Now, in its third year, a comprehensive K-12 sex education program in the Cleveland Schools District seems to be producing results.
"We know we are making progress and that we still have a long way to go," says Cleveland Mayor Frank Jackson.
It is called the Responsible Sexual Behavior Initiative. It is funded by grants and also the Cuyahoga County Commissioners.
With a high teenage pregnancy rate and one of the nation's highest STD rates, city and county health officials believed it was necessary to protect young people.
A survey released today show the majority of parents like the program and it is prompting discussions at home with their teenagers about sex. It appears to also be cutting down on risky behavior among teens.
Parents can opt out of the program for their children, but most do not.
By Kathryn Jean Lopez
In a season just past that’s all about a virgin birth, the Washington Post decided to play Scrooge. Virginity pledges don’t work, an article in that paper recently proclaimed, citing a study packed with the usual hyperbole: abstinence talk is for adults living in a sexless fantasy land! When it comes to kids it’s all about sex, and those silly folks who pretend otherwise are making our kids sick and pregnant.
“Taking a pledge doesn’t seem to make any difference at all in any sexual behavior,” researcher Janet E. Rosenbaum of the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health told the Post. “But it does seem to make a difference in condom use and other forms of birth control that is quite striking.”
An official from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy led the charge in what turned out to be an orgy of abstinence bashing on the Post’s part: “This study again raises the issue of why the federal government is continuing to invest in abstinence-only programs,” she fumed. These folks miss something fundamental: a virginity pledge is more than abstinence education – it’s a promise.
The National Abstinence Education Association disputed the whole premise of the study, using this obvious tack. Its executive director, Valerie Huber, remarked to me in an e-mail interview: “The author inaccurately equates the holistic breadth of an abstinence education program to the one-time event of a virginity pledge. A pledge and an abstinence program are not synonymous.”
But the problem goes beyond lumping in a simple, cut-and-dried oath with the complicated issue of abstinence education. The conundrum boils down to this: it’s not all about sex. It’s no shock to anyone who understands human nature, never mind kids, that any virginity pledge that fixates on brute carnal relations is not going to work. Repeating the mantra “Don’t do it,” even when you’ve got a teen doing the repeating, isn’t enough. How could it work? Popular culture is obsessed with sex. We can’t even manage a family dog movie (“Marley & Me”) without Jennifer Aniston taking off her clothes. And until that changes, of course, a hormone-mad teenager will be sorely tempted to join in the seemingly ubiquitous fornication, pledge or no pledge.
Does that mean we pass out condoms at school because we’re not going to change the culture anytime soon? No. It means kids need support and reasons engage in activities other than sex. Abstinence has to be about saying “yes” to something in order to work. We need to focus on the idea that kids can actually think, and should want more from a relationship than sex. We need to be open to programs that aren’t all about copulation, but about character education.
Because, as Huber and others have noted, building strong lines of parent-child communication while developing and maintaining a sturdy ethical core helps kids immensely when it comes to keeping their pants on.
Meet a child in the Best Friends program, and you’ll see what I mean. An abstinence-education program aimed at inner-city kids, Best Friends adheres to a program that’s met with resounding success. By emphasizing the wealth of activities available to today’s youth, with a special focus on fun and constructive, communal activities, Best Friends can deliver a message that sticks.
Some studies suggest that early premarital sex leads to all sorts of problems, including later divorce. But common sense suggests this as well, and programs like Best Friends teach that sort of thinking – along with a healthy dose of self-respect. Acting responsibly and waiting for a committed, loving relationship pays dividends down the line. And the more examples kids have of successful marriages, the more likely they are to put off sex until after the nuptials.
Forever ingrained in my mind is a scene from 2007’s hit film “Juno,” in which the titular teen, who has recently learned that she’s pregnant, enters an abortion clinic and is offered flavored condoms by a distant receptionist. Once the troublesome baby bump is taken care of, the assumption is, Juno will return to the activities that landed her in the situation to begin with. But this time she’ll be safe! The scene was a great example of the way we handle sex in popular culture and schools: teen sex and teen bodies are problems to be managed and then ignored. Why should teens respect themselves when we don’t respect them?
Family, religion, and yes, abstinence-education programs that focus on character development address this very problem. They treat teens as people – complicated souls who deserve fulfillment and happiness. Contrary to the common caricature, we conservatives don’t hate sex. It’s out of respect for this great gift that we want to teach a respect for it, marriage, and the individual.
Written by newsUSA
San Diego, California - Today, many couples are experiencing what is known as the "sexless marriage," or a marriage in which a couple has sex only a few times each year. But what many of these couples fail to realize is that they are missing out on the benefits that sex provides, not only for reasons of emotional intimacy, but also for its physical benefits.
Sexless marriages are neither normal nor inevitable. Setting aside time for intimacy works for some couples, while others find help from all-natural sex aids, like Magic Power Coffee (magicpowercoffee.com) or Viagra. But if you are looking for additional motivation in the bedroom, simply recall the benefits a healthy sex life can provide that will keep you feeling youthful, longer:
- Weight control. Sex can burn 84 calories in 30 minutes, while also improving heart and muscle strength, flexibility and muscle tone. Having regular sex can be used as a tool for couples who are looking to shed pounds or maintain a healthy weight.
- Pain relief. Before popping another aspirin, think about hopping into bed. Sex naturally releases endorphins and corticosteroids, which can help relieve pain from migraines, menstrual cramps and chronic back problems.
- Better sleep. Making love can help insomniacs fall asleep, and it's certainly more fun than counting sheep or keeping you partner awake as you toss and turn. Getting enough sleep carries its own health benefits, including healthy weight and blood pressure.
- Stress relief. Sex lowers both blood pressure and overall stress. In a study reported in the journal Biological Psychology, individuals who had intercourse performed better in high-stress situations like public speaking and verbal arithmetic.
- Reduces prostate cancer risk. An Australian study, reported in the British Journal of Urology International, found that 20-something men who led healthy sex lives were less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life.
PEOPLE who skip breakfast tend to lose their virginity earlier, according to researchers in Japan.
In a study of 3000 people, those who did not regularly eat breakfast in their early teens said they lost their virginity at an average age of 17.5, versus an overall average age of 19 for all Japanese.
Those who had a morning meal when they were younger had their first sexual experience at 19.4 years.
The study, backed by Japan's health ministry, was aimed at finding ways to curb unwanted pregnancies. It concluded that a stable home life discouraged early sex.
"Those unhappy with their parents - such as for not preparing breakfast - may tend to find a way to release their frustration by having sex," said Kunio Kitamura, head of the Japan Family Planning Association who led the research.
"If children don't feel comfortable in their family environment, they tend to go out."
Young people who start having sex early tended to miss breakfast because they return home late, he said.
Japan has one of the world's lowest birthrates as more young people put off starting families, finding them a burden on their careers or lifestyles.
The survey also found that nearly 40 per cent of married couples had not had sex in more than a month.
Respondents said they were too tired because of work or found sex to be a pain, according to the study.
When Kansas State University sent researchers into nursing homes to find out how the topic of sex was being addressed, they initially found silence.
"Nobody was talking about it; it was a really hush-hush subject," said Gayle Doll, director of the university's Center on Aging. "I guess it's hard enough for people to think about their parents having sex, let alone their grandparents."
In response, the researchers have produced seminars and training aids to encourage nursing home caregivers to discuss and accommodate sexual desires.
The effort brings Kansas into a national discussion that advocates say will only grow as baby boomers age and take their beliefs about sexual freedom and civil rights into the nation's nursing homes.
One of the first Kansas seminars was held at Schowalter Villa in Hesston, where many staff first reacted with, "We're going to talk about WHAT?" said Lillian Claassen, vice president of health services at the villa.
Claassen said residents' sexuality had always been a difficult subject for nursing homes and the Kansas State training affirmed her earlier efforts to address the topic.
"It wasn't like we hadn't cared for these needs in the past, but it was liberating to some folks to have an open discussion with university researchers," Claassen said. "It empowered people to think about how they could help folks."
Doll said the training focuses on explaining what sexuality means for older adults, identifying barriers to fulfilling the sexual needs, finding strategies to help residents and how to discern appropriate from inappropriate sexual behaviors.
Solutions can be as simple as providing "do not disturb" signs or making sure staffers don't barge into residents' rooms without knocking. Claassen said her nursing home provides a discreet room for residents and has staff work through possible scenarios they may encounter.
Sometimes, it's as simple as arranging a bed for someone who needs physical therapy in a way that also allows that patient to be with his or her companion, she said.
"My greatest interest is to promote dignity in a situation that can be very challenging," Claassen said. "We all need touch, kindness and companionship. We try to enable that in this setting, which can be very public but where there is still a need for privacy."
Sexuality doesn't always mean intercourse. Many lonely or depressed residents are simply looking for ways to relieve loneliness and depression, Doll said.
For example, she told of one resident who had asked for pornography but dropped the request when the staff started spending more time with him.
"The staff can help with the loneliness and need for connection that residents often have," Doll said. "Some sexual expressions that might be seen as inappropriate will go away when they simply get the attention they deserve."
When the need does include sexual activity, the issue becomes more difficult if one of the residents is suffering from dementia, advocates say. That can manifest itself in a resident making passes at a staff member.
Claassen said her staff is trained to respond politely and to understand that the impaired resident may be mistaking the staff member for a spouse or reacting as he or she has in the past, which is often more vivid than the present for those suffering from dementia.
If a resident with dementia becomes involved with another resident, the issue becomes determining if the sexual activity is consensual, said Robin Dessel, a national expert on dementia who is the director of memory care at Hebrew Home in Riverdale, N.Y.
Dessel said people with dementia, even those who can no longer speak, have wants and desires and the ability to express them. It takes a trained and educated staff to recognize if a sexual overture or relationship involves abuse or is borne of real need, she said.
Dessel said she has seen a growing awareness that the aging do not forfeit their rights as they become infirm, and that includes the right to express sexuality. She expects that trend to increase as baby boomers, with more liberal attitudes toward sex than their parents, continue to age.
"No matter what we see, even if someone needs total care or is incontinent, they still feel," Dessel said. "If there's a bonding with someone else, I think it's a time of celebration at that point that there's something left, something good and pleasurable for that person."
To meet that challenge, clinicians and providers need some standardized parameters to use to assess patients' consent, Dessel said.
The Kansas State researchers say federal guidelines should be developed to help nursing homes deal with sexuality in a positive way.
"Nursing homes are the second most regulated industry in the country, behind nuclear power plants," Doll said. "But none of those regulations address sexuality. So, consequently, no one knows how to handle it."
Dec 21st, 2008 is "Global Orgasm Day" during the two hour period of the winter solstice transition. Timing varies based on your timezone, so check out the time here.
The day is designed to effect positive change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible instantaneous surge of human biological, mental and spiritual energy.
To find out more, check out Global Orgasm.
By Philip D. Harvey
Sunday, May 12, 2002; Page B07
The abstinence-only sex education programs in our public schools call for "abstinence until marriage." The federal government spent $115 million on this message last year, and the Bush administration is proposing significant increases for the current year. Sexual abstinence until marriage is now official government policy.
The average age of marriage in the United States today is 27 for men and 26 for women. The abstinence-only program therefore asks our young people to renounce sexual activity throughout much of the early part of adult life.
Age 26 or 27 is an average. There are millions of Americans who do not marry until age 30, 35 or later. I myself did not marry until age 40. Had anyone suggested to me that I should remain sexually abstinent until that time, I would have found the idea preposterous.
Those who insist that sex education in our high schools be confined to exhortations to abstain from sexual activity might say they don't really mean abstinence until age 27 or age 30. What they really mean is abstinence during the younger years.
The problem with this approach is that it is dishonest. If those who assert that sex must be postponed until marriage really mean that sex should be postponed only until age 19 or 20 or 21, they should say so, and their message would be taken more seriously. They do not because their convictions dictate that sex outside marriage -- at any age -- is wrong and, if wrong, cannot be recognized. They may understand that it is unrealistic to expect abstinence until age 27, but they cannot permit themselves to alter their message to take that into account.
I wonder if those who seriously advocate abstinence until marriage would prefer to see the marriage age come down. It is in those cultures where marriage takes place at particularly early ages that abstinence until marriage is realistic. The average age of marriage in Bangladesh, for example, is 18. Under such circumstances abstinence until marriage is at least feasible.
But in modern industrialized societies, where women have educational opportunities and more than half attend college, marriage in the teenage years will likely become increasingly rare. If we agree, as I think most Americans do, that equal educational and occupational opportunities for women are a good thing, that our society is enhanced and enriched by these developments, then I think we must accept the fact that marriage in the middle or late twenties is the modern societal norm. If that is so, the expectation of sexual abstinence until marriage is utterly unrealistic.
I would argue also that such an expectation, when translated into a policy (such as federally funded sex education calling for such a restriction), is wrong. It is wrong to expect young people to be sexually abstinent until they are more than half way through their twenties. Sexual relations are an important component of human happiness, and there is no moral purpose served by abstaining from sex if two people are mature and responsible. Why should they be deprived of sex?
It is worth noting too that many of the reasons young Americans do not marry at age 17 or 18 or 19 are reasons compatible with much of America's traditional cultural agenda. Our youth are less inclined than they were some decades ago to marry hastily, perhaps to the wrong person. Instead, most young Americans wish to be sure that they have found the appropriate mate so that they may create an honorable and viable union. It is difficult to argue with such motivation. Even the practice of cohabitation prior to marriage, now very common in the United States, may be both a sensible and a moral practice, which makes the resulting marriage more likely to be happy and to endure.
In today's United States, a policy of abstinence until marriage is anachronistic. Abstinence until adulthood and then responsible, protected sex is the message we should convey.
Philip D. Harvey is a writer and businessman.
It seems that girls do get on top of their partners when it comes to sex, for a study has found that young women have more bed sharers than men.
Researchers have carried out the study and found that young women are more promiscuous than men and the average 21- year-old is notching up for nine sexual partners as compared to seven in case of males.
In fact, they have based their findings on a survey of 2,000 people. The poll revealed that young women are twice as likely to cheat and more than 70 per cent have had a one-night stand, 'The Daily Telegraph' reported.
In fact, according to the survey, one in four young women has slept with more than ten people, compared with one in five men who had done the same.
What's more interesting is that the survey found that few young women today hold to traditional views on sexual morality -- just one per cent of young women said they would want to get married before having sex, with the majority losing their virginity at the age of 16.
More than half said they were not in love with their first partner, and only one in three believe it is important to be in love with someone before going to bed with them.
In addition, 60 per cent said they would be prepared to do a "kiss-and-tell", and would sell their account of a one-night-stand with a famous person for 20,000 pounds, the researchers found.
Four out of ten confessed they would marry for money or sleep with their boss if it meant they would get promoted, while a quarter would have an affair with a married man.
The survey also found that young women are taking "huge risks" with their health, with 38 per cent not using a condom with a new partner and 16 per cent having contracted a sexually transmitted disease.
And, the average young woman has sex three times a week but would prefer to do it five times.
"Our results show that after decades of lying back and thinking of England, today's twenty-something women are taking control of their sex lives and getting what they want in bed," Lisa Smosarski, the Editor of 'More', which commissioned the survey, was quoted as saying.
By Paul Sims
Being bold and brazen in the bedroom won Carrie Bradshaw and her friends a legion of female fans.
But viewers who think the 'anything goes' sexual antics in Sex And The City is fiction should perhaps think again.
Life, it would appear, is more than a match for art.
Young women are becoming more promiscuous, with more sexual partners than men, researchers have found.
Life imitating art?: The sexual antics of Sex And The City aren't fiction after all
By the age of 21 they have had sex with an average of nine lovers - two more than their male partner.
And a quarter have slept with more than ten partners in the five years since losing their virginity - compared with a fifth of young men.
Young women are also twice as likely to be unfaithful, with 50 per cent admitting they have cheated on a partner - half at least twice.
Yet if their man was caught being unfaithful, 99 per cent of the 2,000 women surveyed said they would show him the door.
The sex survey, for More magazine, also found women crave more sex but still believe men enjoy it more than they do.
The survey follows a U.S. study earlier this year that found teenage girls who watch a lot of TV shows with a high sexual content, such as Friends and Sex And The City, are twice as likely to become pregnant.
The researchers for that study concluded: 'One problem is that these and similar programmes glamorise sex while hardly mentioning its downsides, such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.'
Lisa Smosarski, editor of More, suggested that there will be no turning back for today's sexually confident young women. 'Our results show that after decades of lying back and thinking of England, today's twenty-something women are taking control of their sex lives and getting what they want in bed. And why not?
'Women today have increasingly busy and stressful lives juggling study, jobs, friends, family, career and their relationships,' she said.
'Sex is a great and free way to relax, unwind and have fun in today's fairly stressful society.'
The survey found more than half of the women were not in love with the person to whom they lost their virginity.
And only 32 per cent believed love to be an important factor before having sex. Seven out of ten confessed to having had a one-night stand and a fifth had enjoyed more than five.
Only 1 per cent said they would wait until marriage to have sex.
One in four said they would marry for money whilst 39 per cent would sleep with their boss for a promotion. And 27 per cent would have an affair with a married man, while 14 per cent would sleep with their best friend's partner.
The study was carried out to launch More's safe sex campaign, which starts this week.
It found that almost a fifth of the young women surveyed had contracted a sexually transmitted disease while 21 per cent had been persuaded by a man not to use a condom when they wanted to.
Miss Smosarski said: 'Whilst women aren't embarrassed to take the lead in the bedroom, it seems they're not so forthright when it comes to contraception.'
Forget foreplay, it's what comes after sex that matters most to women, a survey has found.
A survey of more than 5600 women in Japan shows almost half (49 per cent) want a longer continuation of intimate interactions with their partner after sex.
This compares to 44 per cent who said they wanted longer foreplay and the 38 per cent of women who said they wanted longer actual intercourse.
The survey also quizzed the women on how open they were with their partner about sex, and 38.8 per cent said they had never discussed their favourite sex practises with their partner.
"Women consider longer foreplay and after play to be more important," the study, published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, concludes.
"Suggesting women would benefit by being more forthright in expressing their sexual desires to their partners."
More than 30 per cent of the women also rated their partners performance in bed as either "very selfish" (6.9 per cent), or "selfish" (25.5 per cent).
The survey results were released at the European and International Societies for Sexual Medicine, which is underway in Brussels.
Women who lop their hair short are no longer interested in bedroom action, say researchers, who claim that deliberately reducing ones attractiveness can sometimes be a way of repelling mens interest.
London, Dec 6 : Women who lop their hair short are no longer interested in bedroom action, say researchers, who claim that 'deliberately reducing one's attractiveness' can sometimes be a way of repelling men's interest.
Initially, the claim was made by sex therapist and former comedian Pamela Stephenson, 59, who said that ladies who cut their hair are deliberately making themselves less sexy to blokes.
However, now the theory has got scientific backing after experts claimed that the links between long hair and sex go back to caveman times, reports the Daily Star.
Dr Pam Spurr, a relationships expert, said: "The woman who no longer wants sex uses a haircut to show she's reclaiming power in the bedroom.
"For women, hair is a reflection of the person, of her moods and her self-esteem."
Relationship psychologist Anjula Mutanda added: "Cave paintings celebrated long-haired women - the longer the hair the more fertile and, therefore, desirable she was."
But body language and behaviour expert Judy James disagrees, saying: "The only thing it symbolises these days is the shutting off of childhood. In terms of sex, I would argue it has the opposite effect."
Serving a life term for dabbling in the business of erotica, orthopaedic surgeon Dr L Prakash is busy churning out books on various subjects including a four-volume book on Mahabharata in his prison cell.
Convicted for providing pornographic pictures to websites, the 52-year-old doctor reportedly is busy writing on subjects ranging from science, adventure and his pet subject -- erotica.
Prakash was arrested in December 2001 following a complaint from a youth that he was forced to commit sexual acts with women, which were filmed and later posted on websites hosted by the doctor. He was sentenced in February this year.
G Asokan of Banana Books said that he has already published four books of Prakash -- Glimpses of Vedic Wisdom , Swiss Chocolates , Maybach Maiden , and Tangled Web Beats .
Asokan came to know of Prakash through an advocate S Namonarayanan who was imprisoned in the same jail for three days for unlawful assembly where he read Prakash's books and brought this to the notice of the publishers.
Following this the publishers had a brief meeting with Prakash when he was brought to court last June and clinched the deal.
"We will bring out his six lakh worded Mahabharata in four volumes in October and plan to publish more," he said.
Namonarayanan reportedly told Asokan that the doctor was involved in writing for hours. Recently, the Madras High Court allowed the doctor to have a personal computer.
What is the worst thing you could say after sex to someone?
1. "That was alright...Ok bye."
2. "Your sister was better."
3. Does your vagina itch as much as my penis!? Maybe I should get these crabs checked out.
4. You and your mother have ALOT in common! (ooooooooo)
5. "No, I'm still pretty sure you're gay. Nice try, though."
6. " Is it out yet? "
7. I thought you said you were a virgin!
8. "You know you just raped me".
9. "How much you want for that?"
10. Boy says "I Love You Baby!" Girl says, "Why so serious?"
Jamie Oliver believes that women should abstain from sex with their husbands or boyfriends to punish them if they refuse to cook.
“Men are driven by sex,” the celebrity chef said this weekend at the annual Hay-on-Wye festival. “So the best way for women to get their men into the kitchen would be to stop having sex with them until they start to cook.”
Oliver, who is making a Channel 4 series centred on the town of Rotherham, said he was appalled by how few men in the Yorkshire town can cook.
“I ask if they cook at all and they simply say, ‘Don’t be so daft’. I found myself working with men who’ve never even lifted a pan, let alone cooked.”
Oliver, who is best known for television programmes such as The Naked Chef and Jamie’s School Dinners, said that once men had got over the first hurdle, there was “a pride on their faces” when they had learnt to cook a few dishes.
“When I was filming the documentary about better school dinners, I never got to ‘the home’. Now I’m living with families who can’t cook; food has no place in these families,” he said.
“I could halve their food budget. With £60 a week they could eat good dinners, plain lunches and a roast dinner from a good free-range bird every week.”
Oliver, who believes the best cooks in the world are women, thinks many British people are simply scared of cooking. “There is this fear, which is not the case in families in Italy,” he said.
Oliver believes that basic cooking skills should be part of the school syllabus. He is also angry with the government for, as he put it, reneging on its £500m plan to improve school dinners.
“The government has not ring-fenced that money,” he said. “Schools could just as easily buy computers and books in that case.”
The chef is still concerned about what children eat at lunchtime. “I now reckon that 60% of packed lunches are worse than school dinners. The number of kids as young as five with reheated McDonald’s meals and Red Bull [energy drink] in their packed lunches is appalling,” he said.
Oliver added that the government should reintroduce a separate Ministry of Food.
At present food comes under the remit of the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs and Oliver claimed that food issues had been marginalised. The government should encourage more towns to set up markets selling fresh food, he said.
Oliver hinted that his next role would be as a “champion for pigs”. The chef, who supported free-range chickens in his documentary Jamie’s Fowl Dinners, said he had considered concentrating on beef or milk, but opted for pigs after asking his audience.
Most of the sexual problems women experience seem to be rooted in inhibition, according to a Kinsey Institute study.
Researchers studied the responses of 540 women to shed light on why some of them experience these problems and others don't.
Sexual inhibition scores were the strongest predictor of current and past sexual problems, even better than demographic and background factors like age and socio-economic status, besides sexual activities.
"These findings suggest that high scores on sexual inhibition may help predict which women are vulnerable to experience sexual problems," said Cynthia Graham of the institute and co-author of the paper.
"They may also be used as prognostic factors in treatment studies,” says Graham.
"Arousal Contingency" or the ease with which arousal can be disrupted by situational factors, and "Concerns about Sexual Function" were the two most predictive of women's sexual problems.
This theoretical model reflects the idea that sexual response in individuals is the product of a balance between excitatory and inhibitory processes.
Researchers believe these two systems operate somewhat independent of each other and are different in each person.
The study was published in the April issue of Archives of Sexual Behaviour.
A sex and relationship psychologist, Dr. Petra Boynton, is giving women five advice for better sex life.
1. Concentrate on quality rather than quantity. Celebrities are NOT having sex a bunch of time each day. Did you know that an average person make love once a week or less? Explore your erogenous zones, from your toes to your clitoris.
2. Life outside of the bedroom is the main reason why there might be a problem in the bedroom. Women with more time for relaxing have a much better sex life. Try to find time to relax.
3. Shortage of confidence is also a major reason why there might be a problem in your sex life. Work on your confidence and you will feel the urge to get intimate with your partner.
4. Many women are not sure what gets them “horny” or they know but are ashamed to tell their partners. By masturbating you can explore your own body and see what you like and then tell your partner.
5. Condoms are new/old sex toys. Their different tastes can make women exited.
The flutter of eyelashes, the sparkling smile, the chuckle after a lame joke - nothing will help you entice the attention of the man you desire, not because you're doing it wrongly, but because your male interest can't understand the signals.
According to a new research, men are blind to the subtle seduction techniques of the opposite sex.
The study suggests that apart from pouncing on the object of her lust, a woman's non-verbal signals of sexual interest often prove sadly lost on the young male brain.
In the study of nearly 300 undergraduates of both sexes, researchers at Indiana University tested students' abilities to spot a come-on.
The students were asked to view images of women and categorise them as friendly, sexually interested, sad or rejecting.
Each undergraduate reported on 280 photographs, which had been sorted into the four categories based on surveys by different groups of students.
Male students scored worse for accuracy than females - and they were particularly confused by amiability and amorousness. The men commonly mistook women's sexual signals as merely friendly and were prone to see friendliness as a blatant advance.
According to the researchers, rather than going through life thinking, "She wants me", men often find themselves trying to navigate a foreign world of social signals without a phrasebook.
"Women are fluent in body language, men just have the gift of the grab," the Telegraph quoted Kathy Lette, the best-selling author, as saying.
"It is really confusing for women. The average bloke either doesn't realise that we fancy them until we are giving birth to their children in the labour ward; or he presumes all women fancy him all the time.
"God was playing some kind of prank when he developed two sexes," she added.
But the research does not mean that women might as well ditch the lipstick. Not all flirting gets lost in translation.
"These are average differences. Some men are very skilled in reading clues," said Coreen Ferris, the lead researcher.
The study is published in Psychological Science.
By Christ Pro Erotic
This is how messed up my understanding of faith and sexuality was as a believer in Jesus. In order to show myself worthy and approved, in order to make sure I can present myself pure before God, self-love was not an option for a believer because it was seen as a sin against God.
Masturbation means I see something (or someone) to cause my loins to stir and thus touch myself; this means I violated the "fornication" code of having sex outside of marriage and violating God’s plan for me.
The message against masturbation
I can’t remember if I became a believer first, masturbated first, or both, but I think after reading some Christian books and hearing teachers from the pulpit come heavy against sexual issues I got the message very clear. If you are to a believer of honor, then you are to keep yourself sexually pure till marriage.
I tried not to touch myself down there. Not to masturbate or think of pleasing myself because it’s evil, of course. My will power (unfortunately) was like one Cosmo Kramer who was the first to loose "the Contest" against Jerry, Elaine, and George on the Seinfield series.
Then again, that could be a good thing.
But is It really wrong?
You see after many tears, many times mentally and spiritually beating myself up, I soon realized maybe masturbation is not a bad thing after all. My human sexuality teacher recommended Betty Dodson’s book "Sex for One."
Man! Talk about an eye opening theory about the practice; she even had pictures and the whole nine yards.
But the thing that won me over to the "Touch Myself" club was a letter from a Pentecostal woman from Cincinnati, Ohio. She wrote how she felt guilty for years due to the church world she lives in, but because of the book it opened her eyes and mind. Now she knows God won’t shoot her down for touching herself.
"Well if she can do it and find inner peace, why not me?" I thought.
The truth about loving yourself
I realized a few things along the way to enjoy masturbation and keep things in perspective:
Many believers look at Onan as the reason why masturbation shouldn’t be part of a believer or non-believers life. If the passage in Genesis is looked at closely you can see it wasn’t masturbation in the sense of giving pleasure to ones self. God struck down Er because of his wickedness. After that happened, God asked Onan to fulfill the duty of his brother and continue the gene line by lying with his widow Tamar.
In what could be dubbed "the costliest money shot of all time" Onan "spilled his seed" so Er’s family line wouldn’t have an offspring. So Onan lost his life over the betrayal.
Tradition and retribution
Somehow tradition–or the fear of God’s retribution–latched on to this story as a way to keep many men (or women) from masturbation. So please, for the love of truth, stop blaming Onan as the one who messed up masturbation. Blame it all on tradition and for a wrong-headed approach to understanding to what self-love is all about.
The real truth
All the myths about masturbation–blindness, hairy palms, madness, neurotic disorder, etc.—are not true. Next!
We all masturbate throughout our lives. From the time we are babies till we are old and gray, masturbation is one of those things that makes us human. To deny it is both comical and tragic at the same time.
Frequency of self-love ranges from several times a day to every other day to a few weeks to none at all (unless one suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder). But normally, you are fine if that’s all you do with yourself.
God will not condemn you for having a sexual thought let alone if you are touching yourself over a sexual thought. You might have problems if you are thinking about possessing someone you know doesn’t belong to you.
But if a person turns you on, or an image, or a sexual thought and you just have to express your normal desires you are feeling then enjoy the time with yourself.
Masturbation is good for you!
The health benefits are huge! You can find out what turns you on and causes orgasm to releasing some sexual tension by masturbation. Also, it helps with sexual dysfunction due to the inability to orgasm, prostate health for men, relieves menstrual cramps, eases headaches, causes one to sleep, and promotes well being with the chemicals released during orgasm. Hmm, the benefits outweigh the myths. Did I mention it’s the safest sexual practice of them all?
The last thing about masturbation we need to touch on as Christians is the guilt factor. Again, if you feel you have the freedom to enjoy this practice without any guilt whatsoever weighing on your mind then enjoy.
Too many times believe everything our preachers and teachers say instead of studying for ourselves–with scientific fact and research–whether a practice is beneficial or not.
The information we have today is very accurate as opposed to the myths we discussed earlier. I have come to realize I have more issues about dealing with the things coming from my heart than self-love. Let all the ravers and ranters from the pulpit scream all they want. Masturbation is as good of a time as one person can with themselves.
Not that there’s anything wrong with it.
(Note: Thanks to Betty Dodson.com for their info and pick up a copy of her landmark book Sex for One: the Joy of Self-Loving)
Men are from sex-crazed Mars while women are from soft and romantic Venus, it is often said. But a new study in France has debunked the myth.
Researchers have found that French women are becoming increasingly assertive in their sexual habits and they've more than twice as many partners now as they did in the 1970s while one in five younger men "manifests no interest in sex".
"Are women just like men?" asked the French Aids research agency, Le Nouvel Observateur, which has carried out the Study on Sexuality in France.
In fact, the researchers came to the conclusion after carrying out in-depth interviews with over 12,000 people of all ages during 2005-06, leading British newspaper The Daily Telegraph reported on Friday.
According to the study, one of the biggest changes in recent years was that male and female sexual behaviour had become increasingly similar.
The proportion of French women who had only one partner has dropped from 68 per cent in 1970 to 43 per cent in 1992 and 34 per cent in 2006 — while a woman's average number of partners has risen from under two in the 1970s to over five today, a man's has remained the same for 40 years, almost 13.
The researchers have also found that French women's first experience of sex is now almost as early as that of the opposite sex — in 1950 there was a two-year difference, but the gap has narrowed to four months, to around 17-and-a-half.
Meanwhile, more women are found to remain sexually active for longer than earlier — nine out of ten women over 50 are sexually active today, compared to just 50 per cent of that age group in the 1970s.
According to the study, young women are still educated to consider their entrance into sexuality as a sentimental relationship experience.
However, one of the more surprising findings was that one-in-five French men aged between 18 and 24 "has no interest in sex", while abstinence rates for men under 35 was twice as high as for women.
"The good old dichotomy is in big trouble," said Le Nouvel Observateur.
Sydney, March 4: Unlike popular belief, not only the youth, but also older men with lower sex drives are likely to feel morose and depressed, according to a new study.
Depression affects between two and five percent of the population at any given time, the study said. Women are more likely to be depressed until the age of 65, when physical differences between the stronger and the weaker sex all but disappear. Studies suggest sex hormones might be responsible for this phenomenon.
Osvaldo P. Almeida of the University of Western Australia and his colleagues based their study on a survey of 3,987 men aged 71 to 89. Between 2001 and 2004, the men completed reported on their demographics and health history.
They underwent testing for depression and thinking, learning and memory difficulties. Information about physical health conditions was obtained from a short survey and an Australian health database.
Researchers also collected blood samples from the participants and recorded levels of total testosterone and free testosterone, which are not bound to proteins.
A total of 203 of the participants (5.1 per cent) met the criteria for depression. They had significantly lower total and free testosterone levels then men who were not depressed.
After controlling for other factors - education level, body mass index and cognitive scores - men in the lowest quintile (20 per cent) of free testosterone concentration had three times the odds of having depression compared to men in the highest quintile.
The mechanism by which low hormone levels might affect depression risk has not been identified, but might involve changes in the levels of neurotransmitters or hormones in the brain, the authors note.
Findings of the study have been published in the latest issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry.
