HARD DISK GIRLS:
she remembers everything, FOREVER
RAM GIRLS:
she forget s about you, the moment you turn her off
WINDOW GIRLS:
everyone know that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live
without her.
SCREENSAVER GIRLS:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun
INTERNET GIRLS:
Difficult to access
SERVER GIRLS:
Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA GIRLS:
She make horrible things look beautiful
CD-ROM GIRLS:
She is always faster and faster.
EMAIL GIRLS:
Of Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense .
VIRUS GIRLS:
Also known as "wife'' when you are not expecting her, she comes,
installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall
her you will lose something, if you don't try uninstalling her you will
lose everything.. .
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
3:14 AM
12:28 AM
1. If you understand, say "understand" . If you don ' t understand, say " don ' t understand". But if you understand and say "don ' t understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!
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2.I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won ' t wish the wish you wish to wish.
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3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
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4 ..A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.
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5 .. Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People
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6 ..If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?
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7 ..I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn ' t the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn ' t have thought so much.
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8 ..Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"
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9.Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside.
Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside.
Mr Outside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.
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10..SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES
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11.. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn. **********
12..If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?
"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor ' s the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor ' s way"
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13..We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We ' ll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. Watch? Whether the weather is hot.
Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.
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14..Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely .
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15 .A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue
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16..If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.
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17..Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See ' s saw sawed Soar ' s seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See ' s saw Before See sawed Soar ' s seesaw, See ' s saw would not have sawed Soar ' s seesaw. So See ' s saw sawed Soar ' s seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See ' s saw sawed Soar ' s seesaw .....
1:02 AM
* First, forget about making excuses. You need to agree with her that you screwed up big-time, and you need to admit it. Sincerely, contritely, loudly and often. Sincerely apologise and say sorry.
* Next, get ready to make a gigantic concession of some sort. Maybe, you could consider a vacation with your in laws that you have been avoiding for quite a while or do something that she has been asking you to do.
* Take her out shopping, plan on watching a movie together and finally take her for a nice and cosy dinner. Spring a surprise on her, maybe get her some flowers, buy a perfume or something like that without being asked to.
* Take a good look at her and compliment her on how nice she looks in the lovely dress that she is wearing.
9:18 AM
Here is why i think women are better than men :
1. Women smell better
Have a woman exercise all day long , in the head . Have a man do the same thing. After a while you will always find that the woman smells better
2. Women are pretty
They are beautiful , men always like to look at women , they are like jewels or kittens . You can never get bored
3. Women can control men
This is old news , since the dawn of time men have been controlled by women . Even the most powerful man on the planet has a woman that will tell him what to do
4. Men feel good around women
I have noticed that men like having women around . Even on a guys night out , it is good to have a woman in the background . Men like to be watched by women , they need a woman to see what they do .
5. Women are clean
They bathe/shower more often , they will spend hours taking care of their bodies
6. Women are softer
It feels nice when you hold a woman in your arms
The skin is soft and warm , who doesn’t like that ?
7. Women can make babies
Yup , we men would be extinct if there where no babies , having women around will keep us alive . Men will never be able to have children (maybe with some tech ? )
8. Women have boobies
Another thing that a man can’t have . In fact Boobies control the universe and the minds of men.
9. Women have more holes than men
Yes it is true , they do have more holes , a tested and proven fact , unless we shoot a man , he will always have fewer holes :)
10. Women do not need men
If they discover a way to procreate without the help of man , we are fracked .. This is why we are still around ..
ok , that is about it .. i am sure there are way more reasons , these are the ones invoked by me today
5:26 AM
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”
“What?” said the puzzled groom.
“How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”
“Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!”
“Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?”
“You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!”
11:18 PM
http://view.break.com/462486 - Watch more free videos
Nice Video & No Extreme Porn, Funny.
8:05 AM
JOHANNESBURG (AFP) - A car-owner in the South African capital Johannesburg was driven to desperation when she found a family of Cape Hyrax, small animals that resemble guinea pigs, living in the engine of her BMW.
Hoping to shake off the short-eared, short-tailed creatures known locally as dassies she drove at high speed to a dealership on the other side of town, but failing to do so dumped the vehicle there without giving an explanation.
Astonished staff at the BMW dealership phoned Johannesburg Zoo and asked them to come and rescue the animals as the car had been abandoned in their washbay and was interfering with their work, a zoo official told AFP.
"The guys (BMW staff) called us and said that there was movement in the engine, that there were animals (there)," said collection manager at the zoo Dominic Moss.
"When we opened the bonnet the dassies were running about the engine and chassis plate, under the engine and inside the bumpers of the car," he said.
"Dassies can get quite big, the size of a cat. If you can imagine having six cats in your engine," added Moss.
The animal expert believed the dassies had chosen the BMW as their new home because its space and warmth made them think they were in the "rocks" somewhere.
"The BMW is obviously nice and warm and looks like a rocky outcrop and that's why they wanted to live in it," he said.
Judging by the amount of dung found in the car, the dassies had obviously been around for a while, he added, after the car engine had been stripped down to get at the little creatures.
"They were covered in grease and had fanbelt burns... some were badly injured," Moss said.
5:46 AM
CHICAGO (Reuters) - A Chicago tavern said on Thursday it will begin selling chicken wings coated in one of the world's hottest peppers -- a dish so hot that patrons first have to sign a waiver agreeing not to sue for injuries.
Jake Melnick's Corner Tap said the wings made with Red Savina pepper will be served with an alarm bell for patrons to summon waiters with sour cream, milk sugar and white bread if things get out of hand.
Levy Restaurants, which owns the tavern, said its chef d'Cuisine Robin Rosenberg had been working on the concept for years but was never sure he'd be able to serve it.
"This isn't the right sauce for everyone, but for someone out there, this is going to be absolute heaven. Of course, for a handful of people, it's going to be hell," he said.
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