Kolkata is definitely not an 'oasis of peace' for the girl child. The city recorded six cases of girls sold into the sex trade.
This constituted 66.7% of the national average. No other city in India comes even close to Kolkata.
The figures indicate that Bengal has emerged as the major centre for trafficking. Despite several intervention programmes across the state, trafficking remains the biggest menace not only in the rural Bengal but even in Kolkata.
There was a silver lining in the report though. Bengal accounted for just 7.7% of the total number of crime against children in the country.
Social scientist Pradip Chattopadhyay said, "The strict enforcement of anti-sex determination laws has ensured that there are fewer cases of female foeticide in the state. Even then, giving birth to a girl child is still seen as a matter of shame, for which the mother suffers life-long trauma. Just imagine what goes on in the mind of the girl child when she starts understanding these things. The Belur incident is just an indication of the devastating fallout of such stigma."
