The Man's Guide to Buying Women's Lingerie (by Roxanne Rhoads)

No matter how adorable she looks in sweats or how comfortable she is in flannel pajamas or maybe she wears lingerie for you…but it’s the same stuff you’ve seen a hundred times, you are dying to see her in something a little more racy. Yeah she still gets you hot whatever she wears…or doesn’t wear; you are just craving something different.

So what do you do? Do you risk telling her you are bored with her choice of bedtime attire and risk hurting her feelings…or worse, making her angry? Or do you take matters into your own hands and go on a shopping trip?

Obviously you are going on a shopping trip. But where do you start? What should you buy? What size should you get?

First of all you have to envision the things your woman likes and wears so you can get an idea of what colors and styles she likes. For instance a woman who likes basic solid color clothing probably would not be thrilled if you brought home some funky animal print teddy. Nor would a woman who prefers bold and dark colors like blood red, purple, midnight blue, or black be very happy with some pale pink frou-frou nightie. A conservative woman might be a little embarrassed if you expected her to wear a short latex skirt and tube top.

But if she’s into latex, leather, bold animal prints and wilder, revealing clothing than by all means get her something risqué.

You also want to consider styles. You want to give her something that will make her feel beautiful and sexy not over exposed or self-conscious. Babydolls are a good choice because many body types look good in them. They are simultaneously sexy and flattering. Teddies and long classic gowns are also good choices.

If she’s a little more adventurous you might want to try a body stocking. They are very stretchy (you don’t have to worry about size, they are usually one size fits most) and somehow flatter most body styles and many men seem to find them extremely erotic. If you are not sure what a body stocking is, look it up online, and find one on a woman, not a mannequin or just a shot of the body stocking. You’ll want the full affect. Trust me.

The most important thing you need to know though is what size she wears. Nothing can upset a woman and kill the mood faster than the wrong size. If it is too big she’ll think that you think she’s fat. If it is too small one part of her will be flattered that you were thinking she is smaller than she is but the other part of her will be pissed because you’re a moron and you got her the wrong size and now she can’t wear it for you.

Never guess when it comes to sizes. If you don’t have a clue you need to find out. The easiest though not so subtle way will be to come out and ask her. If you want the lingerie to be a surprise this is probably not the way to go because if she is like many women one simple question will lead to an interrogation of why you need to know what size she wears. You could always ask her sister, mother, or best friend if you are close enough and open enough about matters like that. I know when my husband wanted to get me lingerie he called my best friend because he was completely clueless as to what size to get.

The next best thing is to sneak into her underwear drawer and scout out the size tags on her most intimate attire. Hopefully she’s not obsessed with removing the tags from everything. Look for sizes on her underwear usually a number like 5, 7, 8 and so one. Some may just say S, M, or L for small, medium and large. Scout out a few pair to get a good idea if there are various sizes in the drawer. Also make sure you are looking at something you have seen her wear recently. Ladies tend to hold onto lots of clothing, even something that has gotten too small because they plan to lose weight and get back into it. You will also want a bra size -these magic codes are usually a number and a letter like 36 B or 38 D.

If she has any other lingerie in the drawer or closet like teddies, nightgowns, and what not try to find sizes on those as well. Those are the golden numbers if you plan to get her something in a similar style.

Now that you have her sizes write everything down so you don’t forget.

What’s next? You get to shop, but where? There are so many lingerie and adult stores on the Web it is unreal. You are bound to get bogged down and overwhelmed by all the choices and selections. Plus you won’t get personalized service or have the experience of being able to touch the fabrics. Being able to feel the fabric of lingerie is a great thing.

The Web can be a great place to get ideas but if you want to get this right shopping in a store with trained sales staff to help you make a good selection may be a better choice. These ladies are often skilled at picking out something that would be absolutely perfect. Believe me when it comes to lingerie you may need another woman’s help.

There is always Victoria Secret. There is one in most shopping malls. Victoria’s Secret might not exactly be your choice or even her style. Most department stores have lingerie sections with very helpful staff that can help you find something just right.

Do you want something a little sexier than the gowns and teddies available in regular department stores? How about Frederick’s of Hollywood or Lover’s Lane? They both carry a wide variety of lingerie from simple and sexy gowns to exotic costumes, dance wear, corsets and thongs even sexy stockings, shoes, and boots. Lover’s Lane also carries massage oils, lotions, lubricants and items for couples if you are considering including some accessories in the mix. (I would never recommend giving a woman a sex toy as a gift though, that’s a can of worms you might not want to open unless you are absolutely sure she’s into that type of thing).

So you’ve scrolled through the sites online and found some things that may rock your world but you are convinced she’d never wear them. You’ve taken trips to several stores and didn’t find anything that really stood out or else there was so much to choose from you became completely overwhelmed and scared you were going to buy the wrong thing.

I’d say trust your gut and go for it, just buy her something and get it gift wrapped nice and pretty. Women love pretty packages.

If you still can’t bring yourself to purchasing something the next best thing is to buy her some other type of gift, then take her on a “surprise” shopping trip to a lingerie store and the two of you can pick out something sexy together. This might even be the better choice because she’ll let you know what she’d wear and what she likes so there is no way you’ll get the wrong thing. Plus you might even want to pick out some other fun stuff while you are there. Shopping together could really add some spice to your love life.

Oh and be sure to take mental notes while you’re there so the next time you want to buy her something kinky you’ll have a much better idea of what she’ll wear and what size to get it in.

© 2008 Roxanne Rhoads

Roxanne Rhoads is a freelance writer, erotica author, poet, and editor She writes everything from articles to web content. She is interested in all things sexual so her writing focuses mainly on topics involving sex including; erotic fiction and poetry, how to articles, product reviews, female sexuality, and female sexual rights. A sexual connoisseur and creature of the night, She is an outwardly quiet person who best expresses herself with the written word. If she wants you to know or believe something about her it will appear in her writing. A lady must always have secrets and she guards hers closely. A voyeur at heart she lurks in the shadows learning the secrets of others while she remains a mystery.

Roxanne's writing has appeared in Playgirl Magazine, on Tit-elation.com, JustusRoux.com, Oysters and Chocolate (Online) and The Erotic Woman (Online). You can learn more about her at Roxanne's Realm, My Space and her group for erotica readers and writers, Erotica Lovers.